To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

[IhaveNCdforthispost]

And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

A few months after I was 16 I git pregnant. I was petrified of telling my mom.

She didn’t get angry and she didn’t shout at me, she just told me that having a baby at my age was no good for me. That was the end of the discussion, she made various appointments with GPs and clinics and within 3-4 weeks I’d had a termination. She never, ever spoke about it again and nor did I.

I would like to think that if I had a 15 year old daughter who told me she was pregnant I’d actually talk to her and listen to her, explore her feelings and fears etc and let her know that I would support her in any decision she made.

I'd be disappointed. DH would be livid. We do not want any babies at the moment - it was bad enough when my friend brought her DGD for an hour, I was glad when they left. Due to my health I wouldn't be able to look after a baby but I'd want my DD to stay in education. It would be her choice but she would have to look after it.

To be honest neither of my girls want babies and protect themselves against pregnancy.

I'd be absolutely gutted.

But she'd have to live with her decision. I'd help, but I'd be damn certain not to end up looking after her mistake child for her.

I'd be very, very sad for her, the baby, the future. But I would be kind and supportive. I would triple check the abortion situation and if she was just having silly /romantic ideas about having a baby I would very strongly urge her to have an abortion.

She needs all the support and protection you can offer her.

@TaighNamGastaOrt you could go to the police but if the father was close to the same age they wouldn't care

"I'd be absolutely devastated."

Me too & I'd probably just burst into tears.

I'd also be upset if they'd prolonged telling me for such a long time that termination was no longer an option-especially if they were expecting me to do childcare!!

To be absolutely honest, I don’t know. I would like to think I’d give her a hug and tell her everything would be fine, but I would be upset and disappointed, so anything could happen.

I would hug her and tell her she would get whatever support she needed.

I would also encourage her to tell me who the father was in case she had been coerced into sex. If the father is the same age I wouldn't do anything about it but if he was much older I would talk to her about the need to report it to the police.

Sorry, but I'd be at the police station. She's 15. Thats illegal

Yep cos that would help

I would be devastated but would try not to show it. Assuming she had had a contraception fail with a similarly aged partner, I would try my best to remember it's not about me, it's her life and that my job is to support her.

I know people this has happened to and in the short term it's really hard, but in the long term it's just another little human coming into your family - and can end up being very much a blessing.

I notice no one has said they they would encourage her to consider adoption. Thankfully.

Sorry, but I'd be at the police station. She's 15. Thats illegal

Why are you assuming the boy who impregnated her isn't also 15?

Just to add, my friends daughter got pregnant at age 17. They went full ‘we will support you’ and I’m not sure that was best.

There has been never ending stress, with the baby passed around like a hot potato, grandma often carrying the can but now has health problems. Her siblings expected then to babysit all the time. Everyone telling the girl that she’s doing so well, when if she was an adult we’d all be saying stop being lazy and look after the child yourself!

Perhaps support the child in facing some realities would be better? A child has a right to a stable life and not just handed to granny every day.

I would be incredibly disappointed because even though my child is only 5, I'm going to try to educate her about sexual responsibility as early as I can.

Saying that though, I will support her 100% whatever she decides to do.

We have 2 DDs and this is a subject we have talked plenty of times. they know exactly how I would feel, and that they will have to make the decision of keeping or terminating with what both things mean to their live. 2 of my best friends had a baby when they were 16. Both married the dad of their baby and were divorce 1 year after babies were born. both had to find jobs and couldn't finished their studies. 2 other girls of my town, 1 year older than me, had a baby the same year as my friends. Their parents didn't want them to marry the dads (dads' parents didn't want that either). Both girls finish their studies and one went to university, of course with the support of their parents. My DDs know I would like them to finish their studies and go to University if so they wish so they would have my full support. They know as well, I would never force them to marry the father of the child. His involvement would be welcome but that would be the end of it.. if they have to end up together they will.

Why is abortion not an option?

I would definitely encourage abortion but im assuming she is past the 24 weeks as it says she unable to. But I would encourage it absolutely.

And not all these situations are in relationships could easily be a ONS. My exes sister had a baby at 16 he told me shes never told anyone who the father is.

Privately, I would be utterly devestated but I would keep this to myself. I would give her a hug and ask her if she had any thoughts about what she would like to do. I would make it clear that I would do everything in my power to support her whatever she chose be it termination, adoption or keeping the baby. But I would make sure she understood the potential ramifications of each of her options and that none of them would be easy.

I would of course be frustrated that any previous discussions about safe sex and contraception had apparently fallen on deaf ears but again I'd keep this to myself as there's no point getting angry when the horse has already bolted.

Police stations... Forcing a boy into marriage...

How would that help anything?

Has the OP said she is past 24 weeks?

Couldn't or wouldn't terminate?

If the latter, I would be strongly recommending termination, tbh, and talking her logically through her objections. If the former, I would be talking through where we went from here. Possibly to the horror of the PP above, I would mention adoption as an option and offer to go with her to SS to find out more if she felt that was a road she might possibly consider going down. But I wouldn't 'encourage' it.

I'd take care of her, ensure her antenatal health was being taken care of, make a plan for her to continue her education after the birth, and consider what we as her parents could offer in the way of support.

My eldest had her 1st baby at 20, and I was very upset that I felt she was wasting her life to a degree. She's an amazing mum but I also wished she'd lived a little first.

At 15 - I'd be half furious and half devastated.

If my daughter was pregnant at 15 I would tell her it would all be ok and be there for her. No lectures because what’s the point? She’d already be pregnant so lectures and a telling off wouldn’t change anything. She’d need love and support nothing else.

I would not go guns blazing at the boy she had sex with and I would make sure dp doesn’t either. It takes two to tango and a 15 her old girl knows exactly what’s she’s doing. I’m sure his parents would be wanting to support him too. I have sons and if a big grown man came threatening to deck one of them because his daughter is pregnant I would threaten to deck him back.

They know as well, that my full support doesn't mean they could do the same life at their friends, meaning going out as much as they wanted to... no way! I would babysit, but their baby would be their responsibility.

*year, not her