To be sick of seeing this on EVERY mn thread

[beeefcake]

This is a particular problem for AIBU but it seems like no one can ask for a simple bit of advice without someone being purposefully negative and downright unhelpful.

I.e I could start a thread saying AIBU to think that celery is disgusting.

One of the first comments would be YABU because some people live under famine and would be grateful for a huge bowl of celery.

YANBU OP. I enjoy the ones about teenagers/young adult kids at home - they seem to vary from 'I left home aged 13 and worked 98 hours a week whilst doing A Levels and raising 12 DCs in a studio flat' to 'poor kid! How dare you make them contribute to the household, hope you're prepared for them to go NC as soon as they leave '

I have noticed that if the first response is a bit narky and unsympathetic,others seem to follow suit. Likewise,if the first response is helpful and sympathetic,so are the following ones. Is it a case of 'crowd mentality'?

@PersisFord

Kudos to you.

@GreatDuckCookery

I honestly think some people are actually frightened to disagree because of backlash they'll get.

I am not frightened to disagree OR frightened of any backlash.. Indeed I have disagreed quite a few times on here, and been called all manner of names - twat, cunt, unhinged, thick, uneducated, and far worse one that I won't repeat on here coz they were VERY offensive towards a certain sector of society.

@Courtney55

Saw this the other day. Someone trying to be professionally offended by the word "thick"... She then got told by several people that it was clearly in a context not to be offended by... So she sulked that I thought it was frowned upon on mn to say that.

Sorry but I am not with you on this one. Calling someone thick or dumb is fucking rude. It's a personal attack, and is not permitted on mumsnet. Just say 'I don't agree with you, and think your point of view is ridiculous.' Saying someone is thick is actually quite nasty. THICK means dull-witted, slow, and stupid. And DUMB means that you are a fool, you have low intellect, and you are dense and witless.

If you can't see that calling someone thick or dumb, purely for disagreeing with you, (or getting something wrong,) is BANG out of order, then there is no hope for you I'm afraid.

And it's not attention-seeking for someone to be offended at the word THICK being used to describe someone. It is very rude and obnoxious and childish to call someone this though.

@Alonghardwinter

Yep I have also noticed the mob mentality. It's weird, and quite nasty if it's aimed at you!

My mother is like this in real life! Pre eclampsia? Some people don't have legs, all you've got is swollen feet, seriously, get on with it.
Tired? Some people have to walk 20 miles through a war zone with their mother in law strapped to their back to get to work and even then they don't complain. Etc.
I wouldn't mind but she's an Oscar worthy hypochondriac herself!

@itllbealrightipromise

I enjoy the ones about teenagers/young adult kids at home - they seem to vary from 'I left home aged 13 and worked 98 hours a week whilst doing A Levels and raising 12 DCs in a studio flat' to 'poor kid! How dare you make them contribute to the household, hope you're prepared for them to go NC as soon as they leave.

LOL!

Don't forget they walked 75 miles to work every day (and then back again!) in 6 feet of snow, with shoes with holes in them, after their 14 hour shift!

And the 'How can you possibly NOT invite everybody you share the barest scrap of DNA with to Christmas dinner even though you live in a one bedroom flat on the 35th floor, only own two chairs and cook on a single ring camping stove? Borrow chairs from your neighbours you Scrooge! I hope your children go no contact the second they are weaned'.

Nellyelora memories of the manky potty thread come flooding back, some of the replies on there were unbelievable.

I hate it when you post about something and people PM you for more info. One they have it, even after several more messages, they never reply to any message asking how they got on.

Actually, she wasn't calling someone thick or dumb. She made a tongue in cheek remark about (I think Prince Harry, but don't quote me on it) saying he must be a thickie because.... (again I don't remember the specifics) but it was obviously a take the piss light hearted joke.

Cue “vile language“... “how very dare you "..." oh won't SOMEBODY think of the children" 🙄

Thankfully several others nipped it successfully in the bud.

