To be miffed that my "friend" refuses to call me by my name

[boterbier]

Disclaimer: I've got a fairly common, easy-to-pronounce name so it isn't a case of this individual being incapable of saying it or anything like that.

As it goes, said "friend" thinks my name is too feminine for me (bloody ridiculous) and has resorted to calling me either by my last name (weird) or a portmanteau of my first/last name (even weirder especially seeing as how this new creation is homophonous with my ex's name).

Told her to cut it out multiple times and all I get is a smug "trust me this suits you way better you'll see"!

AIB petty or is she being a soggy nugget?

I would hate that too! After I married a friend continued to call me by my former last name. I hated it but didn’t have the guts to say anything.

Call her droopy Suzy and when she asks why tell her she looks like a droopy Suzy and she suits the name beautifully.

What a prat. She has actually crossed a line between banter and bullying. Tell her to her face she is a bully and should try growing up.

She sounds awful

If the quiet, firm, civil approach doesn't work (and it may not do, if this woman is too much of a self-obsessed bully to see sense) then give yourself permission to be rude back to her. Refer to her, to her face and at all times as 'Rude Bitch.' And make it clear that this is the name that suits her, because she's made such a big deal out of changing your name.

I tend to give people a couple of chances to stop annoying me, but if they persist, when it's been made very clear to them that they need to stop, then they can just take the consequences.

Fuck no, ignore her everyone she says it. If someone else’s is there say “sorry my name is x”. You won’t chase a rift/issue and you never want to be friends with her so don’t engage.

Next time she goes with the 'lighten up' crap I think I'd go with:
You seem to have got me mixed up with, "hernameforyou", I'm "realname" and I DO give a shit, "somesuitablesubstituteforHername."

Just call her Kevin every time she calls you by the incorrect name

Karen would you like a drink
Yes thanks Kevin I’ll have a coffee

Karen, love your new yoga pants
Thanks Kev

Karen, why are you calling me Kevin
I think it suits you better Kevin, makes me think of the 118 118 twins

Stop calling me Kevin, Karen!
But it suits your inner soul

Your friends will soon start finding it amusing and laughing everyone you do it. They might actually jump in the band wagon too if you keep it lighthearted, and then hopefully she’ll stop

I would end the friendship,I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who was that rude and controlling.
She knows your name but wants to be a bitch to you. No thanks theres better people out there.

Not a friend I think ? Have no dealings with her for a coupe of months and then see ...

I'd be going back at her. Rename her the most inappropriate and appealing name and insist you use that as her name doesn't suit her anymore. Something like Fanny Longlegs or Ginger Moosh and call her it at the top of your voice wherever you are. If you get stares just calmly turn round and say to people. "Please don't stare, that's her real name, she likes it, that's all that matter" and see how long before she tires of it

This is actually quite disturbing and controlling. This is how dangerous people operate. Slave owners used to give slaves a name of their own choosing to prove ownership and control and to destroy the slaves’ sense of identity so that they could not even own their own name.

At best it is bullying. At worst it is extremely sinister. This person is to be avoided at all costs.

Call her Soggy Nugget, because it really suits her.

Call her Richard because she’s being a dick.

Richard is good. She's not your friend.

Don't hang out with her on your own and when she calls you the wrong name in front of the group, just say "that's not my name", if she says "but this one suits you better etc", just say calmly over her "that's your opinion, but my name is still boterbier. It really doesn't matter if you think it suits me or not."

Yeah. I think you should not be around her at all. She is a weirdo.

Tell her you'll tell your mum over her since your mum named you .

She is happy to disrespect you in this way , I'd say she's not a true friend !

I would correct her gently every time with a simple “It’s xxx”. Let her have her rant about it not suiting you or whatever, don’t engage with this but change the subject to the weather or another boring or polite conversation ( Grey rock technique) and next time repeat “It’s xxx”. Do it nicely but persist.

If it is a class you should ideally do it in front of others because that will really put a spanner in the works for her as everyone will see her for the twat she is and she will know it too.

The Chris Brookmyre book is excellent - it's one of my favourites.

It's damn rude and I would retaliate by saying something like 'you know, you're right, not everyone suits their given name. For instance you look like a Fuckbucket (or other rude random name) to me - so henceforth that's what I shall call you.' See how she likes that.

Ooh! This could be the perfect opportunity to bring out 'Princess Consuela Bananahammock'

Or 'Crap Bag'

😂

In all fairness boterbier she may just find your name calling of "crunchy pasta" and "soggy nugget" equally as offensive as she identifies more with "soft whelk"or "lumpy milk" or the more endearing and accurate pet name of "offensive c**t" ...