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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be miffed that my "friend" refuses to call me by my name

158 replies

boterbier · 12/09/2018 22:24

Disclaimer: I've got a fairly common, easy-to-pronounce name so it isn't a case of this individual being incapable of saying it or anything like that.

As it goes, said "friend" thinks my name is too feminine for me (bloody ridiculous) and has resorted to calling me either by my last name (weird) or a portmanteau of my first/last name (even weirder especially seeing as how this new creation is homophonous with my ex's name).

Told her to cut it out multiple times and all I get is a smug "trust me this suits you way better you'll see"!

AIB petty or is she being a soggy nugget?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2018 03:25

But op is not happy, and has told the friend, the friend is still insisting that she does not like op name, and will call her something else, very rude.

penisbeakers · 13/09/2018 03:46

She's being a twat.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 13/09/2018 04:06

We've got a guy like this at work, new to the team who has decided we all need nicknames. It should go in the top 10 ways of how NOT to ingratiate yourself into a new team. Utter twat.

LellyMcKelly · 13/09/2018 04:32

Tell her since making up names for each other was a thing you’ve decided to call her Arsegrapes. It does really suit her so much better. Trust me. 😁

NewUserNameTime · 13/09/2018 04:43

Weird and rude!

How long have you been friends? Has this always been an issue? I would end the friendship regardless of how often you bump into her

marylou1977 · 13/09/2018 04:57

I give you permission to christen her Fuckface McCunty and you may start calling her that now.

toomuchtooold · 13/09/2018 05:09

@ReanimatedSGB that's that Chris Brookmyre book, isn't it? What one is it again, A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away? I love that book too!

TheDowagerCuntess · 13/09/2018 05:17

Me and my friends seem to have a nickname for everyone, all meant in good humour, no malice at all

And....?

Juells · 13/09/2018 05:26

You ABU to use 'crunchy pasta' to describe someone. Makes me wonder if you don't want to call the friend a fucking arsehole because it can't be used in a newspaper.

JacNaylor · 13/09/2018 06:26

She sounds like an absolute idiot, who does that?? I'd be very cool with her, don't view her as a friend and don't respond to anything except your name. I'd also keep replying with "I find that really rude" and turning away.
Don't start calling her odd names too, that'll give her permission to carry on.

PrueDent · 13/09/2018 06:46

Start calling her Ermintrude, or Buttercup, or AberdeenAngus. Because, you know, if we're going with names that better suit us...

trulybadlydeeply · 13/09/2018 06:55

Why do you have to see this person so often? Do you work together? If so, raise it formally if she persists.

If it is a social setting or friendship group, can't you get the others you meet with to reinforce to her that it is inappropriate and upsetting?

itswinetime · 13/09/2018 06:57

Is call her arsehole till she stops behaving like one! Suits her better you see! Grin

luckylavender · 13/09/2018 06:59

I wouldn't play her games. I'd freeze her out actually. Bloody rude.

JungWan · 13/09/2018 07:03

I agree with SGB,
Give her an old lady name that isn't cool yet (except maybe on mumsnet) like Maureen.

When you won't stop calling her Maureen or Brenda she''ll admit defeat.

Anastassiabeaverhausen · 13/09/2018 07:09

Scrotum neck 😂😂😂😂

TheCakeCrusader · 13/09/2018 07:11

She’s not a friend and she obviously gets some kind of personal kick seeing you get uncomfortable! Is this at work or at a social activity? Either way, I’d want to distance myself as much as possible from this person.

Holidayshopping · 13/09/2018 07:13

Why do you see her so often? She is not your friend!

TheCakeCrusader · 13/09/2018 07:13

Otherwise, I like Scrotum neck too as her new name! Grin

Doilooklikeatourist · 13/09/2018 07:17

She’s being an idiot
I’d just tell her one more time that
My name is boterbier , please call me by my name
Then , if she continues to call you by madeup name just reply
Boterbier , each time
Or just don’t take any notice of the disrespectful fool

cantfindname · 13/09/2018 07:18

Much as I totally adored my partner this was his biggest fault. Everyone one, including animals, had their name changed, even if he had originally chosen the name himself! His daughter was given the most inappropriate name, as was his son. His son used to scream back at him 'My name is ***' but he thought it was funny.

I now have the most confused cat in the world who will run to anyone calling anything in case it is him being called but who rarely answers to his given name! To make it worse he was a rescue cat and no one knew his proper name so I spent ages teaching him the name we gave him only for it to be changed (again!)

I suppose it was only to be expected as his parents never called him by his given name and in the early stages of our being together I had a phone call asking for * and the caller became quite belligerent when I said I knew no one of that name, to the stage I hung up on him. Turned out it was partner's Dad trying to get hold of him! From then on he very sarcastically called him by the correct name when speaking to me!

I think I attract people like this as my ex used to shorten people's names. For example Isabella became Izzy... which she hated, but no matter how many times he was told 'Shorten it to Bell, if you must' he carried on until she refused to talk to me if he was around. He would even lengthen a name such as Mark to Marko. Bonkers.

thethoughtfox · 13/09/2018 07:19

She's not your friend

WerewolfNumber1 · 13/09/2018 07:20

@ReanimatedSGB I read that book years ago but can’t femember the title/author, could you tell me please?

Topseyt · 13/09/2018 07:28

Stop bothering to respond to her at all unless she uses your proper name. And stop seeing her 4 or 5 times a week, unless you have to work with her.

Even if you do work with her, tell her that you will only respond to your proper name.

Stop referring to her as a friend. She isn't.

ahnow · 13/09/2018 07:42

Clearly her new name needs to be either 'the Donald' or Boris.... depending on which ignorant buffoon she's more like!

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