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Original poster

DD boyfriend is on the sex offenders register

619 replies

Brighton5555 · 05/09/2018 21:24

Just the title makes me feel sick.

My daughter is 16 and never had a boyfriend before. She met a young lad three months ago and told me he was 17. I was shocked because she kept him secret for the first month or so and she’s never had a boyfriend before.

I say shocked because it’s so not like her to keep things to herself but I do underdatand as her mother she’s not going to share every little detail of her life.

She had been seeing him a month when she told me about him. Then I find out he’s not 17 he’s 19. Then I find out this about him and I need advice.

She told me he is on the sex offenders register for 7 YEARS and he also has to visit a probation officer once a week during this time. She told me which is the story he told her that -

At college he got into a fight and hit someone ( I know it sounds like it’s getting worse ) and during the police investigation they searched his mobile phone where he states he had a couple of naked photos of his 17 year old girlfriend at the time. Due to her age ( I didn’t know 17 was classed as a minor ) and even though the girl agreed she sent them with her consent this is the reason my daughter tells me he is on the sec offenders register. I think she said something along the lines of a indecent image of a minor.

Something about this story just doesn’t make sense to me. I have all his details and am planning to go to my police station and just tell them what I have been told and that I’m really worried about the whole thing / is this young man a danger to children? My daughter ? Just because he says this is the reason doesn’t mean it is true.

They have been together 3 months now and this has only just come out. As much as she reassures me about the photos of a ex girlfriend and her being 17 and it ‘ not being that bad ‘ my gut tells me I think there is more to it.

Will the police think I’m overreacting?
Will they be able to at least warn me if he is considered a danger ?

I feel sick

OP posts:
AnxietyForever · 05/09/2018 21:39

Google his name! It will bring up court appearances etc

stabbybitch · 05/09/2018 21:39

The law is 18 for nude photos wether they are consented or not. He's probably on weekly probation for the fight not the photo.

Labradoodliedoodoo · 05/09/2018 21:40

Google his name and add the word court or the town you’re in

stabbybitch · 05/09/2018 21:40

I would still use Sarah's law though.

Dontknowwhatimdoing · 05/09/2018 21:40

Technically it is illegal to have images of a 17 year old, as under the law they are indecent images of children. However there is no way on earth that would have got into court in the circumstances you have described, let alone led to 7 years on the register. You definitely need to contact the police and find out what he has actually done. I'd be very surprised if he wasn't a risk to your DD.

RebootYourEngine · 05/09/2018 21:40

This sounds fishy. I don't think it was because the ex was 17. I think it was due to something else.

I would phone 101 for advice & then speak to your dd about it

longwayoff · 05/09/2018 21:41

He is lying and grooming your daughter who is at risk without her being aware of it. He will be older than he has claimed and is probably a serial
offender. Go to the police station and take her with you. Beg her if she refuses. Go soonest. Good luck

PawPawNoodle · 05/09/2018 21:41

Hi - I work in this area so may be able to give some insight.

Foremost its completely feasible that he got a sentence for having pictures of a 17 year old particularly if they are explicit.

The Sex Offender Register is set by the court and is nothing to do with Probation so him seeing Probation is not because of that, its to do with reporting to Police.

Sentences given that are under 6 months have a maximum of 7 years on the SOR. If its over 6 months its a 10 year SOR, or indefinitely depending on crime.

If he hasnt been to prison then he may have received a sentence under 6 months to be served as a community order (sentences of this length will have extended Probation involvement beyond a licence period), and given a 7 year SOR.

MistressoftheYoniverse · 05/09/2018 21:41

This is crap...trust me.. if they are near in age and consensual he would not need a parole officer....they are for a conviction not a warning or a mutual exchange of content.. this guy sounds dangerous ...sorry hun x

805Thistle · 05/09/2018 21:43

Polpotnoodle what sort of crime then would have attracted a sentence like this?

ElizabethG81 · 05/09/2018 21:47

There's a lot of misinformation here. The age of consent is 16, but the sharing/creating of indecent images of anyone under 18 is illegal. This is true even if the 16/17 year old child has taken and distributed an image of themselves.

Having said that, the likelihood of him being on the sex offender register for 7 years and seeing a probation officer weekly for having an indecent image of a 17 year old is approximately 0%. He has committed a much more serious offence than he has disclosed to your daughter.

