Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl creepy?

462 replies

NatVoll · 07/09/2018 08:03

I am aware of the fact that "this is none of my business and yada yada", but come on!

Family friend, aged 49, just announced he has a new girlfriend. She is 19. I am horrified, but my sister thinks there is nothing weird about it.

AIBU to think that a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl is absolutely creepy?

OP posts:
stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:19

So as I thought, creepy.

You are entitled to your opinion. I still disagree.

I'm not you. I don't see what you see!

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:20

Older pervy men were ten a penny when I was younger, picking off the vulnerable ones who were desperate to be nurtured.

Yep.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:20

Like I said, IME it is a power thing or they simply can't get someone their own age so have to go for the more naive young ones

It's NOT a power thing. It's a simple attraction thing.

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:21

If you can't see that Stevie then I doubt anyone here can help you Confused

Elementtree · 07/09/2018 18:21

I think it seems creepy and needy to shack up with a youngster even if it only to temporarily to consume their youth to massage your own aging ego.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:22

If you can't see that Stevie then I doubt anyone here can help you

How patronising. Where did I suggest that I needed help?

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:22

It's NOT a power thing. It's a simple attraction thing
The pattern kind of says something about you there...

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:23

I'm not you. I don't see what you see!

Well you wouldn't, would you?

You have to justify your choices to shag your young looking 'not weathered by life' not long left school teenagers.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:23

I think it seems creepy and needy to shack up with a youngster even if it only to temporarily to consume their youth to massage your own aging ego.

So you've said. I heard you the first time.

I've never 'shacked up' with anyone. I live on my own.

DownstairsMixUp · 07/09/2018 18:23

Ew I'm 30 and wouldn't date someone that age either gross

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:24

You have to justify your choices to shag your young looking 'not weathered by life' not long left school teenagers.

No, I really don't have to justify it at all. It's you who thinks I should.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:24

I think it seems creepy and needy to shack up with a youngster even if it only to temporarily to consume their youth to massage your own aging ego.

It is just grim and a bit desperate.

JacquesHammer · 07/09/2018 18:25

so have to go for the more naive young ones

I wasn’t naive. I was an adult who enjoyed the company of a man I was attracted to. No coercion. No control. Mutual respect. Seems a pretty decent relationship to me. In fact more respectful than several I’ve had with men my own age.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:25

The pattern kind of says something about you there...

And what exactly does it say about me? Apart from the fact that there's nowt wrong with my vision?

sanssherif · 07/09/2018 18:25

No you don't have to justify it because you have normalised your own perversion.
Most people on here are disgusted in you.
Never mind, not like you're bothered, since there are more tight bodies out there to sexually take advantage of.
Eventually you will be too elderly to care, and be sat alone perving on your carers.
Rank.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:26

No, I really don't have to justify it at all. It's you who thinks I should.

Well, you sure made this thread about you. So looks like you are trying to justify it to me.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:26

so have to go for the more naive young ones

None of my younger guys came across as naive. I'm NOT playing a power game.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:28

Well, you sure made this thread about you. So looks like you are trying to justify it to me.

It's not about me. It's about every woman who doesn't want to conform to the generally accepted ideal. Which often turn out to be very far from ideal: just take a trip over to Relationships

Rebecca36 · 07/09/2018 18:29

U2HasTheEdge
Yes, you could hardly move for an older man to come out of the woodwork when I was young too. Difference is - the man the OP talks about (creep) talks about his 19 year old girlfriend, generally they didn't actually want a proper girlfriend in the fullest sense of the word.

If it wasn't the UK in 2018, I wonder if we would feel differently?
I really don't know.

choli · 07/09/2018 18:30

And what exactly does it say about me? Apart from the fact that there's nowt wrong with my vision?

It also says you are probably having a lot more fun than the poster who asked you that questionWink

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:30

No you don't have to justify it because you have normalised your own perversion
Most people on here are disgusted in you.
Never mind, not like you're bothered, since there are more tight bodies out there to sexually take advantage of.
Eventually you will be too elderly to care, and be sat alone perving on your carers.
Rank.

I am NOT perverted
I don't care what most people on here think
I do NOT take advantage of people
So will you.
Your opinion.

pumpkinspicetime · 07/09/2018 18:31

I would be pretty horrified if that was my dd in a few years time, not least because I would have hoped I would have taught her a bit more about the misuse of power and control and relationships and how to spot it. It is very hard not to make the assumption that there are serious emtional difficulties being exploited here. In real life the only significant age gap relationship has signficant emtional difficulties on both sides.

stevie69 · 07/09/2018 18:32

It also says you are probably having a lot more fun than the poster who asked you that question

Thank you. My life is good as I expect is the same for a lot of you. I'm not sure why I'm attracting this vitriol.

Sallystyle · 07/09/2018 18:33

Ok, I am sure not all of them are naive. But I stand my by opinions of the late 40+ year olds shagging teenagers/very young adults.

The man I knew who went with a teenager certainly did so because she was naive and couldn't see through his arsehole ways. It happens a lot.

KERALA1 · 07/09/2018 18:34

Funny so many of us of the same opinion...or not

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread