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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
GreenPimpernel · 26/08/2018 12:48

My siblings and I have to point out to our mother that, yes, her father got the biggest portions and often the only meat as the only breadwinner in a very impoverished household in the late 1940s and early 1950s, but the people she is feeding in 2018 often include a male accountant and journalist, and a female tree-surgeon and junior doctor.

Elephant14 · 26/08/2018 12:49

Yeah, ring up and apologise for her calling you a pig ... erm, hang on ...

Cupoteap · 26/08/2018 12:49

Penis portions? So if you have a penis you get more? Tell her you have one and have been meaning to tell her!

CoughLaughFart · 26/08/2018 12:49

Your h should have asked her wtf with regards to the portions- especially as hers was bigger than yours.

Why? The OP is an adult with a fully functioning set of vocal cords and did a perfectly good job herself.

Wasn't there somewhere out of the house where you could have eaten the fish and chips?

I rather think that would have defeated the object.

MamaNewtNewt · 26/08/2018 12:49

Good for you! She has no right to police what you eat or to stand in judgement on your body. I'd say the ball is in her court and she should be getting in touch with a heartfelt apology - and a box of chocs Smile

Thisnamechanger · 26/08/2018 12:49

OP just take the phone off the hook and snuggle down with some anadin extra and a bag of crisps, hot chocolate, movies and tell DH he's welcome to join when he gets off his hippy hump horse. Grin

Gersemi · 26/08/2018 12:50

Not sure why you need to apologise when your husband was at fault too in a way?

In what way? None that I can see.

Presumably he was equally responsible for the fish and chip buying and eating?

Dollymixture22 · 26/08/2018 12:50

Not sure what you would say on this phone call - sorry things got a bit heated but I was really hungry, please don’t call me a pig again.

That’s the most polite thing I could think of saying! She owes you an apology for being passive aggressive the pun agressive aggressive!

She is a very poor hostess.

Elephant14 · 26/08/2018 12:51

What does he think about his mum calling you a pig?

Let me guess: (a) OP has no sense of humour
(b) She took it the wrong way
(c) MiL didn't mean it
(d) Give her some respect she is an old woman

And other tripe.

Fluffyears · 26/08/2018 12:51

@rainingcatsanddogs they ate it outside in the garden. It’s in the OP.

Bumpitybumper · 26/08/2018 12:52

Good for you for confronting her after she insulted you. It is outrageous that she has treated you so badly as a guest and the pig comment is disgusting. I would be telling your DH that you are awaiting an apology from her for her behaviour.

CoughLaughFart · 26/08/2018 12:53

Presumably he was equally responsible for the fish and chip buying and eating?

You’re assuming I, or anyone other than MIL, thinks either of them are ‘at fault’ for that.

CoalTit · 26/08/2018 12:53

Good for you, op! YANBU. Do not apologise.

MaryDollNesbitt · 26/08/2018 12:53

She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside.

I would honestly never speak to her again. Vile woman. Tell your DH the wee troll can go play trip-trap with somebody else, 'cause you ain't interested in crossing that particular bridge ever again.

Unless you are watching what you eat and politely request a smaller portion, there is no reason whatsoever to be giving anybody a smaller portion unless they are a young child. Stand your ground, OP. She was way out of line.

Flowers for you. Please don't let a nasty piece of work like that get to you.

brizzledrizzle · 26/08/2018 12:53

My MIL is awful, she'll have a miniscule portion for lunch and then sit there glaring at your plate and saying how she's eating too much.
It was rude to get the fish and chips and then eat them in the garden.

CoughLaughFart · 26/08/2018 12:55

It was rude to get the fish and chips and then eat them in the garden.

That was the point.

BrokenWing · 26/08/2018 12:55

DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her.

I think you were rude bringing back fish and chips to their home without calling and asking them if they wanted you to bring them some back too, that the kind of thing a child living at home does not an adult visiting parents.

I think you dh should call her and apologise for that on behalf of both of you (as it is her mum), but also make it clear she was out of order for going in a huff about her ridiculous portion sizes and also the pig comment and owes you an apology.

Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 12:56

your mil is really rude.
tell her to give her point of view on mumsnet

DerekTheBrave · 26/08/2018 12:56

Thought this thread was going to be a ‘how big is too big?’ thread 😂

Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 12:57

do the men folk do physical jobs?

bastardkitty · 26/08/2018 12:57

I think it was a bit rude to go and get pissed and then eat in her garden. < this irony, right?

Hell would freeze over before I would call. Does your H usually struggle with realistic consequences for his mother's awful behaviour?

Confusedbeetle · 26/08/2018 12:58

oops. She was very wrong to portion control you. but you were out of order to go to the pub and then get fish and chips. You were just playing into her hand. Unfortunately, alcohol is a bad mix for tact.
I am not surprised your DH is stressed. You and she need to grow up a little and behave. This is going to escalate. Neither of you can unsay what has been said. It's up to you really, do you want things to be smoothed or not?

Original poster
AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:58

He's not expecting me to apologise. He wants us to 'talk it out' i have refused. He didn't hear her call me a pig. I told him this morning. He's cross but I suspect he won't say anything

OP posts:
Slartybartfast · 26/08/2018 12:58

were you snorting op?

GreenPimpernel · 26/08/2018 12:58

Derek, the phrase 'penis portions' (which I've only ever encountered on here) always gives me a disturbing vision of a giant penis on a plate, cut up into slices like a sort of flesh Vienetta, but garnished with parsley.