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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Asked to leave Gym cafe lounge for breastfeeding ?!

560 replies

Arewereallyhere · 09/09/2018 22:16

I was at the gyms lounge / cafe as we’d been for a family swim. Big mainstream private gym. DH was with me.

Baby needed a feed but there were lots of people on all the sofas, which are next to main entrance, so I went to a back bit where there were lots of empty sofas and only one lady sitting texting.
I fed baby with my back to the wall, under a blanket thing and DH was opposite me. Baby was super quiet. No crying , no squeaking, nothing.

A weird man came up to us and asked us to leave as there was an ‘adults only sign’. DH said no as the baby was being quiet and surely sign didn’t apply. Man insisted so DH told him to get staff to settle the matter. Man came back with a bloke who worked there and the staffer apologised but said we had to leave as it was adults only. I said it was ridiculous and clearly because I was breastfeeding. I pointed out that the baby was literally silent. The staffer said he appreciated I probably had wanted privacy but I couldn’t sit there.

The other seating area was a)full of people and I would have had to share a sofa to feed my baby and b) next to main entrance so in full view and I feel a bit self conscious there.

The ‘adults only’ area is right at the back so very quiet and discreet.

We left .

AIBU or are they?

OP posts:
themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 19:44

It depends on who you think is right

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 19:45

If ever there's a case of jobsworth this is it. No customer likes a jobsworth. Nor do staff for that matter

rainbowsandsmiles · 10/09/2018 19:47

Breastfeeding doesn’t have to turn a woman into an entitled idiot.

You'd think Grin

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 19:47

Di you really really think it's ok to ask someone to jump up mid feed with her breasts out?

TheDowagerCuntess · 10/09/2018 19:48

themuttsnutts - did you breastfeed?

I did, exclusively for 6 months, and then for a year-plus apiece with two DC (which meant I often had to find somewhere suitable to do it when out and about).

Not once did I actively make a decision to do it somewhere inappropriate, or somewhere I wasn't meant to be.

Did you?

AssignedNorthernAtBirth · 10/09/2018 19:53

The customer who's in the right isn't the one whos decided they're too special for adult only areas to apply to their child.

Now none of this is to say the employee couldn't possibly have used her discretion to prioritise the person who thinks a baby counts as an adult. That may well have been an option, although you never know how much discretion individual employees have. She just wasn't BU not to.

And I'd like to agree soupdragon, but then I remember the Cedar Falls fiasco, which was even more ridiculous than this, and I realise some people actually are like this.

SoupDragon · 10/09/2018 19:54

No customer likes a jobsworth.

The man clearly did.

Momo27 · 10/09/2018 19:57

There’s clearly people on here who work in customer facing roles who have shit customer service skills. If you’re unable to politely enforce sensible rules, you shouldn’t be in the job.

MagnaDoodle · 10/09/2018 20:02

Haha what ridiculous nonsense is this.

See you in a years time when you’re writing threads on here about the naughty older children in the under-2s bit in the soft play.

“There’s a siiiiign”

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:06

Answer my question. Is it or isn't it reasonable to ask a woman to pull her baby off her breasts, redress herself so she can sit in the correct area?

TheDowagerCuntess · 10/09/2018 20:07

You know, I was the gym staff member, I would absolutely hate having to go up to a breastfeeding woman, mid-feed, and ask her to move.

But do you know who I'd be annoyed at?

The breastfeeding woman, for putting me in that position.

There's a whole gym. If the entrance way was busy, then find somewhere else to feed.

NicoAndTheNiners · 10/09/2018 20:08

Well I’ve just come back from David Lloyd where there was a kid who was clearly primary age in the gym using the equipment. Can’t remember how old they have to be, but it’s like 12 or 14 and he was blatantly about 8yo. Wasn’t with a PT which I know they can be at weekends.

I reported him on the way out and I hope he was kicked out and I’m not sorry.

CiderBrains · 10/09/2018 20:09

"Breastfeeding doesn’t have to turn a woman into an entitled idiot."

It does turn some people into "look at meeeeeee!!! I can breastfeeeed!! All applaud me pleeeeease!!!"

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:09

That's part of the job. I have had customers ask me to tell people to stop their baby crying before!

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:10

@themuttsnutts no it's not unreasonable, she put herself in that position! So as my kids say.....own it!

NicoAndTheNiners · 10/09/2018 20:11

Answer my question. Is it or isn't it reasonable to ask a woman to pull her baby off her breasts, redress herself so she can sit in the correct area?

Yes it’s very reasonable when she’s been the one stupid enough to put herself in that position. If there hadn’t been a sign and the woman hadn’t realised maybe not. But a clear sign which you choose to disregard then you take the consequences. And babies are perfectly capable of coping with a two minute break, they may not be happy but it won’t kill them and they’ll soon stop complaining when the feed resumes. Also a lot of women are capable of standing up and moving while continuing the feed.

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:13

I will have to agree to disagree

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:16

@CiderBrains that's a great post! 👍

delilahswishes · 10/09/2018 20:17

Di you really really think it's ok to ask someone to jump up mid feed with her breasts out?

Bit dramatic, I breastfed for 2 years, twice over and not once was I sat with both breasts out, you either pull down a strap, or lift up a top it takes seconds to access and seconds to put away. She was hardly sat there topless. It is no different or harder than it would be to ask a mother bottle feeding to move, or a mum that had got a sandwich out for a toddler.

themuttsnutts · 10/09/2018 20:17

It was shit

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:18

@themuttsnutts agree to disagree with everyone? You're like OP AIBU, 500 yes you are, ok I'll ignore that and say the two posts that say I'm not are right!

WizzbangWallopWot · 10/09/2018 20:19

@themuttsnutts redress?!?!?! PMSL does OP strip naked to BF?

Aspenfrost · 10/09/2018 20:20

Lollol

Sandstormbrewing · 10/09/2018 20:21

Answer my question. Is it or isn't it reasonable to ask a woman to pull her baby off her breasts, redress herself so she can sit in the correct area?

You realise that actually they didn't ask her to do that though right? She could have moved whilst breastfeeding. A baby attached to your boobs doesn't render your legs useless.

Aspenfrost · 10/09/2018 20:21

What was shit?