Why do parents of year 7 children do this?

[GuavaPalava]

So my DS has started secondary school this week. Prior to starting, we of course had parents evening, literature, uniform rules - it was made very clear what was acceptable and what wasn't

I was added to a 'new starters in year 7' FB group for my area a few months back and it's been used to ask the usual questions you may expect - apart from this week. It's all kicked off with the following ..

A parent in a fury as in day 1 she received a call saying her son's hair was not acceptable. Cue obligatory pic and he's got a half shaved head and tramlines

Another parent going mad as he DD had pink hair over the summer which she 'bleached out apart from the back' - she can't believe she's been told it needs to be sorted

And another moaning because she received a call about her DD wearing make up

All saying what you'd expect - it doesn't have any bearing on their ability to learn. And yeah, they're right - I get that

But why would you do this? You know the guidelines as a parent and they're very clear . AIBU to say that, knowing these rules, it's your child you immediately single out in a new school by sending him/her in with tram lines hair, pink hair and make up?

bright as you knew all your points had already been made and discussed why did you "have to" post then? The "preparing them for the world of work" and "alleviate competitive dressing" arguments are often put forward but, as multiple posters have discussed, they are not self evident truths but simply theories which can be discredited.

Countries without state school uniforms have thriving economics, and adults as capable of working in a disciplined fashion as children who have been through uniformed school systems.

All colleges at Oxbridge (in DS's case Cambridge) still require a gown. The gown has to be worn at formal halls of which there are between 2/3 per term. The rules have been relaxed so they don't have to wear their gowns for exams. I have just bought DS's. It cost £80. If Primark ever got around to doing them it would cost £5. Just another way in which low-income students are made to feel like shit if you ask me, but no-one did so I just obeyed the rules and bought the gown.

If schools were given a budget for uniforms and then told they had the option of spending the money however they liked - I would be very surprised if any school thought uniform was worth it

Dc’s school provide all new starters with one uniform pack. Trousers(or skirt), 2 shirts, blazer, tie, and pe kit. Out of the school budget.

It’s a well thought of outstanding school.

people pay taxes
BINGO!
well close enough. It's essentially ' but I pay your wages through tax' to which my reply is then technically I pay my own wages through the tax i pay.

I’m all for uniform! A few years ago I collected my stepson from school (he was 15) and was met by a sight I had only before seen out clubbing... young girls wearing see through crop tops with fluorescent bras underneath, skirts that left nothing to the imagination, ripped tights... the boys were no better but at least weren’t walking around virtually naked, although a fair few had their arses hanging out of their trousers. At that point the dress code was “office wear”.

The following year they had a more in-depth dress code (suit style trousers, skirts to be no shorter than knee length, plain shirts/blouses, no obvious undergarments that could be seen through clothing, stomachs to be covered etc) and when this was still basically ignored by the rebels they brought in the tacky synthetic branded uniform that seems to be the current thing.

My point here is that some kids will always push back against the rules to the point of complete inappropriateness. And those children ruined it for all the thousands of pupils at the school who weren’t.

The statement given by the head teacher was basically now there can be no argument on interpretation of the dress code, you will wear this and you will buy it from the school shop... if you don’t wear it you will be sent home.

And they STILL had issues with girls wearing visible/fluorescent bras under their blouses.

Without at least a dress code how do you stop kids going to school looking like they forgot to get dressed that morning?

@Thesearepearls - I didn't go to formal halls when at Cambridge and so only had to rent a gown for my graduation. Seems like a different situation to school uniform.

Sometimes I wonder about the UK and the way in which we bring up our children

We live in a global economy. There's over a billion hardworking chinese out there. Don't even get me started on the Indians

just where do you think your kids will be? If they can't even be bovvered to follow uniform rules? Much less actually get educated to the level of the chinese/indians?

I'm sure that the UK economy can cope with supporting laziness for a while. But not much longer tbh. Think on and prepare your kids for a world of hard work. It's exciting but it's different and for sure lazy arse complaining kids are not going to look forward to a great future

But, Thesearepearls, there are lots of thriving economies out there in countries with no school uniforms at all.

Handfinisher those sixth formers had had to wear uniform for 5 years so we're heady with the relative freedom of non uniform and so used to reflex rebellion against dress codes it didn't occur to them not to push the rules I suspect.

Go to a country where the kuds haven't worn uniform in 70+ years. They all wear jeans and t shirts. Maybe 3% have really crazy hair, rainbow dreads or something. As nobody bats an eyelid it doesn't impact on learning or make them lazy. The older kids in the grammar school have wilder hair than the kids in the less academic schools near us, not sure why, but it's still a small minority.

Germany's economy is doing rather well without kids wearing school uniform.

Yet China, Japan and the UK are all in the top 5 and they do have uniform.

Therefore uniform is better no?

To be fair though, I don't think uniform is that important.

There is however a minority of parents who send their kids to school and then want the rules changing for their child, not because of any needs or valid reasons, because its what they want.

Its funny cause they have usually chosen the school for its good results and reputation, but don't quite understand how these things are achieved.

@brighteyeowl17 how dare you comment on a public forum, who do you think you are?! 🤔😂

Topcat - what statistics are you looking at?

According to the PISA results, in Maths the UK is 27th and in English, 22nd.

topcat therefore uniform is utterly irrelevant, presumably.

Teddy are you being deliberately obtuse?

Clearly everyone can post what they like. It's just irritating when someone "just has to" sweep onto a long thread to wo/man splain the same unoriginal and largely unproven arguments that are always trotted out, as though

1. they are setting the subject straight once and for all

and

2. what they are saying hasn't already been trotted out a score of times on the thread, counter arguments to their exact points made, and discussions had.

Was responding to this:

"Germany's economy is doing rather well without kids wearing school uniform."

The UK is the 5th biggest economy in the world, Chinese 2nd , Japanese 3rd.

Professor I haven't checked but I think Teddy is referring to economies not school age educational attainment, in which the UK is certainly fairly unremarkable, and certainly not on any top 10 lists for maths, literacy or science.

"According to the PISA results, in Maths the UK is 27th and in English, 22nd"

It isn't English its "reading"

Its also 15th in Science

Above the OECD average in all of them.

However those of us who know how PISA works have doubts about its accuracy.

However those of us who know how PISA works have doubts about its accuracy

If that's a dig at me I'm a teacher currently doing a PhD in Education. This wasn't a discussion about its accuracy - I can assure you I know how PISA "works", having studied and research it in depth. You didn't provide the source of your stastics, so I asked. It's a simple concept.

Irritating TO YOU. I don’t know why you feel like your views are any more important / valid than anyone else’s. Talk about arrogant.

Teddy bloody hell! My views aren't. Neither are brighteyeowl17 's! That's exactly my point. S/he's sweeping in wo/man-splaining what scores of others have already been talking about as though nobody else's posts are worth considering.

If Brighteyeowl had read the whole thread as she says she had, why would she post the same argument that's been posted and refuted 10 times already? Just seems kind of pointless.

It wasn't a dig at anyone, but you responded to a point citing PISA that was nothing to do with it.

Perhaps next time it would be better to say what it actually was to do with.