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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Penis portions

443 replies

AldiAisleOfTat · 26/08/2018 12:23

It's a MIL one sorry!
Generally I like MIL. Our relationship isn't that bad, however, I'm fat and she really really can't cope with the idea that I'm not crash dieting. She is permanently on a diet.
We stayed with them yesterday. Lunch while traveling and then dinner there. Roast chicken.
I was served a single roastie, a slice of breast meat and 2 tablespoons of veg. Mil had slightly more. FIL and DH had laden plates.
After looking in shock I asked for some more, she said there wasn't any. DH then split his food with me, leaving us both with reasonable sized portions. Later on because of the atmosphere we went off to the pub and had a little too much to drink, we got fish and chips on the way home, and ate them sitting in her garden while she glared through the kitchen window.
She then made some comment about me being a pig once we were inside. I replied that if she was a decent host who served adequate food to both sexes then we wouldn't still be hungry, and left as soon as we were safe to drive (midmorning)
DH is very stressed about it all and wants me to call her. I have no wish to.
WIBU?

OP posts:
Thursdaydreaming · 27/08/2018 00:26

The comments on this thread are unbelievable.

The MIL called her a pig!

"Oh well you were being a pig"
"You may have misconstrued the comment"
"Kindly explain to MIL how being called a pig made you feel"

Bloodly hell. What's next? Someone gets called a bitch - "that's not insulting, maybe she is a dog lover and it's a compliment". Someone gets called a cunt - "what's wrong with that, she might be saying you are warm and strong like a vag".

AnExcellentUsername · 27/08/2018 00:33

It's the law on MN that anyone who survives on more than a lettuce leaf per day is a disgusting glutton.

Thesearepearls · 27/08/2018 00:43

This kind of feels like a thread where being rude and offensive is normalised

The OP is overweight and not concerned about that. Fair enough - it's her body. The MIL gave the OP more stingy portions (which might actually be an attempt to help, rather than ingrained sexism. Although it might equally be ingrained sexism). In any event that's very rude and inhospitable. No-one ever leaves ours feeling empty - although they might well be feeling unpleasantly full

The events that followed show no-one in a good light.

I do think some apologising and making up is in order. It might be really nice of you OP if you could phone your MIL and make friends and explain why you behaved as you did. That would open up lines of communication and let her apologise to you for behaving as she did

bastardkitty · 27/08/2018 00:50

Oh bloody hell, not you again!

Suresurelah · 27/08/2018 02:34

I cannot believe some PP are calling you rude because you bought fish and chips Hmm.

Firstly, she was so passive/aggressive with serving you such a meagre portion and thought you would be oh so polite and suck it up. Both you and your DH, didn’t play along with her little game and she then got pissed off. To the point where you went out as the atmosphere was tense.

Don’t call her, she should be calling you.

Be prepared OP, that when she gets pulled up on calling you a pig....she’ll deny, deny deny. Then cry and then turn this whole thing on you.

She sounds quite toxic to be honest.

MountDiogenes · 27/08/2018 02:41

Don’t call her OP - and if she calls, get your husband to tell her you would come to the phone, but you’re too busy eating a three-tiered wedding cake to yourself
Grin

Thesearepearls · 27/08/2018 02:44

It's not the buying of the fish and chips

It's the eating of them in the host's garden which kind of says outright that your food is inadequate

It is certainly true that the food was inadequate

But it's a bit rude to say so.

Areyoufree · 27/08/2018 03:19

A SINGLE ROASTIE?!? YANBU.

SnuggyBuggy · 27/08/2018 04:15

I'd normally agree that it's rude to imply to the host that the food is inadequate but that meal was taking the piss and MIL knew it.

toolazytothinkofausername · 27/08/2018 08:29

@PositivelyPERF forget an Irish MIL, it's a Jewish mum that will give you plenty of food :)

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 27/08/2018 08:37

Of course MIL was being rude. It’s not up to her to decide who needs what and that men should have more.

The fish and chip incident didn’t cover you in glory but you were pissed off. Your DH was also guilty of that. I would talk to her and just keep telling her that she’s sexist and rude.

Honestly, serving the men more is so archaic.

Dilemmacentral · 27/08/2018 08:38

It's the law on MN that anyone who survives on more than a lettuce leaf per day is a disgusting glutton.

Total opposite I think.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 27/08/2018 08:43

Your MIL was rude to serve you a tiny portion and rude to call you a pig. Getting fish and chips is hardly the crime of the century, you were hungry! Don’t you dare apologise. She should be apologising to you!

Aridane · 27/08/2018 08:48

Neither you nor MIL have covered yourselves with glory

Frogscotch7 · 27/08/2018 08:51

Yanbu and I think eating fish and chips in the garden was an excellent way to deal with your incredibly rude mil.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 09:03

Thinking about it now, your dh distributing his food to you in front of her would have got your point across very well, and maybe saying " ah that's better, my portion would not be enough to feed a 3 year old".

Babyblues052 · 27/08/2018 09:05

I'd have the bare minimum contact I could get away with. If someone called me a pig would I fuck phone and try sort things out. She should be grovelling for being a disgrace.

Laiste · 27/08/2018 09:24

Question for the posters who believe it's right to serve more to the penises (peni?):

Do you serve only half a cup of tea to the women as well? Because the men need more calories than the women? No? But that's exactly what you're doing with the food ...

and it's true that there's a good chance your guests are laughing about you when they leave

SnuggyBuggy · 27/08/2018 09:26

Also don't women need more iron? Shouldn't they have more meat?

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 09:29

It is very rude to do this, even ruder if in a group, and the men get much more than the ladies.

onetimeposter · 27/08/2018 09:31

They dont do fish and chips round here on a sunday. How odd........

Aeroflotgirl · 27/08/2018 09:32

I can't get over one poster, whose mother did this, and served her dds 5 and 2, significantly less than their baby brother who was 14 months old. That is a disgrace, and the messages that is showing to her dds, that they as girls are less important.

Laiste · 27/08/2018 09:32

And the fish and chip thing: how about this:

A woman goes to stay at her mum's with her DH. In the evening they pop out and have a drink or two. They fancy fish and chips on the way home so they buy some and sit and woman suggests sitting out in her mum's garden to enjoy it. Her mum glares out the kitchen window and calls the DH a pig when they come in!

Sorry but who's the one being rude here? The DH was rude?????

GreenTulips · 27/08/2018 10:39

It is certainly true that the food was inadequate

But it's a bit rude to say so

Thing is unless you pull people up on their rudeness then nothing will change.

People like MIL see it as their duty to change and fix others, she sees OP as fat, so decides to help her with food portions, she thinks calling her a pig will embarrass OP into dieting.

This is wrong in so many levels, OP is a grown woman who can manage her own food intake and should not have to put up with anyone telling how to live her life. It's her choice and no one else's.

Liquoricelake · 27/08/2018 10:43

I don't know where the OP is but you can certainly get fish and chips on Sunday in Scotland.