Domestic Violence - did you witness any towards your mother?

[CityFarmer]

Just that really, did you witness your mum (or dad) getting hurt as a child? What's your opinion of both your parents now?
It's got to the stage I can't protect my kids from seeing it. I suspect my eldest has seen more than I've thought I've protected him from, certainly heard arguments.

Despite the split lips, stitches, bruises, fear. His numerous online relationships.
I think this will be what breaks me.
I'm not in love with him, a few months ago I explained I wanted to stop all this, I'd not cry if he left or we divorced, there's no love left for him. Yet here I am, stuck.

Before anyone suggests to LTB. I, and many domestic violence sufferers now this already, but still stuck.

I'm stuck because I'm too embarassed to say the words out loud that I need help.
I think soon I'll have to tell the police, or his family or mine. As soon as I do, there's no going back, it will all end. But the words stick in my throat. I can't get them out. I can't protect myself, but I want to save my kids from this.

My priority is to shield the kids. I have no one IRL to ask this Q. did you witness your mum (or dad) getting hurt as a child? What's your opinion of both your parents now?

I am a mother free from DV for 5 years. My kids witnessed not only the violence but my low moods. I thought I hid it all well but now they are teenagers and have anger and trust issues that was how I found out they knew exactly what was going on. As well as trying to hide the abuse I tried to compensate for it by being overly motherly and nothing was ever too much trouble for them. Leaving was the best thing I ever did I have a much better relationship with my kids now although it has been difficult re-establishing mother/child relationships. Think of your children and make the best decision for yourself and them

Mini-update: took 6 hours last week to give my statement. Covered over a decade of info. Even after 6hours there's twice as much that could be added. Took Even longer for the PC to type it all up before and after. So was called next day so it could be read back, but had to stop him cos couldn't listen to it. Have a date to read printed version & sign. Waivering on the signing bit, not sure what happens if I don't though. Just because it's alot to process all at once, maybe. After so long of it happening.

The best thing I did was posting, practicing saying the words out loud.

Kids are doing well, they always have tho.
One was described as the happiest in class during parent-teacher evening.

Even though the whole thing makes my stomach churn.
I know this was the correct step.

Yes, terrified the life out of me and am NC with both them now.

Sorry to say I did, lots of DV and drunken rows.
I didn’t have much of a relationship with my father before he died and I have minimal contact with my mother. I don’t forgive her for not making myself or my brother and sister their priority.
I know that seems black and white but I now suffer from mental health issues, lack self esteem and my hyper vigilance causes anxiety.
I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s the honest truth

Forgot to say that going NC was something I chose to do after having my own children. I struggled to understand how they both do the things they did with children present in the home.

OP from a slightly difffernent perspective. My ex was abusive and I left him when DS was very young.

Ex was very aggressive and intimidation towards me in front of DS during exchange for contact and (it transpired) would use his contact time to manipulate him against me. I stopped contact and got my DS counselling. He has transformed and is a much happier and confident child (less than 10).

You may not think it’s affecting your children now. But it is.

Redfall....
Brilliant well done. Your children will thank you one day.

I heard, and i saw.and i intervened multiple times. I have no relationship with my step father. Sadly she went on to another abuser who attacked by sibling, i had to pull him off. (Mum does not know this as it would break her)
Shes happy and single now. I learnt young the character traits to avoid in men. My dh knows my past and he tries not to raise his voice. Children are always aware.