OmG the world's most embarrassing thing has just happened.

[churchmouse84]

I would like the floor to swallow me up.

I went to see a friend today and had a brief chat with her husband, also a friend.

We talked about a film and I sent him a text message to say that I was watching it.

My phone screen is broken at the moment and sometimes goes off on a life of its own. I runs away with itself and selects random words.

I apparently have just sent him a text which says 'I want you'

I have apologised profusely but actually can't breathe.

It doesn't sound very believable.

I'm mortified.

If you mean my post doesn't sound believable, I wouldn't make It up, but yeh he doesn't think sometimes, he thought better of what he was about to say, when he really would have been much better off saying it. He does have an extremely long tongue. But anyway, I did explain to my mum what he'd meant next time I saw her.

I sent a text to my dp a while back, can't remember what it was supposed to say but auto correct turned it into "just doing my dad"! Mortified, he brings it up constantly. Also sent him a text about a year into our relationship with a shortened word and auto correct turned it into my ex's name! Was at the very beginning of the text aswell so looked even more dodgy.

A old friend (male) suggested we shared a twin room at a wedding because we were struggling to find anything and it was really expensive. He asked if I'd be comfortable with that.

I was tired and not really concentrating properly, and texted "just as long as you don't bite :p".

Turns out, if you don't hit the "s" properly, the letters in snore are very close on the keyboard to the ones in bite. He was a bit surprised...

I was messing with my phone on Facebook and then stuck it in my back pocket. Decided to go in the shower. When I got out of the shower my sister was calling me. Apparently I'd gone "Facebook live" as I must have not locked the phone screen before putting it in my pocket. Luckily it was just a fuzzy black screen but there was audio of me having a wee then getting in the shower.

19 views I had. 19

I’m learning Spanish and told someone I am 27 anuses...horrific image to enter the mind.

I was once dealing with a female client via email who got a bit snotty I typed their surname wrong (Think Snith instead of Smith) and sent a quick apologetic email addressing it to Brian

She wasn’t happy.

My phone sent a text to a child whom I childmind’s dad. It said ‘I love your nuts’ complete with three emoji confers! WTF?
It even did exactly the same again a few days later to my son!

Conkers not confers

I worked in a rough bar when younger and saw a bloke go into the ladies , the ladies toilets were up a flight of stairs, so I shouted out "oi you out !"
Turns out it was a butch lesbian.
It was dimly lit!
And that's all I said so she made the assumption! ( she protested she was female)
They stayed hours and I squirmed a lot !
My boss thought it was hilarious
I still cringe

I once locked myself out of my shared house whilst taking the bins out - communal gate code had changed and I didn't know as usually drove in and used key fob. None of the neighbours were in.

Had to walk half a mile through town in my pajamas and slippers to ask a barman I knew to call my house mate for the code. And I had gross bin juice all over my hands.