Did anyone get the birth they wanted?

[JillianHoltzmann]

I'm 40+1 today and just read the thread about not getting the birth you wanted. To be honest, it scared the crap out of me! I totally get the need to share your experience, especially after a traumatic birth, but in the interest of balance I have to ask- did anyone's birth go exactly as planned?

No. Both my Dcs were 36+ hours, wasn't dilating, had to be put on a drip to speed things along both times. Exhausting and agonising pain with little progress.
Morphine, gas and air, and epidurals.

Kind of makes me want to vom when other mother's who were lucky enough to have short labour's and only needing gas and air, think it's something to do with their 'state of mind' and 'pain threshold '. Utter nonsense.

Mine didn’t go to ‘plan’, as if such thing is possible. Was a lot more medical that I would have hoped for, ending in an unplanned C Section. But... I loved it! It was an incredible experience and i’d do it again.

Yes for both of mine.

DS1 I had a hypnobirth and from first contraction to baby was 4 hours. Obgyn supported me and I labored in hospital with DH and doula.

DS2 had heart complications in utero and I had to be monitored so requested my epidural at 11pm when I was 4cm, slept through the night and woke at 6am with OBgYN telling me it was time to push.
He was out in 3 pushes.

Both were incredible births and for me, knowing I was listened to and had ultimate faith that my obgyn knew what I wanted and supported me in both instances.

Yes I did.
My first baby was stillborn, but I didn’t find the physical labour part that difficult (probably due to the shock and grief taking over I admit).

Next 2 DCs were born via c section. Amazing experiences. Just wonderful.

My 1st was an elective c-section and was fine. The next 4 were vbacs in hospital and were good. Last 2 were at home at were great.

No issues with any of them, the longest labour was 4.5 hours and the shortest was 1h 20. Only used gas and air.
Plenty of labours do go to plan, so try not to worry.

The only thing I would say I'm dead set against is a catheter. I'm okay with everything else being flexible- obviously is prefer to avoid ventouse or forceps but if it's medically necessary I'm not that bothered! So maybe things will go to plan! Thanks all for your lovely birth stories, they've really helped me and calmed me down. 😊

I was dead set against a catheter too. However with my first my bladder was too full and it was preventing me from progressing any further. I had a (in and out in 5 min) catheter to drain my bladder and could then continue without any further intervention, so it was worth it.

Both mine were born at home with only gas and air. The first was hard (DD was back to back for the first half) but do-able and went smoothly although we had to go into hospital afterwards for dd1 to be monitored as there was meconium in her waters. There was no rush though and we drove ourselves there after I'd had a shower and a snack. One very small tear that didn't need stitching.

The second was, dare I say it, quite enjoyable. Not especially painful, very calm and I didn't even have to push dd2 out, she just came of her own accord. No tears or stitches needed. The midwives cleaned up, I showered and then they left and we had a Chinese.

I meant to say, dd1 was born at 41 weeks and dd2 was 40+1

For me my only want is that we're both healthy at the end. Anything else is a bonus.

Yes, I did a hypnobirthing course beforehand, and DH, my birth partner came too so he would know what to do, what to ask on my behalf if I was too out of it.

I had group b strep so needed IV antibiotics, which restricted my options for the location to a hospital. However, when i arrived after labouring at hpme for as long as possible using TENS, I was able to use the pool room. They just unhooked the antibiotic drip once that had been administered so that I could stay in the water. I didn't really even notice the cannula and drip as I was in rather a lot of pain as the baby was back to back.

Once they had the antibiotics in me I was left to labour in the pool on gas and air. The midwife respected my preference for minimal monitoring and intervention, dim lights, and largely just left me to get on with shouting down the room with the contractions!

The whole thing took 6 hours from when i got to hospital. As the baby was back to back, it was rather painful but i really think hypnobirthing and the G&A helped a lot, not to mention the water. The hypnobirthing seemed to help me stay calm and not fear the pain I was in. The back labour gave me the urge to push early, but the midwife coached me to breathe through it and not to push and eventually baby turned and was born the right way round in the pool.

The baby was given to me to breastfeed and for skin to skin straight away, then we went on to the ward and then home once they had finished a period of monitoring us due to the GBS. We were out 20 hours after I had arrived.

I was very lucky with mine. I wasn’t sure if I was in labour but it was getting quite painful, went to the hospital, walked from the car park up 2 flights of stairs and to the other end of the hospital although stopping frequently as contractions were coming fast! Midwife checked me out and said I was 10 cm dilated and he came 20 minutes later! It was too late for me to have any pain relief by that point. However that was the good bit. As it all happened so quickly my body went into complete shock, blood pressure dropped very low and I had to stay in with him because it wasn’t safe for me to go home. Baby has to come out somehow! I don’t know many with absolutely horrific stories, most people just had long labours, some of which ended in a c section.

I ended up with a catheter, can’t remember if it was when they did the epidural or after that, nearer going to theatre for my emcs. I felt nothing as it went in, was oblivious to it afterwards, and when it was taken out the next morning (spinal had worn off and I had full feeling back) I barely felt it. Obviously no one wants one and I’m sure others have had less easy experiences with them, but for me it really was a non event, so don’t get yourself stressed about it if they say you need one

I did - no intervention, midwife led, everything happening when it should, placenta delivery all fine.
But I was shocked at how hard it is in the days afterwards, I think so much is said about the actual labour and not enough about afterwards:
The bleeding: (loads)
how fragile I felt, literally felt like I had pulled every muscle in my body. I stayed on the sofa as long as possible.

I had a catheter with my first, after labor was over. I still had the spinal block, so I couldn't get up to go to the bathroom. I didn't feel it going in or coming out, but the relief I felt with it was amazing. Really, I wasn't married to any idea of what childbirth would be like.

Yes.

That said all I was looking for was a healthy baby and to survive myself. I also wanted my second labour to be quicker than my first and it was (56 hours to 8).

I didn't with my first.

I chose an ELCS for my second so definitely got the birth I wanted.

I didn’t really have a plan with first dd (head firmly in sand!) but I look back on it fondly and it was very easy at just 2 and half hours from first pain to out with only gas and air (not much choice when you start pushing as soon as you get to hospital!). I think it was as good as I could have wished for.

Second dd was definitely not what I wanted as I had to have a 37 week c-section but really couldn’t care less 2 years on.

I think not having fixed ideas leads to fewer disappointed feelings.

Yes, first time round. Stand-alone MLU, just me, dh and lovely midwives who weren’t rushed off their feet attending to a dozen other labouring women. It fucking hurt, I hadn’t imagine I could feel pain like that and survive. But that didn’t make it a bad birth; on the contrary i felt supported and absolutely euphoric after that I’d managed it. For me, having a birth that was free from medical intervention as much as possible was important. Second time round was CS due to medical reasons. Was a perfectly ok experience, and not painful but not something I would have chosen. Though of course when the consultant said it was the best option for my very premature child I wasn’t going to argue

I had a had a healthy thriving baby by the the end of it all, and no epistiotomy (even if I did end up getting an emergency c-section), so pretty much.

*had a

Yep! Both of mine did. Home water births, 12 hours and 5 hours respectively start to finish, no pain relief but managed well with just breathing techniques and moving around. No tearing. I mean, it hurt like all hell during transition but was totally fine and manageable otherwise. Both babies born healthy and content.

If you mean our own births, well, no, as I had the cord round my neck and was a breech birth. And was late, which I have continued to be...

I didn’t OP but it didn’t matter because actually the second DS was in my arms it was all worth it and I would do it over again and again to get him.

Yes. Very lucky. 2 water births. Lovely.