To find a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl creepy?

[NatVoll]

I am aware of the fact that "this is none of my business and yada yada", but come on!

Family friend, aged 49, just announced he has a new girlfriend. She is 19. I am horrified, but my sister thinks there is nothing weird about it.

AIBU to think that a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl is absolutely creepy?

We are saying what most people are thinking

Well, it's a good job that we're not all inclined to do the same. Do you generally go around approaching random strangers giving them your up to the minute opinions? Thought not! But give you a keyboard and watch you go

Nobody was personally slinging names at you Stevie. We are answering the OP. And we probably wouldn't say what we feel in rl either - but I would take some convincing that it wasn't an exploitative relationship.

Why in the name of all that's holy do you feel that you have the right to sling names at me? Just why?

Well, I haven't slung any names at you? In fact, I hadn't even read the full thread or any of your posts.

“it's not too hard to convince myself that it's OK.”

Surprising, that. Not!

Sleazy behaviour.

If the cap fits... I'm assuming you are the older party? You mention relationships plural - you've had more than one relationship with a much younger man/woman, barely out of childhood? Why is that?

Yes, I'm the older party. Yes, more than one 'relationship' (if you'd call them that). Why? Because we both wanted to: consenting adults, see?

What's your relationship status. And why?

I'd say it in real life to anyone I knew-pervy old man or 19 year old alike.

I think even with best intentions men this age going for young women are selfish, sex obsessed and cruel for wasting the best years of someone's life knowing they will be too elderly to provide a good future

Neither of us were under any illusion that it would be a long term thing. Not all relationships have to be thought of in terms of long term viability

Sleazy behaviour.

Your opinion. You're allowed one. I think differently. Tis what makes the world interesting

Yes, I'm the older party. Yes, more than one 'relationship' (if you'd call them that). Why? Because we both wanted to: consenting adults, see
Ugh.
The concept of consent is based on age and experience. I would go so far as to say the younger people you have been with probably greatly regret it over time.
Unlike the older party, who see it as a value judgement of their character, physical appearance and sexual behaviour.

I think even with best intentions men this age going for young women are selfish, sex obsessed and cruel for wasting the best years of someone's life knowing they will be too elderly to provide a good future

I never planned a future with any of my 'partners' (can't think of a better word at the minute); they never planned one with me either.

stevie why can't you have a relationship with someone your own age? What is it about young people you prefer?

I would also say it IRL if asked for my opinion. A 19 and 49 year old is disgusting and no matter how many people come on to share their massive age gaps, ill never be convinced it is anything other than predatory at worst, or they are just not capable of finding anyone their own age at best.

I would go so far as to say the younger people you have been with probably greatly regret it over time

Oh, I bet you they don't!

Oh, I bet you they don't!

Yuck!

stevie why can't you have a relationship with someone your own age? What is it about young people you prefer?

What is it about young men that I prefer? They look nice, they smell nice; they're not weathered by the world. It's kinda obvious.

I could look for a relationship with a guy my age but ... (1) Why should I — just to please a bunch of anonymous strangers? (2) Men my age seem to be looking for something permanent: I like my liaisons to be fleeting.

Yes, both are consenting adults, so it's legal. But there's no obligation to believe that the situation isn't grim.

Older pervy men were ten a penny when I was younger, picking off the vulnerable ones who were desperate to be nurtured.

I think that vampiric is pretty close to the mark.

Yuck

Older pervy men

I'm not a man. Does it make any difference at all?????

You're really turning the stereotype on it's head, aren't you Stevie?

No, but I wasn't hit on by older women. That was my experience of older men, which is what the op was refering to inparticular.

I think even with best intentions men this age going for young women are selfish, sex obsessed and cruel for wasting the best years of someone's life knowing they will be too elderly to provide a good future

You could make similar arguments about people who have conditions that they know reduce their life expectancy.

Anyway, would it make a difference if the older/younger pair just become fuckbuddies. Just two people having no strings attached sex for a while?

You're really turning the stereotype on it's head, aren't you Stevie?

Is that really a bad thing?

I'm just not cut out for the long term. To quote the lyrics of a song that was on my playlist earlier:

For a no good bum like me
To live is to be free

Maybe I am a 'no good bum' then. But I'm a nice woman and definitely not 'odd', 'creepy' or 'predatory'.

What is it about young men that I prefer? They look nice, they smell nice; they're not weathered by the world. It's kinda obvious.

I could look for a relationship with a guy my age but ... (1) Why should I — just to please a bunch of anonymous strangers? (2) Men my age seem to be looking for something permanent: I like my liaisons to be fleeting.

So as I thought, creepy.

How you look at a 19 year old and think he is attractive enough to sleep with I will never understand. I just look at them and think they are young enough to be my child or his friends.

Anyway, would it make a difference if the older/younger pair just become fuckbuddies. Just two people having no strings attached sex for a while?

Exactly the type of thing I do. What's the problem, really?

I'm just not cut out for the long term.

I am sure there are plenty of older men out there happy to have a few shags and nothing more.

Like I said, IME it is a power thing or they simply can't get someone their own age so have to go for the more naive young ones.