To think my DH is useless at the most basic task?

[Beaubeagle]

Not feeling great earlier so DH offered to go to the supermarket for a few bits we needed. I wrote a very detailed list:

Ham (naice)
Carrots x2 bags
Sausages (at least 18 thick)
Cheap birthday card

DH then rang from the supermarket to check what kind of ham he should buy (I buy the same ham weekly and always have.....) so I described, in detail, the honey roast ham in the black packet.

DH came home with the following:

Cheap, nasty ham in a clear packet
A tiny packet of carrot batons (there are 7 of us at home this weekend for dinner)
2 packets of 8 sausages
A birthday card that cost £3!

Wibu to LTB? He’s bloody hopeless! (I do love him lots though).

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So he goes to the supermarket and comes back with only two chops! I was so annoyed and he couldn’t fathom why...!

So you sent him back to buy the rest, no? Barring some serious special needs, there's zero excuse for such deliberate uselessness other than a lazy person who's not interested in being part of a team and being an adult. Really never saw the attraction to such specimens, tbh.

Leftright you are making massive assumptions here! He is by no means lazy and he really pulls his weight at home with the kids! He is very invested in our family and would do anything for us. He just sometimes doesn’t use his common sense

Actually... he’s very clever, clearly! Because you will NEVER ask him to do it again!!!! You got played, OP!
My dad’s ex wife (who became my mum’s best friend later in life and like a second mum to me, so I loved her dearly)... the first time my dad asked her to iron his clothes for him she did as she was asked... but she burned his best shirt! Needless to say he never asked her again AND he ended up doing all her ironing too lol!!!

Acquired incompetence.

Blame his mother/grandmother/big sister for poor training in his early years.

Same thing as 'those' women who claim not to be able to change a wheel, check oil, fill the tank on 'their' car, change a plug on an appliance, use a powertool etc.

Blame his mother/grandmother/big sister for poor training in his early years

Or his father/grandfather/big brother... ?

@grumpyolderbloke why is it a women's responsibility to 'train' men. Who trained us?

@grumpyolderbloke why is it a women's responsibility to 'train' men. Who trained us?

A woman most likely....

A woman most likely....

Well yeah, in that I trained myself (and I’m a woman). I seriously don’t get why so many people seem to need training to do simple tasks like shopping and putting a load of washing on. Honestly baffles me.

Maybe some of us taught ourselves? Or grew up in households where gender didn't define which chores you did or didn't do.

Ye Gods, can't you take a joke?

Well yeah, in that I trained myself
Most children don't grow up in a vacuum though, they learn what they see. They see caregiver going through the cupboards doing a list or the recipe books etc. They see caregiver loading a wash and splitting colours and putting liquid in. They see caregiver cooking food etc. They aren't oblivious to a of that and then suddenly at 12 or 16 or 21 figure it all out from scratch.

And caregiver is most often female.

And clearly in too many men that female caregiver showed sex bias and got the girls to help, didn't have help from male caregiver.

I was Daddy raised, he managed to cook and clean and keep house despite his penis. My PIL have two boys and whilst thry clearly never taught my DH to cook he did see his Dad do his share. Consequently there is no expectation that sex organs dictate household chores.

He does lawns because of my hay-fever and spiders because I don't like them. I cook more because I can cook.

I was also brought up solely by my dad from being a teenager. So equally as used to seeing a man doing these things. DH was brought up in a fairly well of family who had a nanny and full time housekeeper, yet still managed to learn to cook, wash, clean etc. I imagine he was pretty useless when he left for uni but managed to teach himself as, well, no one else was going to do it for him.