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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my DH is useless at the most basic task?

213 replies

Beaubeagle · 02/09/2018 23:27

Not feeling great earlier so DH offered to go to the supermarket for a few bits we needed. I wrote a very detailed list:

Ham (naice)
Carrots x2 bags
Sausages (at least 18 thick)
Cheap birthday card

DH then rang from the supermarket to check what kind of ham he should buy (I buy the same ham weekly and always have.....) so I described, in detail, the honey roast ham in the black packet.

DH came home with the following:

Cheap, nasty ham in a clear packet
A tiny packet of carrot batons (there are 7 of us at home this weekend for dinner)
2 packets of 8 sausages
A birthday card that cost £3!

Wibu to LTB? He’s bloody hopeless! (I do love him lots though).

OP posts:
Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 04/09/2018 18:08

Hardly a hanging offence, cricket

MessyBun247 · 04/09/2018 18:09

She didn’t say it was a hanging offence Hmm She said it was annoying.

cricketmum84 · 04/09/2018 18:15

Oh dear. Someone left their sense of humour behind today.... Hmm

cricketmum84 · 04/09/2018 18:16

I should have added that the conversation is all over text or WhatsApp so he already has a list if he just reread the bloody message.

Teacher22 · 04/09/2018 18:25

The lovelies do it on purpose so you won't ask again.

Alleycat1 · 04/09/2018 18:31

Also, men are able to operate complicated machinery but using a household appliance is beyond a lot of them. My mother, sister and I were going out one day and my father was asked to put some towels in the machine and then hang them out as rain was forecast for the rest of the week. When we came back the towels were in the machine but it hadn't been switched on because my father 'didn't know how to use it'. I've never forgotten my mother's response and the only time I heard her use really bad language. "Contrary to popular belief of the male of the species women do not spring from the womb fully cognizant of how to operate a washing machine. We had to read the f.....g instructions!" Which, by the way, she had left on the counter top.

pollymere · 04/09/2018 18:51

My husband might bring back that list. But would then tell me they didn't have carrots or I thought batons would be easier, this was the cheapest card they had, I couldn't find the right ham and I didn't want to buy 24 sausages so thought 16 might be enough. I've skimmed through and I can't see you asking for a rationale, just condemning him for not buying what you needed. I've had mine come home with worse substitutions that a Tesco home delivery but it's a fear of returning without an item and hoping that the substitution will do. When you go yourself, you can make conscious decisions based on all the information so it doesn't happen as in they've no carrots, I'll get green beans which is fine for dinner but not for carrot cake. Or, I need 18 sausages, I'll have to buy 24 or adapt the recipe to use fewer.

Santaclarita · 04/09/2018 19:00

My partner tried telling me he didn't know how to work a washing machine as it was too complicated. I then pointed out that it's no problem for him to fix a server in another country though. He could suddenly work the washing machine.

BeckyBec · 04/09/2018 20:21

My husband is currently out at the shops with the list I gave him this evening, I wonder what he'll come back with :-D He has been gone a while now...

lifebeginsat16 · 04/09/2018 20:31

Use the mysupermarket webiste to show him pictures of what you want. You can make a list from there too.

JessieMcJessie · 04/09/2018 20:59

Of course the laminated cards suggestion is a joke @SilverySurfer! And a very funny one too. Particularly the bit about hanging it round his neck Grin.

NotBeforeCoffee · 04/09/2018 21:09

Did he do this on purpose so you don’t send him again?

villanova · 04/09/2018 21:27

Can I just point out I once went to a school parent's evening & suddenly realised I had no idea which teacher I was there to see. I'm female, the working parent, and never do the school run. This was for DC3, and I forgot they'd just moved up a year. Luckily I was able to find out, and it's not through lack of interest: I do all the home reading, both of us supervise homework, divide housework as I prefer the cooking. I don't think not knowing child's school year is a hanging offence!

DaveGrohlsMrs · 04/09/2018 21:34

Ha ha! My husband is like this. Love him dearly, but bloody hell! 😂 I was making pork chops the other week for us. They are quite small so we usually have two each, which he knows as he has eaten two every time we have them. So he goes to the supermarket and comes back with only two chops! I was so annoyed and he couldn’t fathom why...!

ScrommidgeClaryAndSpunt · 04/09/2018 21:36

This drives me round the fucking bend. Following a shopping list is a basic fucking life skill and if you are male and feel unable to do this simple fucking thing, then perhaps sit down, remove your hand from your trousers and figure out where you went wrong in life instead of embarrassing the rest of us with your inadequacy.

SilverySurfer · 04/09/2018 21:44

JessieMcJessie I was pretty sure it was a joke but having just read lifebeginsat16's post, I'm beginning to wonder Grin

CSIblonde · 04/09/2018 23:17

I look after a team of marketing guys all under 30. All of them struggle with basic stuff like "here's a fiver get some haribo, maltesers & m&ms for team treats.' I got 3 tired bananas & some value custard creams:they "couldn't find" the sweets aisle.

BertrandRussell · 04/09/2018 23:39

“I look after a team of marketing guys all under 30.“

Hmm
ChiaraRimini · 05/09/2018 01:45

My Ex was like this. That's why he's an ex.
He is still the same apparently, the kids told me he bought one of those tortilla dinner kits and didn't realise you also need to buy meat and salad to go in it...only found out when he asked one of them to make dinner with it.

pallisers · 05/09/2018 03:29

Can I just point out I once went to a school parent's evening & suddenly realised I had no idea which teacher I was there to see. I'm female, the working parent, and never do the school run. This was for DC3, and I forgot they'd just moved up a year.

Do children where you are move up a grade/level at random times in the school year/terms (this always seemed to happen in the Enid Blyton boarding school books - I found it quite confusing as a child :))? Otherwise how could you possibly not know? Your child starts in sept and is in grade/year x. The following september unless you have had a massive discussion about holding back or moving up an extra grade, he is in grade x plus 1. It happens at the same time every year?

I don't think not knowing child's school year is a hanging offence!

I agree it isn't. But i know the school year of children I am mildly interested in. I can't imagine not knowing the school year of my own children - it is a huge part of their everyday lives.

namechangedbcos · 05/09/2018 05:59

He is not stupid. He is very clever. He has now made sure that you never send him out on any errand...

8FencingWire · 05/09/2018 06:30

Haven’t read the whole thread, it fills me with rage.
But I’ll share this: when my DD was about 10, I sent her to a new corner shop to get some bread.
She did not call to ask which one, she came with a seedy wholemeal one and asked if that’s alright, she picked the one closest to what we normally would have (they didn’t have the one we normally buy).

If a child of 10 can do it, and show willingness to learn, how come a grown up man can’t?

dorisdog · 05/09/2018 07:19

'Getting everything wrong isn't a man thing. It's a 'not giving a shit thing.' Hear, hear.

This bullshit is not endearing or funny.

tillytop · 05/09/2018 07:35

I'm not sure about the 'not giving a shit' though. Sometimes it's so bad I feel it must be calculated. Even dd has said on occasion, dad must be doing it on purpose. He swears blind he doesn't and that he's "not that deep", it's just "genuine mistakes". What to believe?

AsleepAllDay · 05/09/2018 07:37

If a man can hold a day job that contributes half the family income, survive up to this point and have a partner and kids (so he's relatively able to live, yeah), he can go shopping and follow a list. If it was a task at his work he would probably put his mind to it and ace it