OmG the world's most embarrassing thing has just happened.

[churchmouse84]

I would like the floor to swallow me up.

I went to see a friend today and had a brief chat with her husband, also a friend.

We talked about a film and I sent him a text message to say that I was watching it.

My phone screen is broken at the moment and sometimes goes off on a life of its own. I runs away with itself and selects random words.

I apparently have just sent him a text which says 'I want you'

I have apologised profusely but actually can't breathe.

It doesn't sound very believable.

I'm mortified.

LOL that is funny OP!!!

And it reminded me of something funny I saw on twitter the other week

This man on twitter said....

'I sent my pal a message which had an unfortunate autocorrect.. it said.'

do you want to go for a wank by the canal?'

I meant 'do you want to go for a wank by the river!'

@thenewaveragebear1983

I once asked for "vorspiel" (foreplay) instead of "vorspiesen" (starters) in a restaurant in Germany .

Haha, that's not too bad at all if they're friends and you explained your mistake.

I once lived in a share house with a guy I really liked and started to text my friend about how much I liked him and sent it to him by mistake! 🙈
Made for a very awkward living situation for a while! 😬

I am learning French. I managed to tell my boyfriend French mum I loved her on our first meeting. I was trying to say I loved meeting her

@Skittlesandbeer that is one of the funniest things I've ever read :sides hurt:

(Did you get a duck in the end?)

That's bringing up memories of the Jane Birkin song 'ahhh, je t'aime...'

I hope you writhed appropriately.

Skittles is declared champion of the autocorrect!

skittles and Agatha I’ve just LOLed like a small child 🤣

These are fab!! My friend was having a hard time recently with having new twins. I was being supportive and well.. damn autocorrect!!
I threw a duck in there too 🦆 haha!

If it makes you feel better, a couple of weeks ago my dad sent me a very explicit text, obviously intended for his new girlfriend. He tried to pass it off as his workmates getting hold of his phone.

And then, as if that wasn’t bad enough, this week he accidentally called me up instead of his girlfriend and I didn’t realise until he started talking about how “my” body had attracted him. How he didn’t recognise his daughter’s voice during our initial conversation is beyond me!

I dread seeing his name pop up on my phone now!

Oh Skittles 😊😊

I read on Instagram that one lady was so embarrassed after she emailed her solicitor. She intended to write that she needed to cancel her appointment with them and rearrange for another time. So she put something along the lines of, "Dear xxx, I'm afraid I must cancel our appointment on Tues...etc etc". However, she instead wrote, "Dear xxx, I'm afraid" and accidentally hit send. It really made me laugh!

One of my many embarrassing experiences was wearing a pink teddy (not a stuffed toy) in the office. Returned from the loo, and unknown to me, I had not fixed the poppers back, so the lower part was all sticking out of my shirt. Cue for red-faced colleague to say, um, your knickers are all hanging out.
I brazened it by saying 'looks like I'm in the pink today'. Returned to my desk and longed for the earth to swallow me up.

Oh dear @Skittlesandbeer . Am crying!

Back in the day when you had to scroll through people's names to send a text, I sent a sex text meant for my boyfriend 'Matt' to my boss 'Martin' 😂 horrendous!

I was on an interview panel and we appointed a candidate that had done some part time work with us before, so I knew him.

I offered him the job and he accepted. Then he texted me a matey text saying thanks and that he was off to the pub to celebrate. So I text back " Have a drink on me" but no, autocorrect comes up with " have pneumonia on me" which I only noticed when he replied " pneumonia?"

He did forgive me thank God

I once managef to have a full conversation for a good 5 mins with the old guy on the balcony next to mine on holiday without realising i was completely naked. Had the hangover from hell had just woken up and in my half drunk/awake state didnt know i had stripped the night before. Mortified when BF pointed it out when i went back inside

May be too late now but I think you could have got away with "Pressed SEND too soon! I want you... [to explain this part of the film to me]"

My favourite autocorrect, sent to me ages ago by a new friend:

"I hope you have a lonely birthday"

Years later, and now besties, we both still write that message whatever the occasion. Got a postcard from her this summer saying simply "wish you were here, having a lonely time"

I asked the librarian for directions today and she said ‘well it is quite far, I don’t know if you like walking?’ And for some unknown reason I think I meant to say ‘I like buses’ but instead I said ‘I like bottoms’. She gave me a bit of a weird look and I just said ‘I mean I like walking’ and felt like a total moron or someone in a Carry On film. That was quite embarrassing to be honest.

And for some unknown reason I think I meant to say ‘I like buses’ but instead I said ‘I like bottoms’.

Someone else laughing like Mutley, trying not to wake anyone, here. That's so funny! Poor you, have you been back since?

Of all the incredibly funny messages on here, "I like bottoms" was the one that broke me...went from straight faced to wheezing way too fast

I'm laughing so hard at 'I like bottoms' 😂😂😂😂

@Skittlesandbeer 😂😂😂 I spat out my tea everywhere, that's hilarious.

My DM owns a home dog boarding business. She is notoriously shit with technology.

A few years ago, she received a text from a regular customer (an elderly ex judge) around 6am saying there was an emergency, was it possible to look after X today?

Instead of replying, DM accidentally turned the camera around and took a pic of herself, sat up in bed, naked with her boobs out, chins down looking at her phone... and sent it to the customer.

Customer replied saying "don't worry about looking after X today, you don't look very well" 😂😂😂