To be miffed that my "friend" refuses to call me by my name

[boterbier]

Disclaimer: I've got a fairly common, easy-to-pronounce name so it isn't a case of this individual being incapable of saying it or anything like that.

As it goes, said "friend" thinks my name is too feminine for me (bloody ridiculous) and has resorted to calling me either by my last name (weird) or a portmanteau of my first/last name (even weirder especially seeing as how this new creation is homophonous with my ex's name).

Told her to cut it out multiple times and all I get is a smug "trust me this suits you way better you'll see"!

AIB petty or is she being a soggy nugget?

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

‘ soggy nugget’?

[ReanimatedSGB]

One of my favourite books features a character who does exactly this, and it's described in the scenes portraying this person as a young man: he gives all his 'friends' new names and insists that the name he has chosen for each person suits them better than their actual names.
He's a narcissistic, sociopathic gangster, though charismatic, and the protagonist realises that this name-changing business is a demonstration of how utterly selfish the name-changer is.

Your colleague probably isn't an international assassin-for-hire, but she is an arrogant, spiteful bully. I agree with PP, pick a name for her and use it all the time (not Cuntface or anything that could be percieved as an abusive term, no matter how tempting - choose one that's either really unfashionable or is associated with the type of person she would hate to be taken for. If she's 'cool', call her Doris; if she's a social climber or a snob, call her Sharon. And do it with a bright smile, and tell her that she's not the only one who can choose new names for people...

[SpoonBlender]

Don't just use one name, use a different one every time you would say her name. Bonus points if you manage two in one sentence.

[stiffstink]

Just call her Scrotum-Neck or something equally as feminine because her actual name doesn’t quite suit.

[Haworthia]

Tell this frenemy to fuck off. Talk about treating you with contempt

[BitOfFun]

Have you changed your name?

[HelenUrth]

"My name is important to me. The fact that you won't use it is disrespectful. I am asking you to use my name in future. Can you agree to this or will I leave now?"

If you get a response along the lines of Lighten up! Your name really doesn't suit you at all I know better what you should be called.

Say something like "You can call me what you like in your mind. When you address me, my name is Boterbier. Are we clear on this or do I need to leave now?" (Then you need to leave if she doesn't agree!)

You need to make it more uncomfortable for her to call you by her stupid "pet" name than to call you by your real name. Then she'll stop.
People like that piss me off so much.

[callkiki]

I'd start calling her Sura as your feel it suits her more and stands for....Stick up your ass
or some other appropriate new name for her.

[toxic44]

It's a training/control issue, like making a dog recognise its name and come when you call. Do you need this? Refuse to play the game.

[Pebblespony]

People who are rude to you and then tell you to lighten up when you pull them up on it are not your friends. They are toxic and self absorbed. They try to put all the responsibility on you. Do yourself a favour and end this so-called friendship.

[butterflysugarbaby]

Can you give us an example of what you mean?

But yeah she is rude.

[butterflysugarbaby]

I mean an example of the name, and how she is changing it.

[PixieCutRegret]

What a weirdo! Honestly I would be ditching her completely, she sounds unhinged.

[Storminateapot]

I'd just tell her you've decided she best suits another name. I hesitate to suggest but any takers for Beryl or Edna?

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

This all sounds very upper/middle to me! Where everyone is known by Jinks, Tonks,Champs, Dodo, Jiggy, Ziggy and Boffo.
All very Air Force “come you chaps! Don’t you know there’s a bloody war on!?”

[CringeFace]

Are you prepared to lose her as a friend if she doesn't listen? You need to be assertive "I've told you before not to call me that" if she tries to brush you off again then hold eye contact and say "do you realise how rude that is, MY name is not up for debate or discussion please call me

[CringeFace]

..boterbier"

crap I posted too soon

[MiddleClassProblem]

Aintnothingbutaheartache yeah because no working class people call others by nicknames or surnames

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

Not to same level middle! That’s all Baz, Boz, Daz etc😂

[GooodMythicalMorning]

I have this too. It drives me nuts.

[BitOfFun]

And, more specifically, have you changed your gender? I'm just wondering if this post is intended to 'trip up' anybody here.

[LoveAGoodChat]

Every time she refers to you by not your actual name, respond by calling her something equally offensive/irritating...I'm sure if we all put our heads together we can come up with something good for you to use....and when she tells YOU to stop it, point out it suits her much better, and that you will only stop when she does

[Aeroflotgirl]

Stop being friends with her, she is plain rude and disrespectful.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Aintnothingbutaheartache London we had a lot of surnames and nicknames, particularly I playing sport.

[Aintnothingbutaheartache]

Me and my friends seem to have a nickname for everyone, all meant in good humour, no malice at all