To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

[IhaveNCdforthispost]

And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

My mum was devastated. My dad hit the roof. They did support me.

Inwardly be gutted that it didn't happen later in life.

But I'd tell her that DH and I would be there for her and go to appointments etc with her (if she wanted us to).

I'd admit it won't be easy nor will I raise the baby but I will have her and the baby with us and help her as much as possible.

I'd reassure her I love her and think no less of her.

I'd offer to help look after the baby whilst she continues education.

I think there is a fine line between being supportive and being realistic. If dd told me she was pregnant, much as it's her body and I support her right to choose, I would also be very interested in how she proposed it may work. I'm a single mother and have to work full time. We have no local support network and I have no spare money, time or space. I don't have a second child because I cannot afford or want one. If dd were old enough to have sex, she's old enough to do some maths. Supporting her would mean taking on another child I cannot afford and would not choose it i were pregnant.

Blair I had missed that post's full import.

What can be said? My friend who was pregnant at 15 and a mum at 16 is not fairly represented by that at all. Nonsense.

I’d go ballistic. I’d support her. But I’d be very disappointed. That’s the honest truth.

I would hug her. Make her fully aware of her options and consequences. Remind her she has her whole life ahead of her, yes she can still have a life with a child but she must be aware that there would be huge sacrifices.

Life doesn't always go as planned but she/you can all be brave and face this head on and make the best decision. It won't be easy but she will get through it whatever she chooses.
Personally, I would be leaning towards termination but it must be her decision.

I’ve been the 15 year old too scared to tell her parents. I had dd when I was 16. My parents, once they’d got over the initial shock, were incredible. They supported me. Helped with night feeds etc. But, ultimately dd was my responsibility. My parents were not in the position to do all the childcare though.

Had dd came to dh and me (dh is not her bio father but is her dad in every sense of the word. He’s raised her since she was 6) at 15 and told us she was pregnant we would have been disappointed. It’s not the life I would choose for my dd. However, after the shock had worn off we would have supported her in every way we could. We would have helped with what ever she needed. We are in the fortunate position that I would have been able to help with all the childcare while she finished her education.

Dd’s Friend had a baby at 16. With the help and support of her whole family she finished school and now has a good job, a new fiancé, her own home, and a happy and very much loved son. Had her parents and wider family not have been as supportive her life would have worked out very very different.

Having a baby at such a young age is not the end of the world. How the parents of the young lady deal with it is what will make the difference. If she feels emotionally and practically supported having a baby will just be a hurdle to be overcome rather that the end of the road.

I'd go absolutely nuts and I'd be devastated . There'd be no disowning going on of course but I'd be furious

It depends on the circumstances of her pregnancy how I would feel. But I would try and react with calm and love and support.

" I think she's being selfish."

Well yes-if say both parents are in/want to stay in fulltime education, who do they think should support/care for the baby?

No word from the OP?

This is going to end up as an article somewhere!

I'm amazed how many would support. Not in a bad way (the amazement bit!)
My mum would have gone ballistic and thrown me out. She blackmailed/forced me to terminate when I was 29

I don't have a 15yo.

I would be devastated. How I would like to react:
Calm, loving, open, without assigning blame. I'd also ask about the father and how this happened.

And I would do my best to be realistic. Would I be supportive? Yes. Would I babysit? Yes. But I don't think I'd want to raise that baby. And I'd try to be realistic about things like finances, the possible involvement of the father etc.

I would be absolutely devastated tbh. I had dd at 16, and she is almost that age now herself. We’ve talked at length about how hard it was being that age, and while I have never ever regretting having her, it made things so much harder and not a life I would want for her. Luckily she’s very open and honest with me. I would always love and support her, but I would be disappointed.

Why do you ask Op, have you found out your daughter is pregnant? Can we offer you any support?

OP are you the 15 yo?

Oh come in, like ANYONE on here would admit to being furious and throwing their DD out?!

MN is a very self limiting discussion group for these type of things!!!!

I would hold her tight and let her know that come what may she is not alone.

In private I would be very sad and probably cry in frustration that her choices meant a premature launch into adulthood.

I find it odd that there's so much talk about abortion as though it's the only rational option. I'm seventeen and have a beautiful 3 month old boy, I love being a mother and honestly I think it changed my life for the better. I never considered abortion, I'm pro-choice but it just wasn't for me. I don't understand why a baby is looked upon as something so challenging and difficult, sure it can be tiring and hard at times but ultimately having a child is a joy and a blessing and brings so much happiness.

I’d hug her and reassure her that she has 100% support behind her. That I would help her in any and every way she needed me to or wanted me to. I would ensure that she knows that despite her being young, a baby is certainly not the worst thing that can happen to a young teen and that we as a family would do everything in our power to ensure she could achieve whatever she wants in life still. That this is just a challenge and that together we will all rise to it and she will be surrounded by love and support, whilst knowing that all decisions are hers and we will support her in all of them.

Sammy not just MN : I don't know anyone who would do that.

I'd advise her to terminate. I had my own DD at 18 and that was hard enough. I've struggled with depression, work, relationships etc.

It's only 10 years later that it's getting easier..

Grace7 exactly. It’s as if every young mother is looked on with disdain so frustrating.

I'm also pre-choice but I think abortion is very hard on the mother, harder than many people realise.

I have a daughter and I''d support her and help raise the baby, allowing her to continue her education, if that's what she wanted.

I'm sorry I left it so late to start a family. 15 is very young, but there are options to continue with education and a career if you have support.

@OverTheHedgeSammy it’s easy to guess or idealise what you’d do in a hypothetical situation, but when it’s realised I’m sure not every single one of the PP’s who said they’d be unwavering in their support would find it so straightforward.

What if she DOESN’T WANT ONE?

I've read the full thread and I can't find any posters saying they would force their DD to have an abortion if she didn't want one. Am I missing something?