DD boyfriend is on the sex offenders register

[Brighton5555]

Just the title makes me feel sick.

My daughter is 16 and never had a boyfriend before. She met a young lad three months ago and told me he was 17. I was shocked because she kept him secret for the first month or so and she’s never had a boyfriend before.

I say shocked because it’s so not like her to keep things to herself but I do underdatand as her mother she’s not going to share every little detail of her life.

She had been seeing him a month when she told me about him. Then I find out he’s not 17 he’s 19. Then I find out this about him and I need advice.

She told me he is on the sex offenders register for 7 YEARS and he also has to visit a probation officer once a week during this time. She told me which is the story he told her that -

At college he got into a fight and hit someone ( I know it sounds like it’s getting worse ) and during the police investigation they searched his mobile phone where he states he had a couple of naked photos of his 17 year old girlfriend at the time. Due to her age ( I didn’t know 17 was classed as a minor ) and even though the girl agreed she sent them with her consent this is the reason my daughter tells me he is on the sec offenders register. I think she said something along the lines of a indecent image of a minor.

Something about this story just doesn’t make sense to me. I have all his details and am planning to go to my police station and just tell them what I have been told and that I’m really worried about the whole thing / is this young man a danger to children? My daughter ? Just because he says this is the reason doesn’t mean it is true.

They have been together 3 months now and this has only just come out. As much as she reassures me about the photos of a ex girlfriend and her being 17 and it ‘ not being that bad ‘ my gut tells me I think there is more to it.

Will the police think I’m overreacting?
Will they be able to at least warn me if he is considered a danger ?

I feel sick

Whilst it is an offence to have sex with someone aged under the legal age of consent of 16, it is not necessarily rape as an over 12 year old can legally consent.

It is an offence for anyone to have any sexual activity with a person under the age of 16.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 provides specific legal protection for children aged 12 and under who cannot legally give their consent to any form of sexual activity.

Source www.fpa.org.uk/factsheets/law-on-sex#age-consent

So because some young girls dress in a certain way, then they must be having sex?

That's a ridiculous statement and quite an assumption!

Amy1996you obviously have no clue what young girls are like now a days! I see 12 year old girls dressed up and they look about 19/20 unfortunately it's all about image now and girls will do anything to look good and get attention from a boy*

Nothing like a bit of victim blaming!

Touching some ones body without concent is vile! Clothes are inaminate objects they can not give or imply concent.

Touching underage children is even more disgusting.

lemonsorbetinthesun
It's a ridiculous assumption that someone dressing a certain way tells you they have had sex.

It wouldn't be ridiculous to hold a more nuanced view that pre teen and early teen girls dressing in a way that is known to be provocative and associated with sexuality, hanging around with older boys/young men are by far more likely to be girls who are more vulnerable to child sexual exploitation.
Ultimately (though disturbingly), older teens and young men decide which girls they are going to groom and dressing/behaving in a way beyond their years is one marker of a girl who may be more easily persuaded/groomed into more sexual activity. Far from showing them to be worldly wise, is say it highlights a girl's vulnerability and it is the vulnerability that such men prey on.

(Absolutely not victim blaming at all, just saying there is a link between dress and sexual activity but is a darker, more predatory and more complex link).

You can request information from police as part of Sarah's law.

Oops, page didn't load properly, I see that is already advised. As you were.

Hope you get some answers op.

Whilst it is an offence to have sex with someone aged under the legal age of consent of 16, it is not necessarily rape as an over 12 year old can legally consent.

It is an offence for anyone to have any sexual activity with a person under the age of 16.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 provides specific legal protection for children aged 12 and under who cannot legally give their consent to any form of sexual activity

An over 12 year old, but under 16 year old, cannot legally have sex with anybody over the age of consent. But a 13 year old with a 15 year old, is protected by that policy, unless they say it was non-consensual. Any sexual activity with anybody under the age of 13 is always non-consensual in law, even if the other party is also only 14/15.

I don’t think teen girls dress ‘provocatively’ on purpose. They tend to be sheep and wear what each other likes. So cropped tops are popular.
It is true that girls who dress a certain way get targeted. This is because they are harder to age and also people know that the parents aren’t interested/aren’t around if the child is young and going out late dressed in a manner inappropriate for the weather.
It means they are easier to groom because no one is checking on them.
There is a lot of blaming the child here. I’d be looking at the parents.

Biologifemini
I agree.
Also if a child is dressing in a provocative fashion then that can be a sign they arent getting enough attention at home so are seeking it from other areas, making them much more vulnerable. It might flatter the girl to think that an older boy is interested in her because she is more mature and presents as being older, but usually girls who present as more worldly street wise are emotionally vulnerable because their outward self is often a tough exterior masking other vulnerabilities (and sometimes trauma from home).
The girls end up seeing the grooming as love and affection and a sign they are more grown up than their peers. The horrible reality is that these men don't give a shit about them.
If a child is going out dressed in a sexualized or provocative way beyond their years then instead of commenting on how up for it the girl is people should be asking what the hell the parenrs were doing.

Maisy I had that conversation (or tried to) with one of my Year 8s, and it didn't go well. She had on a cropped plunging blouse, and trousers that were so low slung one could almost see the top of her pubic bone. She really worried me, but the HoY and her Mum weren't the least bit concerned.

Came back to see if any update but none. Hope you got some answers and are ok.

Checking back too.

I hope all's ok @Brighton5555

Hope everything's okay

Haven't read the whole thread so it's probably been mentioned already but Claire's law is the right to ask for any disclosure into someone's criminal background for relevant offences. Call 101 and file a right to ask report.

And Sarah's law is about sex offenders. Hth

It's a good job you came along, don't think it's been mentioned 🙄

You can actually get into trouble for being over 18 and sending/receiving pics to an under 18. The law states that sexting is illegal anyway, but if you're both over 18 not alot can be done and most people pretty much sext each other.. The sexual consent is 16, but to send pics online to each other, you both have to be aged 18 at least. I was told at school (left secondary school in 2014) that until both parties are min age 16, if a 15 year old has sex with a 14 year old, and if a 16 year old has sex with a 15 year old etc (the oldest one can get into trouble). So minimum age to sext is 18 for both parties. Minimum age for sexual intercourse itself is 16 for both parties. Strange law..

Why did you bump this old thread, loverlover?