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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave Gym cafe lounge for breastfeeding ?!

560 replies

Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:16

I was at the gyms lounge / cafe as we’d been for a family swim. Big mainstream private gym. DH was with me.

Baby needed a feed but there were lots of people on all the sofas, which are next to main entrance, so I went to a back bit where there were lots of empty sofas and only one lady sitting texting.
I fed baby with my back to the wall, under a blanket thing and DH was opposite me. Baby was super quiet. No crying , no squeaking, nothing.

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’. DH said no as the baby was being quiet and surely sign didn’t apply. Man insisted so DH told him to get staff to settle the matter. Man came back with a bloke who worked there and the staffer apologised but said we had to leave as it was adults only. I said it was ridiculous and clearly because I was breastfeeding. I pointed out that the baby was literally silent. The staffer said he appreciated I probably had wanted privacy but I couldn’t sit there.

The other seating area was a)full of people and I would have had to share a sofa to feed my baby and b) next to main entrance so in full view and I feel a bit self conscious there.

The ‘adults only’ area is right at the back so very quiet and discreet.

We left .

AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
Fluffiest · 09/09/2018 22:27

YABU you weren't asked to not breastfeed in the gym, you were asked not to have your baby in the adult only area.

Thecrabbypatty · 09/09/2018 22:27

Adults only area. Nothing to do with breastfeeding. Rules don't stop applying because you are breastfeeding. YABU.

Sandstormbrewing · 09/09/2018 22:27

I really do believe you should be able to breastfeed wherever, but this one has NOTHING to do with breastfeeding. You had a child in an adults only area. What the child was doing is irrelevant. YABU.

ItsAllAJoke · 09/09/2018 22:28

YWBU, adults only means just that.

AmazingGrace16 · 09/09/2018 22:28

Yanbu at all.
Their behaviour was disgusting and I'm shocked reading some of the comments on here. I can't understand why they need an adult only zone in a gym but can only imagine it's so noisy running around children aren't disturbing other patrons.
I would be asking them why they have an adult only area and what purpose they are trying to achieve with it and then go from there.
If you were sat there with the baby asleep would you have been asked to move?! Doubt it.

Urbanbeetler · 09/09/2018 22:28

I still think they could have been a bit more understanding and let you finish feeding.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 09/09/2018 22:30

Have you prepared your Daily Mail sad face ready for when you take this Anti Breastfeeding Hmm story to them?!

mouthkisses · 09/09/2018 22:30

The breastfeeding isn't irrelevant. Who the fuck asks a breastfeeding mother to move? The staff member was in a crappy position but the man was an arsehole and YANBU.

SpanGransNo1Fan · 09/09/2018 22:31

Its only a bf issue if you were trying to bf someone who was allowed to be there. It’s an adults only area therefore no children (of any age) bf issue is a red herring. If the sign had said ‘no under 18s’ would that have been clearer to you?

user139328237 · 09/09/2018 22:31

You can't breastfeed in a casino, betting shop or nightclub either. Adults only means just that

AmazingGrace16 · 09/09/2018 22:31

I absolutely disagree to all the other posters. They could've used their discression, they could've asked you to move once you were finished and they could've asked you to do it somewhere else next time. They showed zero compassion.

EskiVodkaCranberry · 09/09/2018 22:32

I agree with urban, it would have been kinder and more diplomatic seeing as you're a paying customer, to give you time. Then kick you over to the next bit and bring you a complimentary cup of tea- that would be a nice gesture to show you a bit of support and the blokes happy he gets his silent sofa Brew

AlevelConfusion · 09/09/2018 22:32

Sorry, agree with most of the others, yabu this has nothing to do with breastfeeding.

GreenMeerkat · 09/09/2018 22:33

@mouthkisses and what if she was bottle feeding? Still be outraged had he asked her to move? Doubt it.

Baby was in an adults only area. End of story.

mumtomaxwell · 09/09/2018 22:33

Breastfeeding doesn’t make you immune to all rules. You’re not special or different because you have a baby attached to your breast. The gym has a clear rule and the OP broke it.

Original poster
Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:33

Thank you AmazingGrace16!

OP posts:
MrMeSeeks · 09/09/2018 22:34

You were not asked to leave for breastfeeding Hmm
It’s an adult only area, it doesn't matter if your child was quiet at that time, what happened if it started crying?
It’s adults only for a reason, people don’t want to be bothered by kids, running around or their noise.
Dont try to spin this as ‘we were told to leave because i was breast feeding’ because that simply isn’t true.
You were Asked to leave because you shouldn't have been there.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 09/09/2018 22:34

It was an adult only area.

Doesn’t matter if it was a breastfeeding mother, bottle feeding dad or kfc feeding great aunt. There’s no children in the adults only area. There was space in the other part but the OP didn’t want to sit there.

Emma765 · 09/09/2018 22:34

Would the man have taken the time to complain and then complain to staff if baby was asleep in a carseat? Obviously can't be sure but I suspect not.

AlevelConfusion · 09/09/2018 22:35

But if they'd let OP in with her baby then how long before others are in the 'adults only' area with their babies and buggies etc?

Notveryadventurousname · 09/09/2018 22:36

I don't understand why 'adults only' areas are legal (except for some bar areas etc which is to do with the alcohol licence). Surely they are discriminatory on the grounds of age. Imagine the uproar if the area had been labelled 'under 50's' only!

Sandstormbrewing · 09/09/2018 22:36

mouthkisses she's breastfeeding not quadraplegic! Why can't see move. I used to walk around the supermarket and get on and off the train whilst feeding. A breastfeeding mother isn't an immovable object!

Gileswithachainsaw · 09/09/2018 22:36

Adults only means adults only. Diesnt matter whether they are asleep or feeding or standing on tables frankly. No kids means no kids.

pinkdelight · 09/09/2018 22:36

Don't see the problem with bf in a car. I did it plenty of times. Mind you I'd also have done in while sharing a sofa in the non-adults-only area you describe. You seem quite self-conscious, which seems to be the issue rather than the bf per se. It has nothing to do with the baby being quiet. Would a 12yo be allowed there if they were quiet? Of course not. Might as well accept yabu.

MrMeSeeks · 09/09/2018 22:36

Their behaviour was disgusting and I'm shocked reading some of the comments on here. I can't understand why they need an adult only zone in a gym but can only imagine it's so noisy running around children aren't disturbing other patrons.
I would be asking them why they have an adult only area and what purpose they are trying to achieve with it and then go from there.
Because some people may not want to be bothered by kids?