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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave Gym cafe lounge for breastfeeding ?!

560 replies

Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:16

I was at the gyms lounge / cafe as we’d been for a family swim. Big mainstream private gym. DH was with me.

Baby needed a feed but there were lots of people on all the sofas, which are next to main entrance, so I went to a back bit where there were lots of empty sofas and only one lady sitting texting.
I fed baby with my back to the wall, under a blanket thing and DH was opposite me. Baby was super quiet. No crying , no squeaking, nothing.

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’. DH said no as the baby was being quiet and surely sign didn’t apply. Man insisted so DH told him to get staff to settle the matter. Man came back with a bloke who worked there and the staffer apologised but said we had to leave as it was adults only. I said it was ridiculous and clearly because I was breastfeeding. I pointed out that the baby was literally silent. The staffer said he appreciated I probably had wanted privacy but I couldn’t sit there.

The other seating area was a)full of people and I would have had to share a sofa to feed my baby and b) next to main entrance so in full view and I feel a bit self conscious there.

The ‘adults only’ area is right at the back so very quiet and discreet.

We left .

AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
LaurieMarlow · 09/09/2018 22:37

Why does a gym have an adults only seating area?

Was there an equivalent child friendly seating area? If so, I'd have moved over there.

WeWantJustice · 09/09/2018 22:37

Just cancel the membership and tell them why.

You don't have to give them your money.

RiverTam · 09/09/2018 22:37

But why did they need to show compassion? There was an area where the OP could have fed her baby, she chose not to use it.

SecretlyChartreuse · 09/09/2018 22:37

If I know the gym correctly, it’s just like a third of seats assigned adults only, not even round a corner.

Of course you should have breastfed there, the area is to keep away from kids running around. You should raise this with management and seek a clarification. They will want, as a family company, to keep you onside.

Original poster
Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:37

I’m not looking for rule immunity (or daily mail fame - wtf)
There were at least 4 other sofas in the area the guy could have sat on , the baby was quiet and the other area was full.
Feeding my baby when I have to bump elbows with a bloke on a sofa next to me, with loads of people passing through, would make me too self conscious. Sorry if others would not be, but faced with that versus a quiet, disused area when baby is totally quiet , really?

OP posts:
moreofaslummythanyummy · 09/09/2018 22:38

YABU. Totally misleading title, it had nothing to do with breast feeding. Why do some people think that the rules don't apply to them!

AllesAusLiebe · 09/09/2018 22:38

OP, why do you think that the rules apply to everyone else except you?

I also am a member of a private gym and would elect to sit in an adults only section, likewise whenever dh and I find a babysitter for the evening, we’ll sit in the over 18s section of the pub. Why should everyone else have to accommodate you? What makes you more important?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 09/09/2018 22:38

A baby asleep in the carrycot is still a baby in the adults only area but is quiet and asleep and less likely to cry without enough warning to move away.

A baby feeding may be silent in that moment but then may cry, then babble, then the parent just sits and plays with them etc etc

So no he probably wouldn’t have (though would’ve been in his right to)

Sallygoroundthemoon · 09/09/2018 22:38

YWBU. It's an adult's area. You were being entitled thinking the rules didn't apply to you just because you had a baby. The breastfeeding is a red herring.

delilahswishes · 09/09/2018 22:38

I can't understand why they need an adult only zone in a gym but can only imagine it's so noisy running around children aren't disturbing other patrons

Well as others have stated, if it is a simple "no children" rule, regardless of whether that's a baby, toddler, child or teenager it is a lot easier to keep.

I find babies a lot more disruptive than say a 6+ year old, they change in an instant and parents get a bit precious over their own so can't see how they are disturbing others.

Original poster
Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:38

Thank you SecretlyChartreuse

OP posts:
IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 09/09/2018 22:39

I’m quite looking forward to the DM inevitably picking this up...

Thecrabbypatty · 09/09/2018 22:40

Notveryadventurousname don't be ridiculous. In that case having a driving age limit, sexual consent age, drinking age, home ownership and mortgage minimum age, legal marriage age, old age care homes, senior living facilities, oap deals, free bus passes, winter fuel allowance, and pensions are all discriminatory.

QueenOlives · 09/09/2018 22:40

It's one of those AIBU threads where almost all replies say you are being U but OP won't have it.

I am hugely pro breastfeeding but this is utter bollocks. You are just fucked off at being called out on your entitled behaviour.

TrashPanda · 09/09/2018 22:40

Stories like this piss me off. I breastfeed anywhere, if baby is hungry I'm feeding him. You were not asked to move because you were feeding but because you took a child into an area explicitly reserved for adults. Nonsense like this makes it harder for other feeding mothers as people who don't like it latch onto stories like this to show how unreasonable and entitled people who breastfeed are.

ButchyRestingFace · 09/09/2018 22:41

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’.

In what way was he “weird”?

lexer · 09/09/2018 22:41

"A weird man" really! Another breast feeding woman feeling entitled to push boundaries and make a fuss. You are not doing any favours to other women with babies. I too imagine you've thought about your article in the Daily Mail. YABVVU

Zfactorstar · 09/09/2018 22:41

Ahh, one of those AIBU where the response is almost all YBU but that was clearly not what you wanted to hear so you thank the few defending you. Why even bother?

AllesAusLiebe · 09/09/2018 22:42

LaurieMarlow they shouldn’t need an adults only section, it’s a Gym ffs.

GreenMeerkat · 09/09/2018 22:43

The ballad of MN's AIBU section:

OP: here's my story, AIBU?
Everybody: Yes
Op: no I'm not

Ad Infinitum....

Sparklingbrook · 09/09/2018 22:43

YY the Daily Mail will be all over this. Grin Or maybe This Morning/Loose Women?

PurpleDaisies · 09/09/2018 22:43

they shouldn’t need an adults only section, it’s a Gym ffs

They’ve chosen to put one in. Clearly there is some demand for it. Clearly people are using it.

Sweetpotatoaddict · 09/09/2018 22:44

Yabu, baby in adults only. Rules are rules. And if you are referring to a David Lloyd, the one I attend is massively supportive of breastfeeding mothers.

IamPickleRick · 09/09/2018 22:44

I also bf in the car plenty.

And I agree wholeheartedly with Notveryadventurousname on the age restrictions.

ethelfleda · 09/09/2018 22:44

Misleading title. You were not asked to move for breastfeeding. Please don’t make out this is the case as it puts other mothers off even trying - and makes women more self conscious.
I say that as a mother of a 10 month old who I bf pretty much anywhere.

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