You need to teach your boys life skills

[necromumda]

Do we? (well yes, obv, but specifically I mean?)

Following on from the "isn't he good" thread and as a result of a conversation with MIL, I was wondering why we feel the need to emphasise teaching boys.

(Note here, I do not mean they should be waited on and believe they need to be independent and self-caring obviously)

MIL was saying to me the other day that I need to "start teaching DS life skills like - how to iron, how to boil an egg" etc. etc.

While I agree that any person of any gender should be able to do these things, I have NO recall of actually ever being walked through this or "taught" this as a girl.

How did you (females) learn these skills? Were you "taught" or instructed or did you just learn from having to just start doing them?

Why do we feel we need to walk boys through these tasks and just assume girls will pick them up? Or do we?

I was taught how to iron and how to cook simple meals as a child. I’m a woman. My mum didn’t just give me an iron and expect me to crack on with it.

I was taught by my mother and also at school.
At school, I learned sewing from the age of 5 - and cooking and housekeeping from age 11.

This may explain why I am so bad at ironing

Yes I was taught. I’ll be ‘teaching’ both my kids (boy and girl).

I clearly recall having had lessons at school in washing and ironing clothes. My domestic science teacher taught me how to iron a shirt correctly when I was about 12. I remember her saying to the class (all girls) that we would need to know how to iron our future husbands' shirts!

I think I learned by watching my mum.

Yea was going to say did not listen to the motherly teachings therefore DP irons and I’ve never boiled an egg

They get taught a lot about cooking & using a sewing machine in school.
My mom tried but utterly failed to teach me how to use a sewing machine, but she did teach me to hand sew. DS refused to learn to hand sew, the others haven't asked to learn. But DD learnt some basics from Brownies/Guides.

DS was taught how to iron by Cadets. He's better at it than me.
My mom taught me to iron, boil an egg.
I could ask DD how she learnt to iron, we ironed Hama beads constructions, so she must have learned plenty from watching that.

I've taught all of them basic cleaning things.

Oh god yes, I learned all kinds of things as a child. Using a washing machine, cooking simple meals, ironing...all kinds. I was definitely shown how to do things/hovered over at first.

I think anyone who doesn't teach their kids these things (barring unusual reasons of course) is doing the kid no favours.

Oh yeah... I remember teaching 9yo DS recently to iron something (can't remember what, but there were safety lectures).

Learned to do things like use the washing machine and iron from my mum and grandad (apparently I iron shirts "the military way" )

Did cooking lessons at school?

I was given some instruction when younger.

I'm now giving both DCs, male and female, guidance in life skills.

But then, both DCs were helping with household chores from a young age, and DS was quite easily washing the pots yesterday, along with other bits and bobs of housework. (We generally do our main housework on Saturdays, all muck in and get things cleared up together.)

My dad taught me - my mum was busy climbing the career ladder.

From no age he had me with him, watching and doing the bits of jobs he was doing that we’re age appropriate. As a toddler, I stood on a chair whilst he cooked, and counted out spadefuls of cement and sand as we made concrete together to build a wall. By 10 I could change a car wheel, spark plugs and oil. I was cooking meals by 11. Ironing my own uniform by 12. Etc etc

I bought my first house at 19 and knocked down walls, screeded and boarded floors, rewired, replaced plumbing, fitted a new kitchen.......

Have done similar with DD. She’s helped in the kitchen since she could stand. Could scramble eggs start to finish from before age 3. Can make a basic cake at 7, knows what goes into the foods she likes to eat and safe knife skills.

Absolutely no reason the same shouldn’t apply to boys.

Girls and boys should both be taught life skills by their parents. I have b/g twins. Both left for Uni knowing how to wash and iron their clothes, cook basic meals and clean up after themselves, how to use a screwdriver, change a lightbulb etc.

My mum taught me - I remember starting off ironing hankies, and putting stuff in the twin tub.

But all kids need to learn to cook/clean/do diy/basic car jobs irrespective of their chromosomes

I was expected to help my mother so I learnt by doing it.

I haven't yet taught my teens to use the washing machine... I'll wait until they're about to move out. DD would repeatedly wash single items with buckets of detergent, what a waste of time, energy would result. Damn machine would be put on at 11:30 most nights keeping me awake. I'd rather we adults kept control and avoid huge rows for as long as possible.

I used to 'help'my mum when I was little and just sort of learned by being at home with her.
I am a 70s/80s kid and recall good times chatting to my dad while he made fritters and omelettes and I also helped.
Everyone did what needed doing. I always liked cleaning though and used to love the Hoover! At 11 I was amazed to start secondary school and realise we were being taught how to make tea and toast as our first cookery lesson. Some kids genuinely didn't know.
I have adult dc and ds has always liked to cook .he's lived away from home twice so is pretty independent . Dd will clean and cook but doesn't enjoy it lol.
They have been treated equally.
However I always seem to be the one who cleans the loo!

I was taught sewing, ironing, washing, and shopping by Mum. Cooking by myself, gran and school, and cleaning by dad (his Mum had died when he was 12).
I then did everything from about 11 years old while Mum and Dad worked more than full time.
Daughter isn’t interested in learning anything but has had some cooking lessons at school.

I was actually taught to iron by my dad!

No, he never did it at home - that was “woman’s work”, ditto washing up, childcare, etc. etc..

However, he was in the Army for much of my early years, and he learned there how to iron uniform and shirts to perfection. He passed that training on to me (not my brother, incidentally ).

I was taught how to iron and sew by my mum. I wanted to sew things.
Cooking was a bit vaguer. Mixture of watching, helping, following recipes and asking questions

My mum taught me the basics, i mostly taught myself using Delia Smith's original cookery course book.
I was very sophisticated at 18 with my goulash ;)
My 4 kids have all been taught/made to do household stuff
I dont iron on a weekly basis so haven't taught them that.

I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately as my house is always so much messier than my friends’ and my mum and my sister have messy houses too. I wasn’t taught to do any housework. My bedroom was always a pigsty and my mum got mad at me instead of helping me and giving me ways to keep it tidy - she didn’t have that knowledge herself as the rest of the house was a state and still is today.
I’ve taught myself gradually over the last 10 years since leaving home. Decluttering, not buying crap in the first place I’m getting good at. Had an iron for around the first 8 years but used it only for weddings so now we just have a clothes steamer.
I remember my grandmother coming around to help my mum with the housework once a week when I was a child. I’ve never seen my mum do a deep clean I don’t think. She had a poor-ish upbringing so is addicted to shopping and not getting rid. I wasn’t taught to do laundry or anything. I think some people just don’t have a role model to teach them in that way (my mum is a great role model in some ways, just not when it comes to housework! Or exercising 😄)
I’m now a mother of 2 (boys) and have had some epiphanies about my childhood!

I did most of my learning through watching my parents. I don't ever remember being sat down and shown how to do things. I've always been the kind of person who just learns things as I go along, give it a try and see what happens type.

Children definitely learn a lot in life from watching rather than being taught. They will learn an awful lot from seeing their fathers never do domestic tasks and their mothers doing everything.

To add they both can happily use the washing machine but often forget to hang their clothes out .so I do it whilst complaining to the cat