To ask you what you think of people who don't drive?

[Landtosea]

So I'm late in life to learning to drive for a variety of reasons, a lot of them to do with driving causing me quite a bit of anxiety. I don't generally tell people this is this the reason though.

So recently I got a new job and it was raised in the interview that I don't drive - driving wasn't listed as an essential criteria but it was asked as part of the application process. I still got the job but it was mentioned that I should start learning, which I have but it's going pretty slowly, unfortunately. As part of my job about once a month I have to go to a site which isn't easy to get to on public transport and if colleagues are going they always offer lifts, and I feel so embarrassed and wonder if they think I'm a total loser for not being able to drive. I try not to tell people if I don't have to as I'm really ashamed of it but obviously in this context it's not possible for me to hide it. My colleagues always offer and are really nice about it but they probably judge me or talk about it behind my back (or perhaps I'm just projecting). They get their mileage paid for by work but I know it's still annoying to drive others and they probably will get annoyed about it if I don't get my license soon.

I know a lot of people on this forum talk about CFs who always expect lifts but I hate getting them and will turn down social invitations saying I'm busy because I know people often feel obliged to offer lifts if I explain it'll be difficult/impossible to get there. I don't want to be seen as a sponge and although a lot of people say not driving doesn't inhibit them, it definitely does for me and I can't see how it doesn't for others - so many people's houses and activities aren't easily accessed by public transport unless you're in London.

What do you think of people who don't drive? Do you think less of them or am I just imagining it?

In your circumstance I would think highly of you actually ,you are learning (it doesn't matter that it's going slowly everyone does it at their own pace) and you are actively resolving a situation that has been hard for you ,I would honestly think it's great

I will absolutely admit I think very little of those who say they don't drive and rely either overtly or by hinting on others for lifts. People like that I consider entitled and arrogant so if you've heard people comment about non drivers I would expect it's mainly that group they are referring to.

Good luck with the lessons

In the country I grew up the public transport was dire so everyone went for their driving test on their 17th birthday. So it was really unusual to meet an adult who couldn’t drive. But in the uk lots of people don’t learn - it’s expensive and the cost of insurance for new drivers drivers can be ridiculous. You are trying your best so pat yourself on the back and keep going!

It’s the “I don’t need to drive” attitude that drives drivers mad when having to give lifts. Well clearly you do because you’re in my bloody car AGAIN.
Totally. I don't mind giving lifts to friends for social things if they manage to do their general life without needing lifts all over.
I do mind if it's a case of people going on about how they don't need to drive but they clearly do because they are forever asking for lifts and favours.

I wonder how they get by! Unless you live in central London I think a car is a needed life skill, I couldn't imagine not being able to do it.

I'm the only one in my family to have learned to drive and it took me well over 100 lessons . My DH drives but prefers to cycle everywhere although when we visit his mum who lives about an hour's drive away, one of us drives there and the other drives back. I have a battered old car, which I keep because my mum is elderly and I drive her to the shops, church etc and for the odd day out. In some ways I wish I didn't have a car as it would force me to get off my lardy arse and walk. We have great train and bus links so a car isn't really essential.

It depends where they live. In the middle of a city with great transport links? I wouldn't think twice. If they lived very rurally and relied on people around them for frequent lifts, I would judge. That said, I wouldn't judge if the reasoning was that they couldn't drive due to disabilities.

I can't drive. I've no plans to learn either, even if I could afford it. My bf drives, but I don't rely on him, and I put petrol in the car if he does drive me places. There's good transport links where I live and everything I need is within walking distance. I know that I'd be less fit and get lazy if I could drive. It's not the be all and end all.

My brother cycles everywhere, no car. He's very fit, and thinks nothing of cycling 50+ miles to an event, it no great distance to him.
He does have a full driving licence. Just doesn't see the need for a car. Very good for the environment to cycle.

Hmm, it's tricky. On the whole I think nothing of it, apart from to consider it sad that I wouldn't have been to a lot of the places I have or done the things I have if I hadn't been able to access them by car. And also to feel glad that dh and I take it in turns to do long journeys for holidays and visiting family etc so we can do a lot of miles in a day and give each it her a break etc. I certainly don't mind offering lifts if I can, but as everyone starts to have dc it becomes harder.

But, I can't understand a couple of people I know not learning. They have no medical issues, access to finances and a car but bi will to learn because they live in London. Which just seems short sighted to me because it means moving out of London/getting a job outside of London (as they hope to do) is reliant on learning in a pressurised way. And they hope to have dc soon and I would never ever been able to learn with young children, so I feel like saying 'do it now!'

OH's mum lives 11 miles from the nearest station that has only a few trains a day. There are about 2 or 3 buses a day that come through her village. We would never see her if we didn't drive.