Bloody entitled grown up children!

[PhaedrasChocolate]

May very well get lambasted for this, but i need to vent.

I have a 21 year old dd. She is currently transferring to a different university as she hated her course last year. She's been staying with her bf all summer, she doesn't live with me.

I woke this morning to a WhatsApp telling me I need to hurry up and log on to some student accommodation portal and accept being guarantor for her new place...

She's never asked me to be guarantor. This is the first I've heard of any if it, I've had no emails, don't know anything about the portal.

Apparently if I don't do it by the end of today, she's got nowhere to live She was breathtakingly rude to me on the phone and I'm really pissed off.

Anyway. My point is this. Am I the only parent of dc this age that thinks they are a generation of selfish, entitled little shits? Are they all like this? Me and my mum shouted at each other for a couple of years until I left home, but we had a good relationship after that and still do.

I just don't know how to deal with her. I love her madly, we used to be so close, and then around 17/18 it all changed. I foolishly thought I'd got away with it because she was still lovely as a 15 year old....

How do I deal with this? I don't want to alienate her any more than I have already, but she treats me horribly a lot of the time, and I don't want to put up with it.

At the risk of being dim, how are students paying rent themselves? When I was a student, my parents paid my rent as I had no income, so how could I be paying for it? I thought that it was basically down to parents to pay for their student child unless you can prove they are destitute and you are eligible for some kind of benefit.

On this basis I have already discussed with DH that our kids will probably need to go to uni locally and live at home as we won't be able to afford accommodation.

It does sound like she is taking you for granted, but then I'm surprised that this is the first time you've had any conversation about her accommodation with her. As a parent I would have thought I would have at least been asking her what her plans were for the following year and helping her to sort something out. I know she's a grown up but I would still expect to give my young adult kids support with major life decision stuff they may not have dealt with before.

bonbonours. Students get a maintenance loan which is meant to cover rent and living expenses, all students can claim it but students whose parents earn more claim less on a sliding scale. DS couldn't claim enough for his rent and living expenses so we paid most of his rent, we gave him the money and he paid it, DH was a guarantor for him but it was ok as it was for just him and not the whole house rent.