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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
BabySharkDooDooDooDoo · 28/08/2018 10:26

worra i found it on the mirror

Aeroflotgirl · 28/08/2018 11:06

The extremely miniscule portion size, MiL gave op op was, Bastard, actually it have a big fat message to op, and was extremely rude.

Lozz22 · 28/08/2018 14:18

thought this thread was going to be a how big is too big thread

So did I!! I’m totes disappointed that it isn’t!!

MrBeansXmasTurkey · 28/08/2018 14:58

I'm shocked the daily Star didn't mention Penises at all! Wtf is up with their editors these days? Normally they will squeeze a penis in anywhere or at least a cheeky nipple.

woollyheart · 28/08/2018 16:19

MIL needs to apologise! This would really put me off visiting her for meals ever again.
My place is small, but we usually put food out and leave people to serve themselves. If it is impossible to do in the space, we plate up a smallish equal sized serving for everyone but keep plenty back for seconds for people who are still hungry.

OliviaStabler · 28/08/2018 18:42

surely most people just put out the food for guests to help themselves to. Otherwise, how on earth do you know how hungry they are? I absolutely hate anything 'plated up' being given to me, for that reason

Well my dining table is tiny and the kitchen is very small so I plate up. However no guest goes hungry in my house, I don't needs loads of serving dishes piled with food to be a good host.

CoughLaughFart · 28/08/2018 20:11

surely most people just put out the food for guests to help themselves to.

I’m pretty sure ‘most people’ is a massive exaggeration.

Ofthread · 28/08/2018 22:12

The plating up or not is a class thing, isn’t it?

That Star thing was a bit shite, didn’t even pick up on the sexist aspect, how surprising.

SnuggyBuggy · 28/08/2018 22:28

It depends on what the meal is but I definitely favour letting guests serve themselves

londonmummy1966 · 28/08/2018 22:34

Very simple - every birthday or Christmas or Mothers Day present from now on has a pig theme or is a diet book - on the grounds that not everyone can carry off curves - I'm sure pigzilla will get the message....

AnxiousPeg · 28/08/2018 22:42

Oh god, is everything a class marker on MN? I'm pretty sure people can step in and out of typical class behaviour depending on what is practical at any given time. We used to have a smaller house and smaller dining table - therefore plating up in kitchen made sense. Now we have more space for serving dishes... Have we changed class?!

Thesearepearls · 28/08/2018 22:54

Sometimes politeness just saves us, doesn't it? It saves us from being interfering but well-meaning, and it saves us from being mean with food and it saves us from saying or doing things that could cause an irrevocable rift.

Here there's just been a massive failure of politeness. On, may I say, both sides.

You cannot want OP to have a massive rift with your PIL. What would be the point of that? They are, much as you might despise them, your family. If you cause a rift with them over something as trivial as how many roasties you get, you are causing harm. That harm isn't to you (although it could be, depending upon whether or not you want help with your children, whether you want your children to form good family relationships or not). Primarily it is causing harm to your DP who has already asked you to make up. You're forcing him into a choice between the family he has chosen and his birth family. Why? Over a roast potato?

AnExcellentUsername · 29/08/2018 09:18

Not over a roast potato. Over the fact her MIL CALLED HER A PIG.

Oh wait, I forgot. OP admits they are overweight so that means they are fair game. 🙄

GreenTulips · 29/08/2018 10:44

If you cause a rift with them over something as trivial as how many roasties you get

So it's OPs fault her MIL gave her a small portion because MIL thinks that's ok as OP is 'fat' and needs an older person to look out for her and treat her like a small child?

It's not OP causing a rift it's MIL!!

How dare someone decide what you should or shouldn't eat as an adult!

bastardkitty · 29/08/2018 10:57

You're forcing him into a choice between the family he has chosen and his birth family. Why? Over a roast potato?

^ way to completely misrepresent the whole situation!

MingeUterusMingeMingeYoni · 29/08/2018 10:58

Plus, roast potatoes are the food of the gods and worth causing a family rift over. Clearly only someone on glue would think that's what's actually happened here, but even if it had, personally I'd be right behind OP. With a roasting pan.

subspace · 30/08/2018 13:48

This thread is the gift that keeps on giving!

I'm fat, there's no denying it. Fat people burn more calories just to maintain the same weight. Like the OP, I'm active, and burn 2500-3500 calories most days. So a gracious host who wasn't trying to put her DIL on a diet would just serve normal, or larger portions.

I live in a small house where we're lucky if we can squeeze guests around a table AND all the dishes to serve themselves. We get around that by doing a kinda half and half job, meat and stuffing plated in the kitchen, potatoes, veg, gravy on the table to help yourself. Family and guests are always asked to come to the kitchen to say what and how much they'd like of whatever is being plated up. Surely that's not rocket science. And there's always pudding, of various portion sizes available.

Only a truly terrible host would leave a guest hungry after a meal. I'd be upset if my guests brought back fish and chips after my meal because I was upset at myself that I'd been a poor host

fattyboomboomboom · 30/08/2018 18:16

Glad this thread is still going Grin

It's about infantilising OP because she is fat. I truly don't understand this "ownership" of the fat.

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