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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Carrrotsandcauliflower · 26/08/2018 12:58

She is a bit of a cow.

GreenTulips · 26/08/2018 12:58

It was rude to get the fish and chips and then eat them in the garden

Not as rude as underfeesing firsts and then insulting them.

They were hungry and proactive and paid for their own food.

There was a similar thread on here a few weeks ago and everyone urged the OP to go and fetch a load is shopping etc.

Lovemusic33 · 26/08/2018 12:59

It’s none of her business what you chose to eat, if you don’t mind being overweight then that’s your choice and not hers. She had no right to serve you a child’s portion of food because she thinks you should be on a diet. I love the fact you ate fish and chips whilst she watched 🤣🤣

Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 12:59

What exactly are you supposed to say if you ring MIL?

GreenPimpernel · 26/08/2018 13:00

But why does he want you to talk it out? He was just as involved in the situation as you, and she's his mother, and he's the one all stressed. He's not one of those tiresome men who think that emotions are for women, therefore handling any bumps in family relationships are delegated to them?

ivykaty44 · 26/08/2018 13:01

I had to look at the date of this thread, as I thought I’d stumbled across a zombie thread...

It’s identical to one posted some months ago down to the small portion, men getting more, op being overweight by her own admission, her MIL wishing she would crash diet

Op is it the second time you’ve posted this ir is it the second time your MIL has done this?

Whizbang · 26/08/2018 13:02

GrinGrin Penis portions! I love it! Grin This is exactly what my mum does too. Hope you don’t mind but I’m going to shamelessly steal that expression to pull her up on it!

I think you handled it brilliantly, and your DP sounds a good sort too sharing his plate with you. In front of her GrinGrin, love it! She must’ve had a face like a slapped arse!

I agreed with all of the others. Do not apologise! What have you got to apologise for, she’s the one underfeeding her guest and then calling you a pig.

In your shoes I’d gently explain to your DP that it is not ok for her to insult you, and he needs to tell her that. He can do this gently too...it sounds like she does this through habit and odd old fashioned beliefs that penises require that extra bit of energy (Grin sorry, still sniggering at this and your brilliant label penis portions!). But you need to get through to him, and him to his mum, that you will not be apologising, you have nothing to apologise for, and it is not acceptable for her to insult you, also that your chosen diet is none of her business.

Next time you visit I suggest taking a bumper pack of crisps and cake for regular snacking purposes. It’ll drive her up the wall!

InfiniteVariety · 26/08/2018 13:02

She was horrible to try to shame you by giving you so little food you either had to go hungry or ask for more. It was judgemental and unkind and as others have said, she is an abysmal host. If it were me, hell would freeze over before I apologised.

Mumshotel · 26/08/2018 13:03

Calling you a pig is really unacceptable. Perhaps ring her and tell her that. Or better still make husband to it.

Mumshotel · 26/08/2018 13:04

I really want a roast now

Pengggwn · 26/08/2018 13:05

She called you a pig because you don't want to go hungry?! That would be it for me until she said sorry.

LeftRightCentre · 26/08/2018 13:06

He's lost the plot. She called you a big and he wants you to apologise? Nah. Good on him for equalising the food. I wouldn't go back to eat in a place where I was given a smaller portion for being female.

hungryhippo90 · 26/08/2018 13:06

You did all you could in the situation.

My DH has started to examine what ur plates to see that portions are even, and divvy up the extra on his plate.

MIL and PIL aren’t giving as many penis portions anymore, as they always comment, and he always says, well Hippo doesn’t have half as much on her plate.

Doesn’t help MiL doesn’t have much of an appetite for proper food, loves her cakes and sweets after though, whereas I don’t care about dessert but I love my dinner!

It used to really upset me. Bad news is I now eat loads to make a Point. I can’t give DH any food back without feeling like their points proven lol.

I do think you’re heroic for eating fish and chips in her garden as she glared at you though.

Singlenotsingle · 26/08/2018 13:06

I've just booked Sunday lunch at the local pub! Grin

DerekTheBrave · 26/08/2018 13:06

gives me a disturbing vision of a giant penis on a plate, cut up into slices like a sort of flesh Vienetta, but garnished with parsley

Green into my head pops an image of a long line of men brandishing their penises, all with a sleazy look on their face. And the caption ‘how big a portion would you like?’ 🙈

PristineCondition · 26/08/2018 13:07

If I told dp his mum called me a pig he would be straight round there asking her why

Original poster
AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 13:08

Nope first time I've posted this. I name change very regularly, did get the term penis portions from mumsnet!
I was cross enough and tipsy enough to be fully aware that i was being rude eating in the garden. DH went along with it.
The men don't do physical jobs. I'm a shift worker. My fitbit reckons i average 16-22000 steps per shift.

OP posts:
bastardkitty · 26/08/2018 13:08

@Mumshotel Grin

Knittedfairies · 26/08/2018 13:09

I don’t know exactly what your DH wants you to ‘talk out’ with his mother. She called you a pig; if there’s any talking to be done, it’s on her.
I do like that he shared his dinner with you though!

CandleWithHair · 26/08/2018 13:09

MIL is rude, you were rude back with the fish and chips, and then MIL was even ruder (albeit with a touch of provocation), but it seems no one is asking you to apologise.

Talking it out with her seems sensible to me. Maybe not today, but fgs, why are there so many stubborn drama llamas intent on turning a disagreement into a feud without even trying to smooth things out first? She’s your family, like it or not! Have it out with her once, and soon. If she continues to be a dick about food after that, then you can feel justified in giving back as good as you get.

And don’t get your DH to do it, that’s pathetic. Ask him for his support if the initial conversation doesn’t get anywhere.

Bluelady · 26/08/2018 13:10

If anyone called me a pig I certainly wouldn't be the one calling to "talk it through".

supadupapupascupa · 26/08/2018 13:11

Your weight is absolutely non of her business!! And I would tell her so!! I would tell her that in your house everyone is welcome to be the person they want to be with help when it is asked for. Rudeness and judgement is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. Her behaviour will only ever be taken to mean you are not welcome or that she considers you to not be good enough. Unacceptable. Just NO!

Seniorschoolmum · 26/08/2018 13:12

Agree with BlueLady. Tell your dh MIL has gone too far and it’s not open for negotiation.

OkMaybeNot · 26/08/2018 13:13

Someone needs a slice of cake and a cup of stfu. Cheeky bitch.

LeftRightCentre · 26/08/2018 13:13

It doesn't matter if the men do physical jobs or any of that, it's just rude to do that to guests and sexist, outdated bollocks!

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