Speak to the police - he will have a police officer allocated to undertake regular home visits to him, and they will also keep in close contact with his probation officer. They will disclose to you what you need to know to protect your daughter. He is also probably in breach of his order/licence by being in a relationship with her and not informing the police/probation.

NotTakenUsername · 05/09/2018 21:48

At college he got into a fight and hit someone

Who did he hit? Could it have been the ex girlfriend?

Original poster
Brighton5555 · 05/09/2018 21:48

I have googled his name. Nothin comes up. He has actually changed his name according to my daughter again just before she met him / just after this happened but I’ve googled both his new name and his original ( the one he supplied ) nothing for either. No social media no crime news nothing

OP posts:
PrincessConsuelaBannanaHammock · 05/09/2018 21:48

I agree with pp that that story doesn't seem to add up. I've never heard of the police searching a mobile after a fight.

I know the pictures would be illegal bit seeing a parole officer once a week & 7 years on the register seems a bit high for his version of events, but I do hope I'm wrong.

I hope the police are able to help you find out more. If he was under 18 himself I'm not sure a Google search would show you much as I thought they couldn't release details or put things in the news if the person was under 18?

Original poster
Brighton5555 · 05/09/2018 21:49

It was a student he hit, a Male. So I am told. He was charged with assault. Then police found the photos and charged him with that also.

OP posts:
Alexalee · 05/09/2018 21:51

Name change
Sex offenders register
Lied about his age

Sounds like a predator to me

ana18 · 05/09/2018 21:52

Isn't there Sara's law ? U have right to find out information . I wouldn't believe he was telling the full story I'm not trying to worry you but I would honestly contact police . As u said your daughter this is he first boyfriend and she is likely naive and easily believe what ever he tells her .

garethsouthgatesmrs · 05/09/2018 21:52

He could be lying about his name but why would he change his name if it was something as simple as having a picture if a 17 year old? OP you must be very worried. I would speak to the police to get some advice. Is your DD still at school. There will be a safeguarding officer at school who may be able to give you some advice on who to talk to. I also think the school should be told as they may have other info which will help you see the full picture. They will know what grooming looks like.

user1495390685 · 05/09/2018 21:52

I don't have any suggestions, OP, but sending you hugs! I hung our with all sorts of wrong 'uns when I was in my teens but sorted things out in the end. Hope your daughter sees sense.

Blondeshavemorefun · 05/09/2018 21:52

You wouid think of his story is true that he would stay away - well away from anyone under 18

Probation weekly could be due to fight or coz he didn’t serve a prison sentence. And had a suspended sentence

My dh had a suspended sentence (for drunk driving Not sexual misbehaviour ) and had to see a probation officer weekly

BeyondMyThoughts · 05/09/2018 21:52

I think you are doing the right thing by contacting the police at least they should be able to tell you if it is anything more serious which it seems very likely considering he has to see probation every week

Why did he tell her? How did it come about as surely it would've been easier to keep to himself

Hufflefloof · 05/09/2018 21:54

Your daughter would be able to do a subject access request under Claire’s law (Sarah’s law is risk to children and your daughter is 16). They don’t give out lots of detail, and your daughter would have to consent not to share what she is told, but they would assess his record, and whether they feel he would be a risk to a new partner, and then tell your daughter as much as is relevant. He is still protected by data protection so they have to balance that with the risk to your daughter. You can usually start the process by calling 101. You can be put on the register for “distributing indecent images of a child”, but I’m 99% sure this wouldn’t apply to a 17 year old.

Troels · 05/09/2018 21:55

Changed his name too! I hope you get to the bottom if this, who knows if the original name he gave is even a real one. He does sound very dodgy. Why in hell won't 16 year olds listen, they think they are so dam clever and know better than adults.

ElizabethG81 · 05/09/2018 21:56

Given he's 19 now, he may well have been convicted as a youth, so his name wouldn't be in the media. Speak to the police tomorrow.

It's possible his phone was looked at in connection to an assault, I've seen that happen a lot recently as they want to look at social media, messages, etc, to see if there are things written about the assault, or leading up to it.

queenjosephine · 05/09/2018 21:56

What Huffle said ^
Sounds like a disclosure is the way forward.
He's definitely not telling the truth and he sounds like a very convincing liar.
Worrying for you & your daughter.

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