OmG the world's most embarrassing thing has just happened.

[churchmouse84]

I would like the floor to swallow me up.

I went to see a friend today and had a brief chat with her husband, also a friend.

We talked about a film and I sent him a text message to say that I was watching it.

My phone screen is broken at the moment and sometimes goes off on a life of its own. I runs away with itself and selects random words.

I apparently have just sent him a text which says 'I want you'

I have apologised profusely but actually can't breathe.

It doesn't sound very believable.

I'm mortified.

I don’t get that message to ithink either! So rude! We’re all just having a bit of fun here

I once sent an email in an office whinging about a lazy worker to....the lazy worker. I grovelled such a lame apology and he bought it too. Still makes me cringe remembering it.

I think I’ve been confused with someone else!

No not you
Theres another ithink on page 1

Sorry!

Ah, that makes more sense now. All I could see was ithink saying dying at naked selfie.

Ha lol
sorry for the derail

Glad that's cleared up! Sorry for calling you a twat

I am a twat quite often
Probs been reported now!

The farting one wins

@Skittlesandbeer I can't breathe 😂😂😂😂😂

When I was on OLD I read a really funny profile. I messaged "your profile is the wittiest I've read!"

Turned into "your profile is the dirtiest I've read!"

oh no that's awful..... Poor OP.

laughing at the wank by the canal text followed by no meant to say a wank by the river. that is an excellent save!!

I dated a Dan for a while and had a few near misses with Dad/Dan. made me realise I skim read everything.

I once received a post office card saying I had missed a delivery and it had been delivered to our neighbour at flat 9... so I went across the landing to flat 9 on my way out of the block...knocked on the door, no answer. I proceeded down the stairs. 9's door opens and there is my gorgeous neighbour in his calvins, standing on the landing - above me. I say "I think you have a package for me.". He says, 'No I don't'. I say 'Yes you do, you have a package for me'. Oh mother of God. He looks at me, amused. "Oh...I'm not sure... let me check if my sister has received anything for you". I meekly say thanks and go on my way wanting very much to die but pleased to learn that's his sister he's living with. I pass his sister in the corridor days later and she gives me a 'you are a smutty little harlot' stare.

I checked the card again when I got home. It wasn't flat 9, it was clearly flat 4 which had my package. MORTIFIED.

This isn’t mine, but I read it on a thread here and couldn’t stop laughing.
A woman was having an intimate exam on one of those upright chairs. The midwife who was sitting between her legs when the woman did an involuntary fart. The gust parted the midwife’s fringe.

One of my own: I was sitting in the cafe at Sainsburys and looking out into the car park. A young woman in a trouser suit and high heels gotout of her sporty hatchback and walked towards the entrance. She looked very smart, except for the pair of knickers wrapped around one of her heels. I was mortified on her behalf and went to the entrance to tell her. I was as gentle as possible, but the poor woman was very embarassed!

mrsmaisal I think this is a strategy that others can use.

I've fessed up to DH. He luckily has also seen the funny side.

Thankfully I managed to intervene before this was given to my parents …. but my daughter was raving to my mum about a new toy, she went to get it and to my horror it was one of my sex toys. I might have thrown quite a bit of sugar on the issue to distract (donuts, chocolate, cake and sweeties for everyone lol).

Love this thread

I once grabbed a bald man round both side of the head instead of grabbing the head rest part of a train seat in Brighton. He didn’t like it.
I also shouted ‘hey non nose’ at a random man in the street as I didn’t have my glasses on and thought it was my ex.

Sorry that should read ‘hey nob nose’

cricketmum OMG how embarrassing but hilarious.

The OP's texting incident reminded me of something that happened a few years ago. It wasn't embarrassing,thankfully,but it gave me a good laugh. I was in a supermarket and had made a shopping list on my new phone. I was still getting to grips with using it and didn't realise that it had a 'notes and memos' function on it,so I'd typed my shopping list under my best friend's name,in the texts. I'm not sure how it happened but most of the shopping list got deleted except for the first item,'cabbage',which inexplicably had typed itself about 20 times. You probably know what I'm going to say next! I was looking at it and puzzling over how it had happened when I accidentally pressed 'send',so my friend received a text from me saying 'cabbage cabbage cabbage cabbage numerous times . A few minutes later I got a text back from her saying 'WTAF???????'.

@ALongHardWinter I won't lie there's a bit of me that's kinda proud 😂

I sent "Come over, I have wind" (meant say wine) to my best friend once. She came over anyway

I also sent a message to my new - ish boyfriend which signed off "Sending you lots of kids". I meant kisses, I don't have any children.

so my friend received a text from me saying 'cabbage cabbage cabbage cabbage numerous times

That is fecking hilarious! Laughing so much!
Lol at JovialNickname too!

My neighbour is a GP and did my colonoscopy. It was mortifying as he made small talk during the procedure and then later that evening I had to endure the church carol service and wine afterwards trying desperately not to catch his eye.

I had a new bed delivered. It was an adjustable one, and the head end / feet end /lumbar can go up and down at the touch of a button.

The delivery was later than it should have been and I was running v late for the school run. I said to the delivery men as they were leaving that it was a shame I had to go out to school straight away as I had wanted to have a play myself in the bed first.

They looked at each other and one of them said 'don't mind us...!'

Still mortified, 10 years later.