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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave Gym cafe lounge for breastfeeding ?!

560 replies

Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:16

I was at the gyms lounge / cafe as we’d been for a family swim. Big mainstream private gym. DH was with me.

Baby needed a feed but there were lots of people on all the sofas, which are next to main entrance, so I went to a back bit where there were lots of empty sofas and only one lady sitting texting.
I fed baby with my back to the wall, under a blanket thing and DH was opposite me. Baby was super quiet. No crying , no squeaking, nothing.

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’. DH said no as the baby was being quiet and surely sign didn’t apply. Man insisted so DH told him to get staff to settle the matter. Man came back with a bloke who worked there and the staffer apologised but said we had to leave as it was adults only. I said it was ridiculous and clearly because I was breastfeeding. I pointed out that the baby was literally silent. The staffer said he appreciated I probably had wanted privacy but I couldn’t sit there.

The other seating area was a)full of people and I would have had to share a sofa to feed my baby and b) next to main entrance so in full view and I feel a bit self conscious there.

The ‘adults only’ area is right at the back so very quiet and discreet.

We left .

AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:21

Im not saying she shouldn't move. Just not mid feed. Give the poor woman some privacy and dignity. Far more important than a sign and themz the ruelz so, yes ,if the entire thinks contrary then so be it. People used to think the world was flat, after all

LostInShoebiz · 10/09/2018 20:22

Now that would be appropriate for an adults only area...

LostInShoebiz · 10/09/2018 20:22

Stripping off I mean.

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:24

@themuttsnutts answer me this, what about if the mother was bottle feeding?

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:26

It's less personal, isn't it but Im still not sure if asking her to get up is the right thing to do. You still haven't answered mine

Ontheboardwalk · 10/09/2018 20:28

For a time for my mental health I avoided family areas and went to adult only areas for a reason.

Sorry OP YABU plenty of places for you to sit. Not like you had to stand up or in the rain to breast feed.

Your right to breast feed in an area that was adults only doesn’t beat any reasons why people have chosen and paid for an adult only area

Who knows, you don’t, why the poor 'weird' man didn’t want to be around children

Momo27 · 10/09/2018 20:30

I could stand up and walk across a room while I was breastfeeding
I win.

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:30

@themuttsnutts so it's about the mother and not the feeding baby?

Breastfeeding mothers are soooooooo much more entitled than those bottle feeding mothers!

You're way out of line!

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:31

So could i but not sure Id have wanted to.

Haven't the schools started back?

CiderBrains · 10/09/2018 20:32

My sister is the kind of person who doesn't want to be around children. Her choice and most of the time she doesn't have a choice. But if she had to sit in an area with was for adults only with a woman breastfeeding she would have every right to complain. 99% of the time she doesn't have that right but on this occasion she would. Not everyone is impressed that a woman can breastfeed, most don't care, yet some women think they are god or something!

AssignedNorthernAtBirth · 10/09/2018 20:32

You need to stop inventing things about OP having been asked to stop feeding themuttsnuts. She wasn't, and some women can bf while walking, particularly if they have a sling. Plus as I explained upthread, if she had been asked to stop rather than simply move, that actually would be illegal. So it's an important distinction.

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:32

@themuttsnutts answered your what??? I've answered you!!

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:32

And you still haven't answered my question

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:34

*@themuttsnutts *
*So could i but not sure Id have wanted to.

Haven't the schools started back?*

Why are they also breastfed?

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:34

@themuttsnutts what the fuck is your question???

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:35

No you haven't.

I breastfed both. I just fed them and minded my own. Couldn't care less whst pther people did. If anything, I found some formula feeders unnecessarily paranoid, thinking people judging them when they were not

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:36

Is it right to ask a woman to get up in the middle of feeding with her breast out? If you think that, she was right to be asked to move

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:36

@themuttsnutts WHAT IS YOUR QUESTION THAT IVE NOT ANSWERED?

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:37

See my last post

Momo27 · 10/09/2018 20:38

So to summarise: about 95% on this thread have understood equalities legislation, and explained how this woman was not discriminated against. They have also calmly and rationally pointed out why for many people, the adult only areas are extremely important, a ‘safe’ area.

The small minority who side with the OP have accused the 95% of being trolls, they’ve hysterically invented stuff which the OP didn’t even say, and got into a right old daily mail froth.

Says it all

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:38

Ill give you a tip. The clue is the question mark

CiderBrains · 10/09/2018 20:40

Wouldn't be surprised if this did make the DM tbh!

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:40

@themuttsnutts see my post 28 mins ago that answers that! Like OP you can't read or refuse to read and want ignore what's said!!

FFS if you're going to accuse people of not answering at least have right on your side!!

And bottle feeding mothers are not paranoid they're just pissed of that breast feeding mums can't read and understand.

myrtleWilson · 10/09/2018 20:40

Whizz Bang answered that question up thread OP

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:42

@themuttsnutts and I'll give you a clue the answer is there for you to see! Does breastfeeding make you blind?

It didn't me but clearly has you and OP!