Why do parents of year 7 children do this?

[GuavaPalava]

So my DS has started secondary school this week. Prior to starting, we of course had parents evening, literature, uniform rules - it was made very clear what was acceptable and what wasn't

I was added to a 'new starters in year 7' FB group for my area a few months back and it's been used to ask the usual questions you may expect - apart from this week. It's all kicked off with the following ..

A parent in a fury as in day 1 she received a call saying her son's hair was not acceptable. Cue obligatory pic and he's got a half shaved head and tramlines

Another parent going mad as he DD had pink hair over the summer which she 'bleached out apart from the back' - she can't believe she's been told it needs to be sorted

And another moaning because she received a call about her DD wearing make up

All saying what you'd expect - it doesn't have any bearing on their ability to learn. And yeah, they're right - I get that

But why would you do this? You know the guidelines as a parent and they're very clear . AIBU to say that, knowing these rules, it's your child you immediately single out in a new school by sending him/her in with tram lines hair, pink hair and make up?

Ps; a brain surgeon wears a uniform and I wouldn't exactly say they are at the lowest end of the career/pay scale would you!

I think some people need to step out the office for a while and join the real world...

My dad’s a surgeon and he has had to choose an outfit every day of his career. They change into scrubs at work. It’s a bit like pe . I did ‘take your child to work day’ and wore scrubs, but I still had to buy a new outfit for the day, as you have to wear smart casual.

But yes, pilots, high ranking military etc are all well paid uniform wearers.

Ps; a brain surgeon wears a uniform

A brain surgeon can have purple hair, a shaved head or tramlines too if they so wished. They can also wear shoes of their choice and the NHS pays for their uniform (and shoes if the surgeons want to wear the Dr Martins the NHS provide for staff) but they often wear trainers instead. My ex works in the local hospital as their inventory clerk. He's the one who orders the uniforms and surgical equipment.

One of my client's is a GP. I can't get her hair red enough for her. No matter what I use, she wants it redder but won't let me bleach it.

Agree, but as a mum of a sixth-form DD who is not conforming totally to dress code despite my trying my best to make her it is very difficult making an older teen do what they should.
Year 7s are much more controllable in terms of clothes & looks, so yes I agree with you in that respect.

You know the guidelines as a parent and they're very clear . AIBU to say that, knowing these rules, it's your child you immediately single out in a new school by sending him/her in with tram lines hair, pink hair and make up

I think this just high lights some parents don't really care about the rules. Whether it is detrimental to immediately be 'singled out' is something else. Yes of course it can be, but I think some children want to 'stand out' and be seen as the non conformer.

I'm not a big fan of rules, but I understand they are there for a reason and encourage my child to follow them as it's in everyone's best interests., which includes wearing the correct attire for school.

I have provided all the correct uniform, but he will NOT follow the rules. E.g despite having smart black school trousers he will insist on wearing skinny black chinos which are not allowed. He also refuses to wear a blazer. (BTW, He does have a 'sensible' haircut.)

My stance is I have provided him with the correct stuff - he chooses not to wear it, he has to deal with the consequences!

I certainly haven't got time to enforce whether he has the correct trousers on or if he's put his blazer in his bag (he's 13)

Jobs which require a uniform that are not on the lowest level with the lowest pay;

Pilot
Police Officer
Soldier
Security Guard
Vet
Chef
Paramedic
Pharmacist
Dental hygienist
Surgeon
Mechanic
Firefighter
EHO
Engineers
Prison officer
Anything to do with RAF/RN/RM

I could probably dig more and find so many more!

These jobs vary in pay but they aren't the lowest level jobs and they aren't the lowest level pay. Even a nurse, who is vastly underpaid for their work are not classed as the lowest paid in comparison to someone on minimum wage in Asda. A lot of these jobs also require years spent in further education such as college and university and most require training and special skills. A dentist can earn more than a doctor and last time I went to see the dentist I'm pretty sure they were in uniform!

