To find a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl creepy?

[NatVoll]

I am aware of the fact that "this is none of my business and yada yada", but come on!

Family friend, aged 49, just announced he has a new girlfriend. She is 19. I am horrified, but my sister thinks there is nothing weird about it.

AIBU to think that a 49 yo man dating a 19 yo girl is absolutely creepy?

Batteriesallgone your experience sounds awful, and i'm sorry you experienced it.

That said, I don't think your experience is typical or even common in relationships with age gaps, and most of the most judgemental responses aren't from people who have been through what you have.

They're just people being horrible about people they know nothing about based on their own prejudices.

I would not agree with a 21 year old man and a 53 year old woman either, though I suspect there would be less condemnation.

Good job that I don't give a flying f**k what you think then, isn't it?

I would not judge the 19 year old in the slightest. I'd be saving all that for the 49 year old.

It's nasty.

Yep I’d judge away.
Half your age + 7 (or take away 7 then double it).

Anything outside this is a bit icky

Old
because one is only just put of childhood
The other a predator

Yep, my judgement is for the older guy aswell, not the 19 year old. It's understandable and basic pop psychology to see why many young women would be attracted to older men.
It's the exploitative much, much older men who should know better.

Yep I’d judge away.
Half your age + 7 (or take away 7 then double it).
Anything outside this is a bit icky

What an absolute load of old bollocks. Read that in a Christmas cracker, did you?

Vampiric. Urgh don't miss all those 30/40 something married men slavering away and hitting on me and my friends when we were young and gorgeous. At the time I thought it was weird and pathetic. I don't know any parent that would smile indulgently as their 19 year old dd headed out with a 50 year old. Ewww! If that makes me a "bad person" I can live with that

Da both adults but wildly different stages of adulthood

Stevie69 do you need a nice cup of tea? You seem very cross.

It is disgusting and I never want to be open minded enough to think it is acceptable.

I have a 19 year old and he would have very little in common with an almost 50 year old. It's either a power/abusive thing, or the man thinks he has won a prize to have a teen 'on his arm', or he is just extremely immature. If not that, then the only person they can get is a young person who can't see through their shit. That goes for both sexes.

There is no way an emotionally healthy 49 year old would want to be in a relationship with someone who is barely out of childhood.

I can't believe anyone would excuse it. Unless you have been in that situation yourself and have to convince yourself it is ok.

One of my friends, when not much older was in a relationship with a man significantly older than her. She was 23 and he was 48, two years older than her father. They were together a long time and only broke up because they wanted different things for the future. It took her a long time to get over it.

My niece is mature, but aged 12. She recently went abroad and there were grown men letching at her on the beach.
Similarly, I knew a 20 year old friend who was a care assistant, she looked about 12.
The old men LOVED HER, always asked for her to wash them etc. I think a lot of men are attracted to very young looking females.

Despite it being different times of adulthood there is no reason why a relationship can’t be healthy and happy for its lifespan.

Stevie69 do you need a nice cup of tea? You seem very cross.

Got a coffee, ta. Of course I'm cross. It has been implied by many that I'm 'odd', creepy' and 'predatory' — to name but a few of the insults — by virtue of my chosen relationships with other consenting adults.

Wouldn't you be cross?

We are saying what most people are thinking

BTW I would love to meet all these super mature 19 year olds. Sure, some people are more mature than others, but at 19 with limited life experience (it is still limited even if you have gone through tough times) you are still worlds apart from a healthy 49 year old.

I am 37 and look at my 19 year old's friends as very young and I have yet to meet one who I think is mature enough to date a middled-aged man. They are still obviously teenage, very young adult.

I can't believe anyone would excuse it. Unless you have been in that situation yourself and have to convince yourself it is ok.

Nail. Head. But, it's not too hard to convince myself that it's OK. I'm dealing with adults who are not in any way, shape or form connected with me; not my pupils, students, clients or anything like that. It's perfectly OK.

Why in the name of all that's holy do you feel that you have the right to sling names at me? Just why?

If the cap fits... I'm assuming you are the older party? You mention relationships plural - you've had more than one relationship with a much younger man/woman, barely out of childhood? Why is that?

I can't believe anyone would excuse it. Unless you have been in that situation yourself and have to convince yourself it is ok

I have. It was a very positive relationship for us both. Ended amicably and we remained great friends until a year or so ago, which was 15 years since we’d been together.

If it were my daughter I'd be FUMING that some old perv who's been around the block enough times to write a map, was taking the best part of her body, years and experiences.
I know life isn't perfect but at least give the girl a chance at meeting someone her own age who she can have children with etc.
I think even with best intentions men this age going for young women are selfish, sex obsessed and cruel for wasting the best years of someone's life knowing they will be too elderly to provide a good future.
Absolutely out of order.
I would never consider taking the best years of a 20 year old lad, even if I was more attracted to him than any other man.
It just smacks of self entitlement and disregard for anything other than one's sexual gratification.
Find someone your own age. Leave the kids alone.