Here's a GRIP, OP
oooo, havent seen a grip in ages!
It all reminds me of old fashioned parents (hello dsis ex mil) If the kids complained about anything they had , it was "well, you should be grateful that you have xxxxx, there are poor children in the 3rd world who have never seen a xxxxx. When I was a girl there weren't even xxxxx, how would you manage then?" (Followed by a good old hoick of the bosoms)

Sort of in reverse, what always amuses me is where an OP will ask AIBU and every single poster will say yes! The OP then drip feeds but.... but .... and still all posts are saying YABU. Then suddenly a lone voice will appear saying YANBU and you then get 2 or 3 what I call OP defenders who all pile in saying she is perfectly reasonable, no matter how ludicrous.

By this time the OP has either flounced and you just know MNHQ will close the thread for too much RL info (which is in 99.9% of cases totally absurd) or if the OP is still hanging on, with the arrival of the first defender, throws herself at the mercy of this one poster, like a drowning man finding something on which to cling, thus justifying (she thinks) ignoring the other 99.9% of posts

OP makes a slightly funny typo or comment ('snapped and farted' is the one I'm thinking of) and the thread descends into everyone saying how hilarious it is and how they have tears and have woken their DH/DC/entire neighbourhood by laughing.

It's then brought up for months is completely unrelated posts.

@slashlover yes! When everyone finds it totally hilarious & I'm just like meh... must just be me that doesn't think it's that funny.

Top tip!! Peel your celery with a veg peeler. Takes most of the strings away.

My absolute pet hate. Someone very innocently (and you can tell this by the context so bloody clearly) the word "thick" or "dumb", because they are perfectly standard words, and someone has to jump in and hang on to that word and derail the thread.

Ah yes; I do love it when people feel obliged to pick apart a particular term, used in the most incongruous way possible (and usually accompanied by the obligatory face). The one that got me recently was when the OP was describing how she felt one of the girls at work was bullying her, but that she felt helpless because it was the boss’s daughter-in-law. The first poster was a desperate bandwagon-jumper who completely ignored the contents of the OP’s post, but proceeded to pick her to bits for using the term ‘girls’. Thankfully most people told her to pull her head in, but she kept popping up desperately trying to assert that this was putting feminism back 50 years (whereas apparently bullying other women in the workplace is fine).

OP makes a slightly funny typo or comment ('snapped and farted' is the one I'm thinking of) and the thread descends into everyone saying how hilarious it is and how they have tears and have woken their DH/DC/entire neighbourhood by laughing

I thought I was the only person who didn't launch my cup of tea over the dog laughing at this

I also get irked by people saying 'I think you mean WOMAN don't you, NOT GIRL?!' when someone says 'girl' in a sentence, and as has been said they completely ignore the rest of the post! Even when the OP is asking for help and advice, and is quite distressed.

A girl is a female child, or a relatively young woman. So I would think nothing of calling a female under 30 a GIRL.

Also never saw the humour in 'snapped and farted' and think it's ridiculous when I see someone saying 'I spat my tea out all over the keyboard, ha ha LOL LOL!'

Also get fucked off with people calling anyone who does something that they class as slightly irrational as 'unhinged.' So incredibly nasty.

Snapped and farted wasn't even funny. Then came all the names derived from snapped and farted. It pisses me off when stuff like that happens as no actual advice ever gets given, it all gets derailed by some 'hilarious' joke.

There is a brilliant thread running about this OP. I have decided on every thread where a poster does what you are talking about, it is my mission to go on and declare them fun sponges. I've done it a few times recently.

Fucking fun sponges. Go suck up the joy elsewhere.

Then came all the names derived from snapped and farted

This was the worst part. I don't see them around much now though?

YY to 'girls'. I wonder if they berate their husband when they say they're 'going out with the lads'.

'Surely you mean you are partaking of refreshment with your gentlemen acquaintances?'

I hope that celery didn't go to an ex-poly.

If you post on AIBUnasking for opinions you are going to get them, a myriad of them. And those opinions are shaped by their life experiences which may differ vastly from the OPs. Its one of the risks of posting in the first place!

Just don’t ever mention getting a dog.

If anyone posted just a simple ‘AIBU to get a dog?’
It would be like Pompeii all over a Mumsnet. The burning lava would kill the whole fucking lot of us.