To be hurt and humiliated that I did not receive a farewell gift from colleagues

[flippyfloppyflower]

Just that really. Left my old post on Friday for a new post starting on Monday and I received nothing from my old colleagues. I wasn't expecting a party but a card and a small token would have been appreciated.
I know this is a first world problem and I shouldn't let it get to me but it has. I also realise that they don't have to so anything but I always thought it was nice to be nice (which they weren't obviously )

herroyalnotness - The tea towel is on its way. I have put you on a pedestal: so convenient when the ceiling needs a coat of emulsion.

That’s awful! Here have some flowers instead I had the same earlier this year after over 15 years in the same place, contributed to every collection for birthdays, births, leaving etc and got sweet F.A when I left - the manager didn’t even bother to say goodbye! Should have filled my handbag before I left....

Not going to see them again so why spend money on them?

What a fucking awful attitude.

What a horrible bunch OP! Here’s a massive hug and for you.

Good luck in your new post and goodbye to bad rubbish I say! Xx

Sorry you received no recognition of having worked with your (now) ex-colleagues. My story makes me smile wryly: I left while on sick-leave and the money that people donated for my leaving present (I heard from a colleague that they HAD collected for me) was diverted towards someone else's present ! Had no real problem with it, ... just thought it's typical of some people ! From experience, I know that some places are a delight to work in, others not so much !

The tea towel is on the way. So practical now you mention it. I have put you on a pedestal: so convenient when the kitchen ceiling needs a fresh coat of emulsion.

Sorry it happened to you OP. I've stopped giving money for leavers presents as my job has a high turnover of staff (NHS). Instead, evertime someone leaves, I put a fiver in a tin in my drawer. I shall be rich by the time I leave/retire/get sacked.

I once got £14 and a card - honestly, it reflects that you made a brilliant decision to leave, hardly leaving wonderful colleagues behind! The best thing I have done work wise was quit that job!

You're not alone op. I was medically retired due to terminal illness last month and all I got was a card. I got on well with 99% of my colleagues and was quite taken aback that I didn't even get a bunch of flowers. Yet staff that have transfered to other offices that were only there '5 mins' got flowers and chocolates and a gift!

YANBU. Has happened to me too so I understand just how you feel. I left a primary school after 4 years ( part-time). I didn't expect a collection from colleagues or a gift from school but I think I was entitled to, at the very least, an email from my line manager acknowledging I was leaving, thanking me for my contribution or wishing me well.
No. Nothing. On my last day, I did my job and left my staff card at Reception on my way out. No card, no email, no handshake, no conversation. I was upset.
This was 2 years ago and I still haven't been able to let it go! I did feel embarrassed and humiliated to be treated by my employer with such complete disdain.
Worse still, I had to go back every day as my DCs were still pupils. I've perfected a great blank stare for the head and deputy if they are out on the gate.

Didn't anyone say sorry you're leaving? (I haven't read the whole thread.)
I can understand if there's big turnover of staff, otherwise they were rather mean imo.

OTOH, as an older person, I had many jobs. The last was my favourite - I was there 22 years and did all the collecting for presents and parties for others before me . So they gave me a nice party and present . Early retirement
The only person missing was my boss, who I'd never liked anyway. And I was upset by this.
Many years later I found two lovely written speeches and an apology from him. Still don't trust him though.

When I leave / change job, I expect to get nothing. This is because it is always me who organising the collection, card, desk decorations .... so if nobody else has shown that initiative in the past*, then they're not going to do so for me either!

(*Example - I just came back from holiday, somebody leaving three days later, we all knew about it for weeks - and nobody had organised anything whilst I was away. Had to get a card and circulate it licketysplit.)

