To want to have my son every Christmas Day?

[opalescent]

Genuinely torn about this.
I have a 5 year old son and a 1 year old daughter. My son is from a previous relationship, and sees his dad consistently every other weekend, more in the holidays.

They have a lovely relationship, and my son adores going to see his dad.

For the first couple of Christmases, we split the actual day- so my son was with me until mid afternoon, and then went off to his dads.
I decided last year to stop that, as I felt it made the day too bitty, and my son also received two full Christmas present hauls in one day, which was just too overwhelming for him.

I strongly feel that it is better for him to spend the whole of Christmas Day in one place- but I don't want it be anywhere other than with me 😨. I hate the thought of splitting him up from his little sister, and flat out can't imagine Christmas Eve or morning without him.

As the main care giver- wibu to say that he is with me every Christmas Day (for the foreseeable), and goes to his dad on Boxing Day?

onetimeposter - are you aware that your views on how children’s living arrangements post-separation or divorce are at odds with the law?

We've always alternated with DSS and he loved it as a young child. He got the best of both worlds...2 Christmas day's.

User
The law is favoured towards fathers even in cases where they abuse the mother
Yet maintenence remains optional ehilst the resident parent would be charged with neglect

No, the law does not favour fathers.

Haven't rtft but of course you are BU. DP's ex is like this and will not let him see his DD on Christmas day ever. It's so sad for DP and his DD. I think it's important for children to see both of their parents at Christmas and in the case of separated parents I'm a firm believer of splitting it every other so you get one Christmas day he gets the next.

The does not favour fathers

It favours the primary caregiver. Who at the moment, is usually the mother. Though I can see that changing very rapidly in the next 20 years.

Poesy - the op has acknowledged it would be unreasonable to act on her desire to have her son with her every Christmas.

Oops sorry OP. Should rtft next time 🙈

@onetimeposter actually the law doesn't. My ex's dad was abused by my ex's mum. When they divorced the courts gave his mum custody even thought the kids (my ex and his brother) wanted to be with their dad. It took years of custody battles before the courts finally let them reside with their dad.

Cherish sorry about that. That's awful. And sorry for the suggestion-I was under the impression that men were favoured in the courts. Not having that experience I don't know personally.

I was in the same situation OP, ex has a great relationship with our son.
we used to split the day which wasn't fair on DS then started alternate christmases.

It's years later and both me and ex have new partners and and extra child each. I always want DS with me at Christmas and something is definitely missing when it's not our year but you get used to it.

The year we don't have him we normally do something special for new year rather than Boxing Day.
I just try to think of the equally lovely time he's having with his dad that day and if he's happy then I'm happy!