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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask what career you want for your child or children?

354 replies

glammother31 · 05/09/2018 08:15

Have you got it all mapped out or are you just going to roll the dice? Will they go to uni or have you not decided?

I'd be really interested to hear different points of view.

OP posts:
oldgimmer78 · 05/09/2018 10:50

I will and am definitely encouraging my dc to pursue solid university degrees. I had little to no guidance and I'm paying the price for it. My dc won't have the benefit of a house deposit from us so I really hope they choose something well paid too.

I most certainly would not be supportive of them wanting to make a career out of stand up comedy, Youtubing, IGing or modelling. Those are hobbies or dreams for 99% of people involved, they aren't sustainable careers.

Babyroobs · 05/09/2018 11:04

Anything but Nursing.

MissusGeneHunt · 05/09/2018 11:13

I have my own brand that I've worked hard to cultivate

What does that even mean? MLM?

As long as he's independent, works hard using his brain and skills at the time of a career choice, I'll be happy. Currently he feels YouTubing is an option - that won't last, so I'm not worried. We've done the professional footballer thing, realised that's not an option, and he's moved on. No doubt he'll move on frequently between now and decision time!

BigBlueBubble · 05/09/2018 11:20

Being a beautiful child is no guarantee of being a beautiful adult. Just look at Haley Joel Osment.

eggsandwich · 05/09/2018 11:21

I honestly dont care what my dd does as long as shes happy, she’s just started year 11 and has known what she wants to do since the end of primary school and its still the same, she’s on target to get the grades she needs for it but if it all goes pear shaped I’m sure she’ll do well whatever she does.

sobeyondthehills · 05/09/2018 11:22

DS (6) wants to be a sandwich maker during the week, policeman at the weekend and batman during the night, on his off days he wants to be a lego builder.

He is going to be busy

BlooperReel · 05/09/2018 11:30

DD wants to be a teacher, has done for about 3 years now), she is in late primary school, so obviously nothing is set in stone, but I have explained what she will need to do to become a teacher and she is still keen.

SoundofSilence · 05/09/2018 11:37

My kids have no idea what they want to do yet, which is fair enough.

My input is limited to telling them what has been important to me: being in charge of your own diary, making enough money to be secure, and the opportunity to get out and about sometimes instead of being trapped at a desk within the same four walls every day.

I have also suggested that they might want to learn from my experience that public service looks better on paper than it feels when you have to make yourself available to be yelled at by anybody who wants to for eight hours a day without the freedom to respond as they might deserve.

NotMeNoNo · 05/09/2018 11:52

My DC both have emotional /SEN issues so if they even have independent living I'll be pleased. However they are both bright cookies, one will do something in computer programming I expect and the other will be in some kind of job that involves bossing people around! Hope they will manage university as they are both clever enough but FGS please a vocational degree with job prospects.

50Running50 · 05/09/2018 11:54

@glammother31

No love, you have NO brand .... you are in cloud cuckoo land it seems

You obvs live under a bridge

Polarbearflavour · 05/09/2018 11:54

DP is keen to encourage DC to be a military officer like him.

Spudlet · 05/09/2018 11:55

sobeyondthehills I believe that is what is called a portfolio career Grin

Myself, I wanted to be a detective who invented cake recipes on the side...

cactusplant · 05/09/2018 11:55

So you do juice plus then Hmm

I'm guessing this is your first child

Have you always had delusions or is it just a recent thing?o

50Running50 · 05/09/2018 11:56

Oh and @glammother31 there's no hope for your poor kid if instagram is all it's mother claims to 'do'

silvercuckoo · 05/09/2018 11:57

I am a bit surprised at the number of posters who say that they do not care what their children choose as long as they are happy.
I obviously want my children to be happy, but also to have a proper fundamental education and clear career perspectives. They can choose anything as long it is medicine or STEM. Grin
Stand up comedy is great, but it is a hobby, not a profession. I'd guess many stand up comedians are happy at 20, but substantially less happy in their 40s.

JaceLancs · 05/09/2018 11:59

Whatever they want
Although that said I have tried to get them to think through their options and where it might lead career wise
DS is an accountant
DD was a nurse and now works for ambulance service

50Running50 · 05/09/2018 12:01

@silvercuckoo yes,you'd 'guess' but never know as a fact Hmm

I'd 'guess' medicine will have killed them off with the stress and long hours long before they reach 40.....

A guess is a guess....

kenandbarbie · 05/09/2018 12:03

Er whatever THEY want to do!!

SoupDragon · 05/09/2018 12:04

Using the power of social media to harness income streams.

Hahahahahahaha...

evilharpy · 05/09/2018 12:08

Using the power of social media to harness income streams.

So. Juice Plus or Forever Living?

RomanyRoots · 05/09/2018 12:13

As long as they are happy, I'm not bothered.
ds1 (27) has found his career, ds2 (23) has jobs but not found his ideal yet.
Dd (14) is determined to follow her dream of Opera singer, and believes a plan B is for wimps. She doesn't want to marry and have kids, and is career focussed.
I would prefer her not to give it up for a fella, but it's her life in the end.

Westworldmaeve · 05/09/2018 12:14

Something that they choose that fits with their interests and capabilities and that pays money.

SpringSnow · 05/09/2018 12:16

@DieAntword I’m not wishing depression on them jeez, I’m just saying I think being a moral person is more important than being a happy person. sounds like you want to throw your kids under the bus for other people.

RedPencil · 05/09/2018 12:25

*Lol at people saying it's up to them!

Most kids would say ok I'll stay at home and play Xbox all day*

You do realise don't you that they don't stay kids forever. That they grow adult minds that realise they can't stay home and okay x box all day. Hmm

Bluntness100 · 05/09/2018 12:25

To be honest though the op raises an interesting thought. As parents often we are limited in our own horizons.

So the op comes across as possibly social media focused and possibly thinks being a model is the most fantastic thing she can think of (apologies op if that's not correct) , so if she recognises she's possibly not qualified to make decisions on her daughters future, her view is too limited, like many of us, then working hard to give your child all the. Opportunities, to have the best advice, is where it's at.

I think many of us are the same, we are limited by our own horizons, our own knowledge base, our own desires. It's important we don't then try to limit our kids the same way.

Children should be given all the opportunities possible for them, and be listened to and supported to be what they wish to be, within their own limitations. Not by our own limitations as parents.

We also need to take away gender bias. Would the op encourage a son to be a model, or would she look at something more stable and practical because of his gender.

We need to be able to see our own limitations and biases and understand when we aren't the person to advise. We are simoly the person who opens up the world for our child.