Even Gordon Ramsey, that millionaire chef, where's a uniform..

Frequency it was more about the poster saying the ones who wear uniform, aside from those in the military, are the one on lowest level and the lowest pay which is just not true. I assume they were referring to supermarket shelf stackers etc but the comment was pretty short sighted.

I wear a uniform at work and have to change once there. The point wasn't about what you wear to work it was about jobs where you wear uniform at work.

*wears not where's!

in real life, especially if you're a responsible job, you have to carefully thing what you wear every single day.

cider, I was the one who said about changing at work. My point being that surgeons still have to choose their outfit, in response to this comment^^. That’s not to say I agree with the rest of that post, saying all jobs which require uniform are the lowest paid. That isn’t true.

It always amuses me when people talk about challenging things in the "right way" in my experience nothing changes unless you kick up a fuss or refuse to comply, "the right way" just means asking politely so an officious wanker on a power kick has the pleasure of saying no.

It doesn't really matter what you wear to work in the sense that you don't need to carefully plan your outfit because you're changing into your work uniform once there. So a pair of jeans and a t shirt is fine to get there and back in because that's not what you'll be wearing whilst at work.

The surgeon will change yes, but the point he isn't operating on your brain whilst wearing a pair of shorts, a tank top and flip flops.

I never understood why hairdressers in a lot of places traditionally wear black? It's the one colour that cut hair will show up on! 🤔

There are also lots of jobs which require to you to remove jewellery for hygiene and safety reasons. Some jobs also require minimum make up (ie; no over the top eyeshadow/bright lipstick/false eyelashes.)

I never understood why hairdressers in a lot of places traditionally wear black? It's the one colour that cut hair will show up on!

Cut hair brushes off. We often have clothes brushes in the staff room for this purpose. Colour does not wash off. The majority of colours turn you darker not lighter and won't show on black.

I assume you mean hair dye colour?

JustDanceAddict Marie0
But I would imagine that having done your bit, if your child was picked up for their choices you would tell your child to accept the consequences.

What some parents do is kit their children out in non uniform because they don't like the uniform rules, then kick off and are fuming when school point out their children aren't dressed in uniform. Then witter on about how unfair the school is to their darling child.

On Monday I'm going to go into work and not wear the correct uniform. They will tell me off for it and then i'm going to complain on Facebook about how unfair my work is for telling me off for not following uniform policies which I agreed to when I applied for and accepted the job.

Yeah, hairdye colours.

I've ruined so many tops at home doing people's hair I even wear black when I'm working from home now. Unless I'm bleaching. I have a special bleaching top for that. I do own PPE but I still manage to tip lightener everywhere.

Thanks for explaining it frequency!

If uniforms are essential at primary and secondary schools why are they abandoned in post-16 institutions and universities? Is there any university that has strict uniform rules? A high achieving young person may spend 7 years in higher education (1st degree, masters, PhD) - why no uniform?

Some colleges at Oxbridge I think still have the gown.

A gown is bizarre in itself, but is not a gown over uniform, so the question remains.

Why is it essential up to the age of 16, on the basis of employability as an adult, but not essential from 17-21+?

Even in an Oxbridge college the gown is used as a signifier of achievement - a young person joining the university would not have earned the right of wearing a gown. This is completely different from an expectation to wear a uniform.

And even then a gown is not everyday wear but reserved for special occasions.

Maybe schools should copy this model? Ban wearing a uniform unless certain standards have been achieved and only then on certain occasions.

I think it was undergraduates that wore the gown too - I don’t know if any still do though.
Uniforms for companies are expensive to provide and when they do they and they have the company logo they are quite difficult to recycle and that is becoming a mounting problem anything with a badge connecting it to an institution is difficult to find a new home for - my sister works in this area and they burn some of the uniforms for fuel but not all - she’s currently working in a solution - her life’s work - apparently.