My mother just turns up and walks into my house?

[oldschooloon]

I'm curious as to how normal this is, I'm 50 and my mother still thinks, despite finally being told no clearly after years of hints and resistance, that she can just turn up unannounced at my house.
I've at least finally managed to train her not to also just walk in without knocking.

I've at least finally managed to train her not to also just walk in without knocking.

Surely you don't leave your front door unlocked?

Ugh I'd hate that. Can you not lock your door though?

I'd change the locks and pretend not to be in.

This is why I put the chain on at all times.

I suppose it depends on your family set up. My family all just knock and walk in. I don't have an issue with that but I do have a problem with people not calling or texting to say they're on their way. My ILs have a nasty habit of not bothering to tell us they're on the way over even though they have a 90 min drive to get here. That really gets on my wick.

We live in the country, the door only ever gets locked when we're all properly out for the day

Does she have a key? If so, change the locks and don't give her another ...

Does she need an appointment?
As to walking straight in; if she can, so can anyone else. Lock your door.

You can't complain about people just walking in when you don't lock the door

I'm a raging introvert with fibro, so I need not to have to do people, and frequently need to nap a bit... one of those naps once I woke up to her walking into my bedroom, having failed to find me downstairs, another time when I'd started locking the door precisely because of this, there was a crash in the garage and I found her trying to climb over the bikes...

I shouldn't have to lock my front door to stop people walking in, surely manners dictate that it's not ok?

Lock the door, leave your key in it and put the chain on.

And bloody tell her not to just let herself in.

Just lock the door - it would solve all your problems so why not just do it?

She's clearly not going to listen to you, so either start locking your door or put up with it.

I'm clear on how I feel about this, I was curious as to how normal it was that I find it infuriating, and how normal it is in other families that they find it ok :)
No, she doesn't need an appointment, but I do expect anyone intending to visit to let me know first lol

Locks are for that very purpose actually! To stop people just walking in...

Due to my family set up, teenagers etc, it's not as simple as locking the front door, there's the back door which is a side door and we live in the middle of nowhere with teens to-ing and fro-ing to outbuildings

Completely normal in my family.

I shouldn't have to lock my front door to stop people walking in, surely manners dictate that it's not ok?

Burglars don't have manners. Surely you lock the door when you are having a nap?

Narcissistic DM with no boundaries strikes again! She thinks you belong to her. And by extension, all of your property, family, friends etc belong to her. My DM is exactly the same. You have my sympathy OP.

You sound difficult.

She should knock and wait?

What do you do when going to her house?

The meaning of family is very different to when I grew up.

If your mother can walk into your bedroom, so can a burglar or rapist. Surprised you’re even able to go to sleep with the door unlocked!

Well you have a house that allows your immediate family to come in and out.

Your mum probably puts herself in that category even though she doesn’t live with you.

Train her to give warning first eg with a quick call (don’t say you’re telling her to ask first, just say it’s a warning).

Then you can start saying “no I’ll be asleep then” etc

You could solve your problem very easily by locking your doors (inc. garage).

If you don’t want to, ‘sup to you. But quit bitching.