To be hurt and humiliated that I did not receive a farewell gift from colleagues

[flippyfloppyflower]

Just that really. Left my old post on Friday for a new post starting on Monday and I received nothing from my old colleagues. I wasn't expecting a party but a card and a small token would have been appreciated.
I know this is a first world problem and I shouldn't let it get to me but it has. I also realise that they don't have to so anything but I always thought it was nice to be nice (which they weren't obviously )

In my department at work you don’t even get a goodbye/ good luck email after 10+ years of service.

I've always got a leaving card and gift.... I'm not suprised you're upset.

Although I also I'm one who organises cards and collections for others.

We have a leaving presentation too...So if this didn't happen I'd wonder why.

I wonder if it's because people in the OP's department don't think that she's really 'leaving' seeing as she has a new post within the company.
We haven't been told whether the new job is in the same building or another location and that may make a difference to people's attitudes; if she's still going to be around on a daily basis but just in another office even if it's on a different floor then maybe they don't consider she has actually left.
I'm not saying it's anything other than a bit shit, though, if these events are usually marked.

At my last employment, (mostly men) birthdays were never celebrated, but I did get loads of cards when DS was born after some traumatic events. Moving to another job or office within the company was not celebrated either - occasionally you might go for a drink with a few of your old colleagues but that was it.
But leaving the company and retirements were marked unless the person going made it clear they didn't want this. Normally the leaver would invite the office to his or her leaving drinks party and colleagues would present them with a card and smallish gift in the pub....

I got a card when I left Ford decades ago, signed by all in the office, above which was also written "Good Riddance"

I don't mean to be horrible...but they either didn't like you or had an awful sense of humour.

Even if they didn't like you that was very mean. I've been glad to see some people leave...but would never write that. It's just rude.

I was with my last job for 17 years. On maternity leave and was asked what I needed for baby but I couldn’t think of anything at the time. Was told that’s ok we’ll get the money for you. After my maternity leave officially finished I decided to hand my notice in as looking after my disabled partner and a newborn plus travelling for work would be too much. I never got baby money or leaving gift. They were glad to get rid of me I think because I wasn’t in the gang lol I had better things to do than get drunk and party until the early hours. I’m not saying that doing that in your late 30’s is bad, just not for me anymore.

I was just ‘let go’ in June after several months of sick leave for a chronic condition - which led to my having to leave.

10 years of paid (and often unpaid) service and nothing but a rather abrupt letter from my boss saying your job ends on....

Two weeks later I see a note in the newsletter asking parents and colleagues asking for contributions to leaving collections for two other members of staff.

Broke my heart 😢.

I think if you're leaving after months off sick it's a bit different.

When you've been away for so long people put you out of mind and if they've had to cover your work or part of it...they're not feeling much like contributing because it feels like you've already left.

Tartyflette

I wonder if it's because people in the OP's department don't think that she's really 'leaving' seeing as she has a new post within the company.

But OP said she's going to a completely new job, not just changing department.

The same happened to me after 15 years working at the place so I empathise. Onwards and upwards to better things and nicer, more thoughtful colleagues. Good luck in your new role OP 💐

I find leaving speeches very cringe-worthy so I will try my best not to have a send off when I leave my current job. I also only give money to collections for people I like. If I'm forced to put in money for someone who is a knob, I put in 50p. I find this funny as most people are on 60k pa. If I like someone I'll put in a tenner. I really won't care if I don't get a leaving gift or card.

When i left my job last year to have a baby most my colleagues I'd spent 2 years with literally didn't even say goodbye when I walked out the door. But I did hear them planning a party for a coworker leaving the week after me, and saw all the pictures on Facebook.

Makes me think I'm not quite as nice or as liked as I'd like to believe.
Had the best year of my life with DH and DS though, so fuck em.

One job I left I had a couple of colleagues take me out for a drink. There was a very small gift - small in comparison to what others had got - which was obviously small because people hadn't wanted to contribute. Only about 3 people turned up for drinks. I hadn't realised I was so unpopular and was gutted. Another job I left on maternity leave: absolutely nothing although I did get flowers when the baby was born. I didn't go back to work so never got a leaving do there either.

In my place of work there are constant envelopes going round with collections for random people, it’s quite annoying as paper money is expected. I often try to hide if it’s not someone I directly work with.

I only once refused to contribute for a team mate as she was a work shy, piss taking princess and I was glad to see the back of her.

