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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
9amTrain · 26/08/2018 13:35

Yanbu she's an interfering bitch.

GooodMythicalMorning · 26/08/2018 13:37

I thought that too @ivykaty44.

Aeroflotgirl · 26/08/2018 13:37

She sounds unhinged.No don't apologise, and your dh should be supporting you. She was a very rude and bad host, even if she is on a diet, I always make sure my guests are well looked after, even though i am eating much less.

ivykaty44 · 26/08/2018 13:40

Gooomythical, well I’m glad it’s not just me that noticed the identical posts ☺️

zzzzz · 26/08/2018 13:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worstmotherintheworld · 26/08/2018 13:41

I really don't see how you are expected to apologise when your DH took part in most of the things that would have wound her up. I thought he was a star for sharing his food with you but he should stick up for you a bit more and explain to his DM why she was out of order. She sounds like she is stuck in the 1950s.

madja · 26/08/2018 13:44

I'm amazed anyone can think that MIL behaviour was in any way ok.
She deliberately underfed OP, and called her a pig.
It doesn't matter what size the op is, she has the right to eat what she likes. MIL doesn't get to control this, and then have a fit because it didn't work and op bought fish and chips.
I'd have eaten them at the kitchen table, nevermind the garden.
Calling family members pigs is never ok.

Catspyjamazzzz · 26/08/2018 13:45

Well done you!

My MIL was obsessed that all women should be ‘slimming’ all the time and in fact I should not eat ANYTHING when visiting.
‘Oh you had a big meal last night, you can’t want any lunch etc’ (actually a tiny meal 16 hours ago hasn’t kept me full actually).

It’s mean and it’s being a bad host. Limiting the food for one meal isn’t going to make you magically skinny.
I think I actually ate more calories at MIL because of all the secret snacks I ate Confused

ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName · 26/08/2018 13:45

I can’t believe the amount of people who think you were rude. Surely any rudeness on your part is negated by how utterly and disgusting rude your MIL was first. Good on you for getting the fish and chips and eating them in her garden. Balls to her! Hell would freeze over before I’d ring her.

I’m very grateful there are precisely three men in my family, it’s all sisters and aunts and no one would ever think to feed the three men more because of their penises!

Ofthread · 26/08/2018 13:48

I can believe it Reggie, there's people on here who think she is a pig too. This is where the next penis portion MILs come from.

SnuggyBuggy · 26/08/2018 13:50

I wouldn't have offered her any chips, she obviously doesn't like food.

Ofthread · 26/08/2018 13:52

I had a penis portion MIL, now divorced thank god. I sometimes cook myself a massive roast dinner for one, the cat gets some meat and I get all the roast potatoes in the world. I am still around 10 stone, not massive, but glad I have left the absolutely uptight world of counting potatoes onto plates for good.

Figgygal · 26/08/2018 13:53

So she called you a pig and you are to apologise? No way!!!!!

Mumminmum · 26/08/2018 13:54

At no point did OP say that she is a lot smaller than her DH. I am the same height as my DH and the same goes for a lot of couples and even if she was 2-3 inches shorter why would that then mean she should have smaller portions? What if he had been sitting on his arse all day while she had been doing chores all day? Surely she would be more hungry. And I agree with previous poster who suspect that all those posters who are saying that men do need more food than women are also guilty of doing penis portions. Don't do it! It is very rude!

Ofthread · 26/08/2018 13:55

Dudes, it's sexist. The scene of the meat being dished out and the women getting the lesser cuts. Fuck that shit.

astoundedgoat · 26/08/2018 13:58

There was two of you in it, OP. You were both very rude to each other.

Your MIL has no business taking charge of your diet in such a passive aggressive manner, but unless your DH is a waif, he should be consuming more calories than you per day, because men are physically bigger than women. I think it's 1800 calories a day for women and 2400 for men?

If you are overweight, drinking heavily (i.e. getting drunk ) and having fish & chips after you have already had a roast dinner probably isn't going to help. She was rude to call you names, but you were already deliberately antagonising her.

There's probably no need for you to call and apologise for your rudeness as she was rude too, but after the dust has settled, it would be no harm to offer an olive branch and try to get along a bit better in future.

DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 26/08/2018 13:59

I wish I had your courage OP. Shortly are we got married, Mr D and I travelled south to stay with my grandmother (they hadn't previously met). On our first morning there, Mr D was greeted with a full cooked breakfast made exactly they way he likes it (she'd checked with me the night before). I was given one slice of cold toast and told that there was probably tea in the pot.

Mr D laughed at first because he thought it was some sort of joke. It really wasn't. We had to stay for a week and I was bloody starving the whole time. Every evening we would have to go "for a stroll before bed" so I could get something to bloody eat. It was miserable. I'd always known that I was her least favourite grandchild, but it had never occurred to me that I was ranked below an entire other sex.(GM only had granddaughters, so it was never clear before this).

I didn't dare make a fuss, so I said nothing. We never went back though and that was the last time I ever saw my grandmother.

Original poster
AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 14:01

Oh my! There's even troll hunting, I'm usually such a thread ninja!
ivykaty I've searched. I can't find another the same. There are quite a few threads about penis portions though (and one really shocking one where it was the work canteen servers Shock)
I'd had a significant amount to drink. That always makes me hungry. Without it is have been fine with the redistributed food.
Seriously considering the strap-on idea Grin

OP posts:
TinklyLittleLaugh · 26/08/2018 14:01

Penis portions is something my DM does, though slightly less blatantly since we had a massive row about it; full English breakfast provided for DH and the DSs, toast for me and the DDs. There wasn't enough for everyone apparently. Presumably she forgot how many grandchildren were coming to stay. And then the bacon and sausages randomly only fell on the males's plates

But Fil used to do it too. I'm not a massive eater and he's a seriously crap cook so I was happy not to have to eat a large portion of his terrible food until he did it when I was breastfeeding and very hangry.

mosessupposes · 26/08/2018 14:03

asoundedgoat she doesn't even say she was drunk. Having a little bit too much to drink is not drinking heavily OR getting drunk. I can easily see how you go to the pub, have a few drinks and decide that fish a chips is a good idea after having a smaller meal earlier in the day.
MIL was rude, let her call first. And hopefully she'll have learnt her lesson.

Original poster
AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 14:03

don'tdribble and tinkly that's dreadful!
Please tell me the men shared?

OP posts:
maxthemartian · 26/08/2018 14:03

our MIL has no business taking charge of your diet in such a passive aggressive manner, but unless your DH is a waif, he should be consuming more calories than you per day, because men are physically bigger than women. I think it's 1800 calories a day for women and 2400 for men?

But so what? It's one meal! Firstly it's not up to the MIL to enforce, and secondly she has no idea what either of them have or haven't eaten that day, or how much physical activity they've undertaken.

I don't tend to eat much during the day, I like a large dinner. If someone gave me penis portions I'd be bloody starving!

HashTagLil · 26/08/2018 14:03

Dont

Your new husband sat there every morning stuffing his full English down whilst you got given a slice of toast?

FASH84 · 26/08/2018 14:05

Everyone has always been given the same in my house unless someone says, I'm not very hungry can I just have a little bit etc, it's rare that secunda are not available if people want them, I tend to overestimate amounts. With meals for a big group I put everything on the table and dresser and let people help themselves to whatever they want in their chosen quantity. MIL is being rude. I'm not sure I'd manage a roast and fish and chips in one day though!

Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 14:05

What do you strap on? Or am I missing something?