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AIBU?

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Original poster

To find a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl creepy?

462 replies

NatVoll · 07/09/2018 08:03

I am aware of the fact that "this is none of my business and yada yada", but come on!

Family friend, aged 49, just announced he has a new girlfriend. She is 19. I am horrified, but my sister thinks there is nothing weird about it.

AIBU to think that a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl is absolutely creepy?

OP posts:
stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:35

Ok, I am sure not all of them are naive. But I stand my by opinions of the late 40+ year olds shagging teenagers/very young adults

Great. You're entitled to your opinions. As I'm entitled to mine Smile

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:37

So will you
Nah mate. I'll be either widowed or in a relationship with someone my own age.
Not getting off on the bodies of people barely out of childhood.
HTH

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:37

Funny so many of us of the same opinion...or not

Do you know what? There will be plenty of women like me. But many won't stand up to the shit that they'd get on here. And why should they? I can. So I will!

Northernparent68 · 07/09/2018 18:38

Leave them to it

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:39

Nah mate. I'll be either widowed or in a relationship with someone my own age.

I have nothing against you but please .... I'm not your 'mate'.

And no, everything you've said on here has been of no help whatsoever.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:39

Yeah, unfortunately there are a lot of creepy people shagging teenagers in their late 40s. That doesn't make it right.

Cherrygardenst · 07/09/2018 18:39

I was perfectly capable of making my own informed decisions at the age of 19. What do people think, that all 19 year olds still live at home with their mum or something.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:41

Yeah, unfortunately there are a lot of creepy people shagging teenagers in their late 40s. That doesn't make it right.

I'm not in my late 40s so .... you can relax Smile

Cherrygardenst · 07/09/2018 18:41

Not getting off on the bodies of people barely out of childhood

What is the difference between the body of a 19 year old woman and a 27 year old woman? They are both adult-looking bodies so I don't see how it's pervy at all.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:42

A PP said, she was married with a child at 19. Why would you ever think it acceptable to refer to her as a naive child?

Queenofmyownheart · 07/09/2018 18:43

I had two kids and my own home at 19 😂 there's a lot of judgemental comments on this thread. I think as long as both parties are happy, content and consenting then who are we to judge? If it's a fleeting relationship or marriage material they are happy together and what does it matter? My partner is 20 years older than me, we got together when I was mid twenties. And I can honestly say I've never been happier, I like older men because they are responsible, and have a sense of reliability, and faithfulness because I think they see past a lot of the shallow aesthetics that a lot of people my own age seem to judge future partners on.

I definitely would be so incredibly incensed if anyone were to describe my other half as a creep or pervy purely because of his age.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:44

I was perfectly capable of making my own informed decisions at the age of 19. What do people think, that all 19 year olds still live at home with their mum or something.

Well, the majority do, or they are at Uni. I don't know many 19 year olds who have their own place. Not in this day and age anyway.

Whether or not they are capable of making their own decisions does not make the middle aged men/women who want to shag them not creepy.

I made a lot of decisions at the age of 19 that I look back on now and think WTF was I thinking. I was capable of making decisions but didn't always have the maturity to make wise ones. Oh that's right, according to some people a lot of 19 year olds are super mature and on the same maturity level as a 49 year old.

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:45

The fact she had a child makes her more vulnerable.
Creep.

TooMuchPenis · 07/09/2018 18:46

Actually my feelings are summed up by the nob earlier on talking about 19 years olds being "more open minded" in the bedroom. Women don't become less open minded about perfectly ordinary things they already do in the bedroom. They just learn to not be pressured in to things they didn't want in the first place.

And you are judging her as much as you're judging him - that she must be weak, vulnerable, and unable to make her own decisions for her own reasons.

Guess you just didn't read the lnik regarding teenage brains? Nothign to do with female brains, it's young brains.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:47

A PP said, she was married with a child at 19. Why would you ever think it acceptable to refer to her as a naive child?

I was married with a child at 18. I was much more naive at 18 than I am at 37. That is pretty normal.

I took it back that every 19 year old who is in a relationship with a much older man is naive a few posts back.

TooMuchPenis · 07/09/2018 18:47

I was a 19 year old in a foreign country on her own, supporting myself the whole lot.

still wouldn't have been able to hold my own in a relationship with a 50 year old.

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:47

19 year olds re only seen as 'mature' because society deems women responsible for the sexual behaviour of men no matter what their age.
Any man or woman in their 40s considering a sexual relationship with someone that age is sick imo

Cherrygardenst · 07/09/2018 18:48

Well, the majority do, or they are at Uni. I don't know many 19 year olds who have their own place. Not in this day and age anyway.

Well, I was renting my own place with my boyfriend at that age, baby at 20. Not some "naive child" who can't possibly date an older man without being exploited.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed · 07/09/2018 18:49

a 49 year old has little in common with a 19 year old

attraction yes but a relationship no its all one sided

yes it is creepy

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:49

Anyway, it's been stimulating. Hope you all have great weekends.

We're just gonna have to differ. I respect your lifestyle choices.

Be happy.

LongPinkBanana · 07/09/2018 18:49

*Yeah, unfortunately there are a lot of creepy people shagging teenagers in their late 40s. That doesn't make it right
*
Doesn't make it "wrong" either.

A 19 year old adult is old enough to constent - legally & morally.

Therefore, how can it be "wrong"? It's not.

I also think nonsense about "grooming" upthread is deeply inappropriate and diminishes actual incidences of grooming Hmm

Cherrygardenst · 07/09/2018 18:49

still wouldn't have been able to hold my own in a relationship with a 50 year old.

Why not? What is so big and scary about an older man?

whycantwegoonasthree · 07/09/2018 18:50

Unfortunately people's reactions to relationships they don't understand or wouldn't choose for themselves always seems to be to deem them wrong or weird or creepy or gross.

Not that long ago that was the reaction of most people to same sex relationships.

Well done for keeping your composure Stevie in the face of some astonishing rudeness.

Most of the 19 year olds I know are a lot more mature than a lot of the posters appear to be if you ask me.

Cherrygardenst · 07/09/2018 18:50

attraction yes but a relationship no its all one sided

I'm sorry but you have no way of knowing that. How is it one-sided if they both love and support eachother?

pumpkinspicetime · 07/09/2018 18:50

queen you should spend more time on the relationship board if you think that as a group middle aged men are more responsible, reliable and faithful, looking past shallow aesthetics!
Of course some are going to be but I wouldn't say it was the industry standard.

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