When I went off on maternity I didn’t get anything and I was wondering... but then a few weeks later a big box arrived in the post. So something might wing it’s way to you once they realise op

How long had you been there ?

Almost 10 years ago, when I left my bank job to go on maternity leave, I got a big bunch of flowers and (most probably, but I don't remember very well) a card. After I had been kept working at the front counter , serving a huge queue of customers until the last minute - I was meant to finish at 1 pm as I had an antenatal appointment at 2 pm. At 12:55 I was still working, my manager just came and told me "that's you, I will take over and balance your cash, enjoy your maternity leave, hope all goes well, off you go", gave me the flowers (and the card, if there was one) , helped me get my jacket and my bag and two minutes later I was outside the bank, on my way to my antenatal. My colleagues were busy serving the customers so I couldn't even say good bye to them. I have to admit that during my last month of work I did receive a few presents (small gifts, a couple of cards with vouchers) but they were from some customers who I had been dealt with for years by then.

A couple of years later, when I left that job for good (voluntary redundancy) I received again a bunch of flowers and a card, but I didn't really expect anything since during my last couple of weeks there I had been asked to cover a position somewhere else and those people didn't really know me, they just knew I was to be there for 10 days and that's it. They did sign the card though and I am sure that the manager bought the flowers using money from their "office expenses account", but everyone wished me well and there had been cakes and biscuits brought to the office that day. It did feel quite surreal though.

All the best in the new job, OP, and I hope the people you will work with will be friendly and pleasant to work with.

Could be people got busy and forgot but sounds like a snub which is curious given the way you describe your social interaction with them.

Do you intend to keep in touch with anyone there? Do you have a real friend rather than just a friendly colleague who you can ask about this - maybe in a jokey way. Ask them outright why you didn't get a card or gift if other people usually do then they can either be embarrassed or put it right.

My best friend just left her job of 4 years. They had a collection for her and her boss bought her a red letter/buy a gift experience for a spa thing. When we went online to check out the details, the original deal had actually expired and the exhange voucher only had 2 months left (usually 24months!) her boss had obviously kept the collection and recycled her an unwanted gift!!

Try not to let it get to you. When I left my last job, my colleagues gave me a wreath. Yes, that's right, the kind you put on a grave.
Hope you find nicer people to work with in your next post.

When I went on maternity leave 5 years ago I got bugger all. Someone left 2 years before me to have a baby and they received a card & flowers.
And a member of staff left before the summer and she got a card & small baby gift.
I’ve been the only one (yet) to go back to work after may leave too

Don't take it too personally. Someone I was in charge of left, and to be honest we didn't organise anything because we were just too tired after chasing deadlines. We did like the guy though!

I feel for you OP it's not very nice. I had a similar feeling recently when I got engaged on my holiday. Girls from other departments gave me cards which I put up on my desk but didn't get a card from the girls I sit with.

To make matters worse another girls got engaged at the beginning of the year and we all chipped in for a gift and signed a card. So i was half expecting a card at least but got nothing.

I know these things aren't important in the grand scheme of things but you can't help but feel a little hurt.

I hope the ladies at your new job are as lovely as you

I left for my second maternity leave and got a card and pressie. Fine, no problem. Then when dd2 was about 10 months old I happened to text a work colleague I had considered a friend who told me that she'd sent a card round and got it signed when dd2 was born but forgotten to send it to me and had thrown it away. That really hurt for some reason. Never heard from her again.

Did they forget you're leaving? Sounds like it.

I think that was really mean of them if they usually do it. We all chip in the same amount for birthdays etc, regardless of whether we like the person or not, because it's a bit cruel not to isn't it? And if you would accept any gift you should be willing to contribute to others.
I have had a mixed bag of leaving gifts. In the last 8 year's I have left 4 places, 2 of which I was at for 6 and 11 months respectively so didn't expect much if anything. The first one I got some lovely flowers and a card. Second one I got some lovely flowers, chocolate and a card. Third one I got literally nothing, and nobody said goodbye when I left really (although I hated them all and the feeling was mutual). And finally, I got a card and a token present. I hated most of them there too and the feeling was mostly mutual haha.

Although funnily enough at the place where nobody I worked with said anything when I left, my boss caught me as I was leaving and said how fantastic I was and if I ever wanted another job there to let him know. And when I was looking for another job and asked to use them as a reference, they did indeed offer me a job. I declined though as 90% of my co-workers were vile. Management were decent though...It's funny how some jobs seem to pool awful people and others are the opposite.