Asked to leave Gym cafe lounge for breastfeeding ?!

[Arewereallyhere]

I was at the gyms lounge / cafe as we’d been for a family swim. Big mainstream private gym. DH was with me.

Baby needed a feed but there were lots of people on all the sofas, which are next to main entrance, so I went to a back bit where there were lots of empty sofas and only one lady sitting texting.
I fed baby with my back to the wall, under a blanket thing and DH was opposite me. Baby was super quiet. No crying , no squeaking, nothing.

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’. DH said no as the baby was being quiet and surely sign didn’t apply. Man insisted so DH told him to get staff to settle the matter. Man came back with a bloke who worked there and the staffer apologised but said we had to leave as it was adults only. I said it was ridiculous and clearly because I was breastfeeding. I pointed out that the baby was literally silent. The staffer said he appreciated I probably had wanted privacy but I couldn’t sit there.

The other seating area was a)full of people and I would have had to share a sofa to feed my baby and b) next to main entrance so in full view and I feel a bit self conscious there.

The ‘adults only’ area is right at the back so very quiet and discreet.

We left .

AIBU or are they?

I'm a man, and so's my wife.

I'm a man identifying as a female Apache helicopter. My opinions still count! Thwup thwup thwup thwup

As a DL member currently breastfeeding I would be really pissed off if they change their adults only area.

OP sounds like two passengers I saw recently thrown out of First Class.

The Standard Class seat reservations were offline so these two people thought they would rock up in First Class for a seat. They were thrown out two times I was told by the train guard. There were seats in Standard but they thought they would chance their arm in First.

I resign. I think you are all men

The kid attached to my boob and the vagina it came out of says otherwise, as do the other 3 sleeping in their bedrooms.

The mens changing rooms at the gym are quieter at the time my children go swimming, I'll go in and feed the baby there. It's fine isn't it? As I can go wherever I want with my breast in my baby's mouth? Yeah? Same principle. One of my husbands nightclubs, shall I go sit down and breastfeed our child mid Friday night?

No of course not to either of those as its inappropriate and not acceptable. I'm (and my child) not a man, and, my child is not allowed in her father's adult only nightclubs so same as plonking your arse down and feeding in and Adult Only area. Its quite simply... Adults Only. Put your breast away and move or be normal and don't sit their with a child.

If you don't understand this then there really is no hope for you. People breastfeed, it doesn't make you special, its pretty common and very non interesting. Breastfeed in the lovely family area.

On the plus side we've joined a DL club for the adult only areas.

I highly doubt adult only spaces were designed for people dealing with infertility or bereavement.

It doesn't matter what they were designed for, and no one needs to justify a reason for having them. Guess what? Some people just don't feel the need to be around children all of the time. There are only a handful of places that children aren't allowed to be, so get the hell over it and use one of the billions of other places you are allowed to be. You might think that your fecundity is a miracle and your child the coming of the next Messiah, but other people don't give a shit.

I highly doubt adult only spaces were designed for people dealing with infertility or bereavement

No, of course not. Infertile people are expected to usually just suck it up, however sometimes it is nice not to have to pretend and to sit somewhere where you can relax because you know you're not going to see a child. If that makes us entitled and selfish, then tough.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh

Just wanted to say that you're completely right and, I can't find the right way to word this, I'm very sorry for and struggles or pain you have had with infertility. I think as adults we need to create more spaces for people without children, going through these horrible issues or even just because.

I hope that wasn't badly worded. I had 2 miscarriages and seeing small children or babies shortly after would have really upset me. I was lucky to have a dc at the time though and go on to have more. We need to be more sensitive to other adults needs not just mothers and children.

hayles no, it was fine, thank you. I also appreciate that parents need some time away from children as well. If you're a SAHM who spends 24/7 with your children, then you need a child free space sometimes as much as anyone. For whatever reason, sometimes, some people want to be in an adult only environment. There are masses upon masses of child friendly places in this world, why do some parents begrudge adults their own space, where children aren't allowed.

Leighhalfpennysthigh

I'm so glad it didn't offend you. I'm awful with words! I completely agree with everything you've said.