Would you be upset if your parents and both your adult DDs forgot, and five days, later still seemed unaware...

[liz70]

...that your DH and you had had your twentieth wedding anniversary? No card, no phonecall, no message, no acknowledgement whatsoever?

Just that, really.

I’m on holiday at the moment. My DH booked it and surprised me. I asked why and he reminded me it was our thirtieth wedding anniversary.
It’s between me and him. No one else.

Nope not at all. It’s an anniversary. Not a birthday. If you want to have a party or celebrate that’s up to you but it’s of no interest to anyone else unless you make it.
We had our 18th and it wasn’t mentioned by anyone even though a niece shares her birthday with that day.
My in laws happened to be here for their 48th and I said Happy Anniversary because she told me but no card.

I don't get the expectation for other people to remember someone's anniversary - it has no significance for anyone but the couple? I'd be pissed if my OH forgot though 😂

Weirdly 2 girls I know have posted pictures on instagram this evening to celebrate the respective 30th & 35th wedding anniversaries of their parents. Mine would kill me! Reminding their surviving guests (mum's family, tiny, fondly remembered wedding) is one thing, public shout complete with late 80s outfits in a brown registry office photo is quite another!

Nope.
We celebrate it as a couple and that’s it. I think our DPs sent cards on our 1st anniversary which surprised me as I wasn’t expecting it at all.

I do know my parents wedding date but I never used to send cards or gifts. On what would have been their 50th anniversary I sent DF a text to say I was thinking of him as he’s now widowed.

I don't think our adult sons know when mine & DH's anniversary is & I certainly wouldn't expect them to acknowledge it.

We don't make a fuss about anniversaries really. DH & I both forgot it last year.

I don’t think my adult dc would be able to tell you the date of our wedding anniversary although I think dd would know the month , I think anniversaries are purely for the people involved so it doesn’t bother me .

No one remembers our anniversary now (15 years this year), apart from DH and me, we often go away for one or two nights, whilst our DDs have a sleepover with their cousins. I don't expect any of our friends to remember.

Like a lot of my friends do, I just announce it on Facebook and get lovely congratulatory messages in reply. I wouldn't expect them to remember on their own, why should they? I don't remember theirs unless they put a post on Facebook themselves.

It's often passed me by and I'll remember a couple of days or weeks later
.. However I never ever forget the day I left and always have a little moment of congratulations to myself for leaving the prick!! 😂

Wedding anniversaries are for the couple only - YABVU

I agree.

I also think you were mean not to tell your girls what was happening. If you care about cards and gifts why not tell them beforehand.

God no. Who cares?

No, I wouldn't be upset - the date is only meaningful for me and DH.

If wedding anniversaries are a big thing in your family, I suppose it might feel hurtful to be overlooked.

I’ve just realised DH and I BOTH forgot our wedding anniversary 4 days ago ..........😮😮😮😮

We had our 36th anniversary on 27 August. DH went to work, our DD came down and said Happy Anniversary Mum. I had completely forgotten about it, the DH turned up after work with a bottle of Baileys and a bunch of flowers.

I strongly suspect that DH had also forgotten and was reminded by DD, who still lives at home. The flowers and Baileys were very nice, but I would not have been upset in any way if no one had remembered.

I will be 60 next year and hope to have some sort of family celebration.

My MiL was once insulated that we hadn't given them a gift to celebrate 25 years since they'd MET!! Fml!

Anniversary are for the couple to remember, if you wanted to do something for it you should have suggested something!

I have trouble remembering when my own wedding anniversary is let alone other people's! 😂

I only know my parents' anniversary because its the day before my mum's birthday but I don't send them a card or anything. It's for them to celebrate.

Stop being melodramatic!

I couldn't tell you the wedding anniversaries of anyone (even my own) without looking it up and while I know how many years I've been married I couldn't tell you how many years anyone else had been married. I've only once sent an anniversary card and that was to my DH on our 20th.

If I celebrated my anniversary each year and included my DDs and parents in that celebration (a party or a meal out with them or something) then I might be a bit annoyed that they forgot, but I would also expect to be arranging something for this year as well, so they'd be pretty oblivious and rude to forget. But otherwise, it seems a bit "Me, me, me!" to expect other people to be keeping track of something like that.

I don't think so - I used to remember my parents' wedding anniversary mostly because it was only a few days prior to my birthday, but I don't think we acknowledged it except for big numbers. We clubbed together to send them away on a "repeat honeymoon" holiday for their 25th, and they had a party for their 40th, but I think that was it really.
Did my grandparents' 50th as well, as a surprise.

I don't really expect anyone else to remember our wedding anniversary though.

No, I wouldn't be upset. Among my family of origin and my in-laws' family, and in my own marriage, a wedding anniversary is something which the couple celebrate with each other. Other people aren't expected to remember it.

No one gives a shit when you got married except you.

I don't think I've ever sent or received a wedding anniversary card. I'm not entirely sure of the date of my parents wedding or even the year. Am I supposed to?

The only reason that I (usually) remember my own is because it is exactly two weeks after my parents and a week before the ILs. We don’t always remember. Sometimes we go ‘oh shit it was our anniversary last week’ but it isn’t as if we would have actually done anything - it’s just social convention to have an idea of how long you’ve been married for. We had our 20th this year actually. The ILs sent a card. No one else did. We didn’t do anything. We’ll probably go out for dinner for our 25th as it seems s but more like something you would mark somehow. Maybe with the kids. But we would invite them, not expect them to rustle up a thing.
I’m not remotely bothered that there wasn’t a fanfare for 20...

Depends whether they normally remember the anniversary.

I know that I struggle to remember about other people’s wedding anniversaries unless I’m reminded.

No.
But DH told me he had booked the day off for ours and reminded me it was our anniversary date, I'm not good at remembering these things.