To be hurt and humiliated that I did not receive a farewell gift from colleagues

[flippyfloppyflower]

Just that really. Left my old post on Friday for a new post starting on Monday and I received nothing from my old colleagues. I wasn't expecting a party but a card and a small token would have been appreciated.
I know this is a first world problem and I shouldn't let it get to me but it has. I also realise that they don't have to so anything but I always thought it was nice to be nice (which they weren't obviously )

Not nice, but sod them you're better off out of it. Buy yourself a nice gift to celebrate your new job. 💐

I left a job of 10 years. When it was clear nothing had been organised I invited some colleagues for a drink. Only 3 turned up. When I went to the loo they ditched me.

Thank you for the kind words. To answer a few queries I have worked there going on 5 years and am going to a completely new job and not just changing departments. They always have a collection when someone leaves (even for folk who have worked in the team for a couple of months). When someone leaves there is always a departmental lunch, a card, a gift bag with something nice, box of really expensive chocolates and a huge bouquet of flowers. Well I say always - not in my case it appears . If we hadn't gotten along I would understand it but there were no such issues.

Hopefully my new colleagues will be lovely.

To PPs this has also happened to I send a very un-MN hug and the biggest bunch of

I hate to say it but I read this type of thread with an open mouth.
The lack of introspection!

If the norm is that everyone chips in to get a leaving present but you get squat all, I wouldn’t be blaming anyone. I would be wondering why. And the chances are... if everyone always gets a leaving gift but I didn’t, it was because I wasn’t at all liked.

In which case, the silver lining is that you can start afresh at your new job.

That’s awful. I used to be the one-that-organised birthday presents etc,,but when no one did it for my birthday, gave up. Decided it wasn’t worth the hassle.

That’s harsh, Dilemma. I’m sure the OP would have some inkling if she was generally disliked at work.

That is absolutely awful flippyfloppyflower, I'm so sorry, how hurtful.

Dilemma that's just sticking the boot in and quite nasty. Maybe I'm just sensitive as I spent years wondering why people didn't seem to like me and why I got bullied. One autism diagnosis later....

When I left my last teaching job the people who'd contributed to a leaving gift asked for their money back.

Sounds really horrible Flippyfloppy. It's not the lack of presents that hurt, it's the feeling that no one cares!

I was once presented with a rather measly half-hearted leaving present (better than nothing I suppose!) and the person presenting it said "really sorry, this would have been more generous but someone stole money from the collection fund"

Dilemma that's nasty.

I've never worked anywhere where somebody didn't get a leaving card and gift. Even when one girl who was basically horrible, not well liked, didn't pull her weight, left... she still got a card and gift. I think that's completely shocking.

Is there anyone who is usually responsible for doing this at your work OP? Have they been off recently and could have fallen by the wayside by some of the others? No excuse but could be a reason?

Oh FFS Dilemma

It’s not nasty. It really isn’t.

So many platitudes when actually none of you know the OP in any shape or form.

Just look at the facts. And the facts indicate that there is a problem.

Come on. We have all worked in offices. In what scenario would you NOT contribute to a leaving gift if you otherwise would?

It definitely sounds a bit weird of them.

I mean, did you literally walk off at the end of the day and say “See ya then” and nobody acknowledged the occasion at all or wished you well or said keep in touch?

I’d have been really upset too OP.

Passive aggressive FB post is the only way forward in this situation if possible.

That is mean OP. YANBU. What a bunch of twats.

Hopefully your next workplace will have nicer people.

Good luck in your new job!

Some people are just shit. In our office I'm always the one in charge of buying the gifts, so am always the one making up the cost and contributing more. Someone else does the birthday cards. I've NEVER had one....

That's shit OP! Really bad. Could it be that the person who normally organises leaving presents/cards was away on annual leave or someone that that somebody else had it in hand?

It seems very strange that you received nothing when normally it's a done thing.

Good luck in your new job.

That = thought

Miserable people! Better off out of there

Babyshark - It used to be normal for there to be a collection for a gift and a card signed by everyone for someone leaving a school. People just put what they wanted to in the collection. It was what schools did. It even applied to those leaving under a slight cloud. I guess it was just professional, civilised.
The first time I found something different was in a smallish school (360 pupils) with divisive undercurrents in the staff room. Just weeks after I went there everyone was asked for £10 for a (lovely and hardworking) leaver I hardly knew. Someone else was very hard up so we told the organiser we'd put £5 each. It was accepted without argument by the man who'd asked for £10.
Years later the staffroom had become more toxic with a silly HT who joined in the bitching. A longserving person who wasn't part of the ingroup was ill for months and then retired. It was clear that 30 years of service was going to be ignored. Several staff were too new to have really known her and others couldn't see that she deserved anything. A few people contributed small amounts when I organised a collection. On the day she retired I sent her flowers from 'the school' to wish her well on her retirement. I heard she burst into tears because she knew it would be mainly from me. I've had more acknowledgement since from places where I've only been for a few terms.
Somewhere along the way the tradition of formally recognising someone's years of service had become confused with only bothering about people in your ingroup. Maybe IABU.

This happened to me once before. Someone left our team about a month before me and there was a collection for him, as per usual in our team, and he got some aftershave £30 bottle and some other little bits.

When I left I got a little box of those milk tray chocolates and the person in charge had put banners on my desk and told me just to take them down at the end of the day and put them im her desk drawer!!

It can just be as simple as the usual organisers having been swamped with work/ real life issues.

It’s usually me and another colleague who organise collections in our team. But in the past week we have both had dramatic events in our personal lives so a collection for a leaving colleague very nearly slipped through the net (thankfully a third colleague did realise and is sorting something, but it will probably be smaller and more last minute than usual and that’s isnt a reflection on them at all)

That is sad and mean. Even if the card/collection had been nicked you would explain this to the leaver and quickly get a new card.

Ilovesooty - that's quite shocking - did you give a really damning leaving speech?? I hope you didn't return the money!

I had 1 job like this. I was there nearly 4 years and got zilch. Not even a card.
However, a kind lady gave my partner (her boss) a card from her, which i appreciated.
My current office is huge and I've made it clear from the offset that I don't want cards, presents and will sign cards but not put money in. I would need a second job to fund collections... .I'm one of the few part-timers.