That said, we do have a sliding scale of effort - how long you've been there; whether you are leaving completely / going to a different building / same building different team; how much you are generally liked. Some leavers get more effort than others

We recently had a girl leave the site where I work to go to another site in same company. She thought nobody knew she was going but it was the worst kept secret and everyone knew! Sadly she was so unpopular and a known troublemaker that nobody wanted to organise anything!! Unfortunately she’s still managing to cause chaos from 200 miles away 😂😂

My sympathies OP. I know how you feel as I had something similar quite a few years back. I'd worked in as shop for 6 years,there were only 6 other members of staff, including the manager. The previous manager,who I had got on really well with,had left 4 months previously and the new manager had made it clear that she didn't like me. On my last day there, only one other member of staff bothered to give me a card. The manager didn't even show her face,and I had the feeling that she had stuck the knife in about me to the rest of the staff,hence none of them showing up. They were obviously more concerned about sucking up to her than snubbing me. There was no farewell gift,nothing. I felt really pissed off.

Sorry to hear this I know how you feel this happened to me after working in a college for 40 years I reached the conclusion that ot was them and not me who were horrible , I would never do that to someone so that makes me the better person ,it’s not easy to put it behind you and move on but that’s what you have to do , you don’t need thoughtless people in your life, good luck for the future

I think it depends upon the dynamics of the team. I have worked for the same company for 33 years but we are a very small team spread geographical 150 miles apart. I actually wouldn't expect anything, because the people I work with now and I have never forged deep friendships with, purely due to put work dynamics.

Had I worked in a large open plan office for years, contributed to other leaving gifts and had some close friendships and laughs over the years I would be gutted.

I got a card when I left Ford decades ago, signed by all in the office, above which was also written "Good Riddance" .....

That does sound upsetting. My last job was made redundant at the end of my mat leave, and I finally had a 'leaving party' when I'd not been in the office for over a year and even then they actually got me cards and a leaving present, which I kind of didn't expect. Does sound like you're well out of there.

I got nothing either after 7 years hard graft, a colleague said she was supposed to get me a bouquet but forgot! I was really upset at it, as everyone else who left got flowers, card and a gift

Maybe they completely forgot you were leaving (clutching at straws) and today they're thinking where the hell is flippyfloppyflower and now thinking OH CRAP. Let's hope they rectify it, and if they don't fuck em.

Head up high, enjoy the new job. Don't take this poor experience with you. You are not defined by the past.

Have you got a new admin / Team assistant/ office manager / whoever normally organises it? We had this happen to a few people having babies, leaving etc. The new assistant didn’t realise or was too busy to do anything. I hope that’s what it was anyway.

How awful OP. You poor thing. That's so bloody mean.

I've left more than one job where I was overlooked for leaving cards and gifts, despite akways contributing to others leaving/birthday collections. I was the nice but quiet one that never got into an in-crowd or work clique.

But then I got a job in another office for another firm. I was only there 6 months (had to leave to have a baby, discovered my unplanned pregnancy 3 wks into my new job!) and I was so moved, but so embarrassed at the same time, when they organised a surprise tea party for me and absolutely showered both me AND the bump with cards, gifts, flowers and balloons.

Nobody had ever treated me like that before. Obviously I'm aware of how lucky I was and burst into tears in the car when they helped me load all my hundreds of gifts in. I really didn't feel like I deserved it. I kept thinking "why the f*ck have they done all this for me?!" it makes no sense.

They even sent more cards, flowers and balloons when the baby was born, even though they knew I wasn't returning.

I hope your new job OP brings you some amazing new colleagues like my last work place.

As a team lead I saw plenty of bullying behaviour with collections. We always used to do cake and a card for a team member's birthday, where the team would each donate a small amount. Certain cliques would 'forget' to donate for people who weren't in their group, so I would top up the collection to make sure they knew the birthday boy or girl were unaware of their spiteful behaviour.

However we have had a few leavers who left on a comp, or after some sick leave, and we were totally unaware in some cases that they had been terminated until weeks after. When it's hush-hush and you don't have that person's contact details there is little you can do.

Personally I think it's a bit mean & stingy of your colleagues to not give you a farewell card and even a box of Maltesers!
Best of luck in your new job. Hope it all goes well and don't give your ex-workmates a single thought cos they're not worth it.

My husband made redundant after 18 years. He didn’t even get a card!