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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what MN posters are like in real life...

189 replies

WillowPeach · 13/09/2018 12:45

I can’t help but see so many posters put others down to make themselves feel better. I had it harder, I’m better than you blah blah blah.

Are these people actually this vile in real life or is it all a keyboard warrior act?

OP posts:
Aspenfrost · 13/09/2018 13:32

montFleur

Oh dear. Does someone upset you every day!? Poor you.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 13:32

There was a mn survey and majority were grads,and mc
However I think there are embellishments on mn.lot of airbrushing
The my dp says...always make me laugh.it smacks of shut up woman A man has spoken

Aaaahfuck · 13/09/2018 13:33

I wonder this too as there are some awful comments on here. I wonder when I'm out in the world of lots of people are actually that horrible.

tobee · 13/09/2018 13:33

Yes. It's true. I'm vile in real life too.

Aspenfrost · 13/09/2018 13:35

occasion

StormcloakNord · 13/09/2018 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheBeatGoesOnandOn · 13/09/2018 13:36

It just shows you that you don't really know someone. Online people say what they really think because that person isn't in front of them so they don't have to deal with the negative reaction/social backlash.

I think the nasty people on here are probably either quite lonely or also have quite bitchy, critical friends but a few will be regular people.

FWIW there is more nice than nasty on here and some are more tough love than nasty (AF, for example).

Padparadscha · 13/09/2018 13:36

I have to be honest, every now and then I’ll come across a poster who owns several homes, has a six figure income, had saved several millions for their retirement by the time they were 25, but had no parental help and waited until they were totally financially secure to have children (which includes being able to afford a full time nanny and cleaner and ANY EVENTUALITY that life throws at them), who is totally incredulous that not everyone has taken these common sense measures, I do wonder if they’re actually sat in a grubby bed sit, surrounded by manky looking cats and chain drinking 25p energy drinks as they bash away at their keyboard smile

Ah, I miss Beanie, she hasn’t been around for ages now! I love her stories of being 21, with a young baby and already a millionaire with her husband who had taken early retirement at 30ish. She used to pop up asking for advice on how to spend her endless amount of money, before getting banned yet again.

Aspenfrost · 13/09/2018 13:37

She wants you to think that! I wonder if she has knowledge of bedsit life?

Aspenfrost · 13/09/2018 13:37

@storm

Lydiaatthebarre · 13/09/2018 13:38

There are a small number of posters on AIBU who really damage the image of mumsnet. They seem to think that became it's AIBU anything goes and they can be as rude, insulting and downright nasty as they like with impunity.

They are small in number but big in impact because their posts are so breathtakingly unpleasant and they seem to swarm around together on threads, taking over and turning innocuous debates into spitefests.

It does alarm me that most of these posters are probably bringing up children.

Aspenfrost · 13/09/2018 13:38

David Cameron...mmmmmm

Beautifulblue · 13/09/2018 13:38

@StormcloakNord 😂😂😂 that comment is going to of made her positively aghast Grin

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 13:39

I read the they’re only widdle for a short time posts and think are folk really that twee
Some seriously sparkly and gushy types posting about competitively giving things up
and only online do folk consider making memories to be a legitimate pursuit

paxillin · 13/09/2018 13:41

There are plenty of intelligent and helpful people but they tend to steer clear of AIBU and any boards with "feminist" in their titles.

Yes, intelligent women steer clear of feminism and keep busy with lighter matter Hmm.

Bluntness100 · 13/09/2018 13:45

Lol at montfleur, that was rather bitchy and judgemental, have you been bitten on Aibu by any chance and carrying a grudge?

I'm not sure of your point on short hair and tattoos. I've a firmly middle class friend who is lovely, with short hair and a couple of discreet tattoos, she's very pretty. And tends not to be vile, professionally successful. Gender conforming kids. Although I'm also not sure what that's got to do with it.

I assume mumsnet is a fair representation of society. Because many threads show it is ie Jobs, salaries, politics etc. Past that I don't think about it.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 13:47

It’s all v subjective of course. Nasty on mn can be as straightforward as a contrary view
Nasty on mn is not following the majority opinion or boden wearing herd
Or if you don’t give up work to have your kids velcroed to you 24-7 you’re a husk of a woman

Rufustheyawningreindeer · 13/09/2018 13:49

Well there seem to have been a few nasty comments from posters that obviously don't include themselves in the OPs vile category

I am nicer on here than i am in real life

I do have short hair and im pretty much a sahm...no tattoos (though dh has some)

ghostyslovesheets · 13/09/2018 13:49

Short-haired. - nope shoulder length

Tattooed. - nope

Parents of gothy children who are applauded at home for cheek to teachers. - nope children all typical of their peers - grand parents teachers so no cheek

Angry. - occasionally - usually by the shite I see at work (LAC)

Innate-gender deniers. nope

Divorced / married to men they see as one of the only few good ones. - I am divorced that is correct - should have stayed with the cheating cunt I guess but I have pride

Sometimes 'graduates' of lower-ranking ex-polys with degrees in social sciences. - Sheffield Uni (RG/RB) although my Masters is from an ex poly - ouch!

Aggrieved they've been overlooked for promotion. nope never really gone for promotion - enjoy my job too much

I think these people are probably vile in real life but less ballsy so tend to mutter to themselves or occasionally be passive-aggressive. - nope I am generally breezy and happy with a huge dose of assertive

I am also a feminist

HTH

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 13/09/2018 13:50

Montfleur is attracting a lot of ire and venom from folk claiming to be above such things
If that’s her opinion,challenge it by all means but the expansive character assassination isn’t necessary

easternedge · 13/09/2018 13:51

Paxillin the feminist boards here seem to me to be mostly anti trans and full of bile. I consider myself intelligent and a feminist and I absolutely would steer clear!

I think people are probably much nicer than they seem. I advanced searched somebody who seemed a bit of a cow today and actually the vast majority of her posts were just lovely!

birdsdestiny · 13/09/2018 13:52

Are we doing feminism wrong again? Grin I would love to know some of the women on fwr in real life.

easternedge · 13/09/2018 13:52

People are very quick to gang up on ops recently. Not nice.

Livinglavidal0ca · 13/09/2018 13:53

There's one poster on here who's always on the same threads as me (and is above) and I wonder what she's like in real life Grin my friends mum was going on about how much she loves zoflora the other day but I was too scared to ask if she was a mumsnetterGrin

Beautifulblue · 13/09/2018 13:54

Tbf @LipstickHandbagCoffee if she has come out with that to my face I would of told her to buggar off then too, in my defence Grin

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