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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 12:30

Yes the poster who said her served her and her dd toast while her dad and husband got a cooked breakfast, Wholey unacceptable. Better food was served for the males, whilst Females were not. I am shocked at tge blatant sexism from women of all people! Setting a very poor example.

Birdsgottafly · 27/08/2018 13:53

goodgirls, in your opinion based on your interpretation of what you've read and the amount of threads you have read.

MN, at one point had me wondering if my appetite level was normal and if I had some type of condition going on.

There is never one truth, when it comes to such a situation.

But IME, Anexcellent's statement was correct.

Cagliostro · 27/08/2018 14:00

Late to the thread but :o at 'flesh viennetta' that's an image I'll never recover from 🤢

And YANBU

ZanyMobster · 27/08/2018 14:19

She was so rude especially as it was done to purposely prove a point.

If we had friends over for dinner I would serve identical portions to everyone unless asked for something specific. Close family I would serve based on what I know they would want, ie Christmas dinner, my mum and SIL will only have a small amount of roasties but all the veg, my brother and DH will have loads of potatoes but much less veg. The portions are the same roughly but just based on what they have, certainly not because I would dictate how much an adult needs to eat.

It is odd you brought fish and chips back to their house, we are really close ad comfortable with my family and I still wouldn't do that, I would ask them first, if DH tried to do that to my family I would definitely say something. I think he should get a back bone, he's not stood up for his parents or you in this whole scenario.

TheNavigator · 27/08/2018 14:32

To be fair to the MIL, the OP does sound pretty piggy - she says herself she is fat, so she does obviously overeat.

OP, maybe you have a problem with portion size? You'd be surprised how little a sedentary woman actually needs, portions have become too large in general, hence the obesity epidemic. By choosing to be fat, you are also choosing to store up a range of health problems in later life. Eat less, move more and stay off the drink.

CoughLaughFart · 27/08/2018 14:50

Christ, what a miserable old cow.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 14:54

That is not the point TheNavigator, the MIL did not give op a normal adult female portion, but a portion that would barely touch the sides of a 4 year old's stomach. Surely eating that little portion, would cause op to snack on bad foods, rather than have a bigger portion of dinner and not snack. However it is op decision what portion she has, despite what MIL thinks.

helpawomanout · 27/08/2018 15:25

Yes let's just starve all the fat people and call them pigs - that's definitely the way to go.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 15:28

I find that if I have a slightly bigger portion, I don't snack or feel tempted to snack.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 15:30

Interesting point from the trainer in my Martial Arts centre, eat enough so you are about 30% hungry at the end. That is what I always strive for.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 27/08/2018 15:30

By choosing to be fat, you are also choosing to store up a range of health problems in later life. Eat less, move more and stay off the drink.

As a functional, intelligent adult woman I'm pretty certain OP already knows this. It's not yours, her MIL's or anyone else's place to point it out to her, though. Nor is it her MIL's place to dictate how much she can and can't eat; that's utter tripe and needs to be called out.

Good on you OP for calling her out on her ridiculous behaviour. I eat larger portions than my MIL and she's forever commenting "your metabolism will catch up with you soon", as though I'm meant to moderate my intake to be more ladylike. Utter bullshit.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 15:31

It is very rude of hosts to enforce their views onto guests, they have to be good hosts and always be generous with their hospitality, which op MIL was not.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 15:33

Yes Idontbelieve, nobody comments on large men do they! Bet if op dh was large (he might be, we don't know), she would still serve big portions.

cyantist · 27/08/2018 15:43

OP, maybe you have a problem with portion size?

I have a very small appetite generally but even I'd have a problem with a portion size that involved a single roastie, one slice of meat and 2 tablespoons of veg.

I am ashamed to admit I do penis portions though Blush. In my defence that is based on my knowledge of the individuals appetite rather than their gender (it just so happens that every single female I know has a smaller appetite than their partner). However that involves giving a decent portion to everyone and maybe one extra roastie to the guys. Males in general need to eat about 20% more. But if the OP and her partner between them had enough for 2 reasonable sized meals he must have had about 500% more, not 20% more.

LeftRightCentre · 27/08/2018 15:52

Eat less, move more and stay off the drink.

Eat right, exercise, die anyway. Some people prefer to enjoy life how they see fit, given that death is a certainty for all of us. So be it. It's a free country. The MIL isn't interested in respecting that of her guests, and hence doles out tiny amounts of food to those she deems don't conform to her judgements. That's shit hosting.

CoughLaughFart · 27/08/2018 16:00

I am ashamed to admit I do penis portions though Blush. In my defence that is based on my knowledge of the individuals appetite rather than their gender (it just so happens that every single female I know has a smaller appetite than their partner).

That’s different. You’re serving two individuals different portions based on your knowledge of their appetite, rather than serving a man’s portion and a woman’s portion.

Dilemmacentral · 27/08/2018 16:53

Eat right, exercise, die anyway. Some people prefer to enjoy life how they see fit, given that death is a certainty for all of us

Bit depressing that you see eating right and exercising as akin to not “enjoying” life.

Dilemmacentral · 27/08/2018 16:55

* (it just so happens that every single female I know has a smaller appetite than their partner).*

That’s not a coincidence. Most women naturally have smaller appetites because they are smaller and have smaller stomachs!

goodgirls · 27/08/2018 16:57

* (it just so happens that every single female I know has a smaller appetite than their partner)

Do they though? OR do you just serve penis portions and they are too polite to tell you how unreasonable you are? Seems unlikely that every single woman you know has a daintier appetite, unless you only know identikit women?

Most women naturally have smaller appetites because they are smaller and have smaller stomachs!

Purest bollocks.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/08/2018 16:58

But surely that’s up to the woman herself and what she feels she wants. Why not put all food in the middle and everyone help themselves?

Bluntness100 · 27/08/2018 16:59

I never understand why people portion food for guests, I always just put it in platters or bowls on the table and let folks serve themselves. Who am I to decide how hungry they are or how much they should eat at that one meal.

Unless serious financial constraints and not enough to go round, then it's very controlling to decide who eats what. Just let them help themselves

Dilemmacentral · 27/08/2018 17:00

But surely that’s up to the woman herself and what she feels she wants. Why not put all food in the middle and everyone help themselves?

Agree.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 17:01

Exactly Goodgirls, that is what we are conditioned to believe, seeing the amount of sexist crap on here, that men need more calories than women. It is relative really, and depends on your body size, shape and the amount of exercise you do. For example, a 6ft 2 female woman who is sporty will need more calories than a 5ft 5 man who does little or no exercise.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 17:03

I usually plate up the meat, as some will take loads and leave nothing for others, but the rest, like roasties, veg and the sides, people help themselves to.

Theweasleytwins · 27/08/2018 17:10

My dm used to plate up in the kitchen- we all do our own now though

The men always got more at family gatherings as my nan's dont have big appetites and both grandads eat more
My df is also a foot taller than me, dm and dsis