To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

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And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

I would probably cry in shock and hug dc at the same time. Like someone said upthread. Offer support, help, and rant and rave in private (ie.mn!). There will be allot of questions asked, and a lot of planning to,do.

However, watching Long Lost Families. The teens who had no support and had to give their babies away (and many more probably had abortions) have lived with the consequences ever since.

You can be disappointed in someone’s actions, but still love and support and guide them.

Inside I would be upset and sad especially if my daughter didn’t feel able to tell me until late on.

But I would ask her how she is feeling? What does she want to do? What support does she want from me? I would tell her, it has to be her decision and whatever she decides I will support her all the way in whatever way I can and she wants me to.

I don't think anyone can know until it happens.

But I tend to be a problem solver and to try and make the best of any situation.
So, I'd probably try to understand how it had happened and what were her feelings about it. Then try to help her figure out how to address it. And help, while still placing as much responsibility as possible on her.

Same with DS if he got a girl pregnant. But in his case, my first reaction would be disbelief. Unless he changes a lot in 2 years.

Sorry, but I'd be at the police station. She's 15. Thats illegal

When I first had sex it was the boy who was 15 and I was older (almost 17). Why didn’t I get marched to the police station? His mum had every right to do so technically.

Pretty appalled at the people who seem to think getting an abortion is like deciding what film to watch that night.

OP has said the person can’t gwt one. Whether that’s for medical or emotional reasons, it should be respected.

Initially very cross and worried.

But actually delighted. I spent 20 years terrified I'd get pregnant - then a few more TTC.

I wish I'd known then that being young and/or single would not have been the end of the world.

A blessing. A tough road but one I've seen several friends negotiate extremely successfully to be earning 250k plus!

Doesn't need to be a fast-track to Jeremy Kyle.

One friend had TWO by the time she was 15. She didn't stay with the abusive father but has now celebrates her silver wedding anniversary and was "free" by her late 30s.

i would hold her tight.tell her every emotion she is feeling right now is perfectly ok.spot on and let it all out.let her know that you will be going through this together.dont overthink and prjet your fears onto her.sit together and ask her what she wants but keep spaces.dont keep going on and on discussing because then tired rash decisions are made.so keep coming back to it.discussing feeling but give it time to think through all the optins.then talk and let that sink in then discuss again.make sure what comes next is right for all of you.

Pretty appalled at the people who seem to think getting an abortion is like deciding what film to watch that night.

Me too. I mean it’s every female’s choice but it seems like the instant solution for a 15 year old girl is an abortion. What if she DOESN’T WANT ONE?

“A blessing. A tough road but one I've seen several friends negotiate extremely successfully to be earning 250k plus!”

But you must admit that these women are the exception, rather than the rule?

Because I’d think I’d be doing a disservice to my daughter by not being realistic about the challenges of young motherhood.

I'd be totally devastated and from a selfish point of view quite frankly gutted because of the impact it would have on my own life. 15 year olds cannot independently raise children and if my child was 15, I'd be looking forward to getting my own life back after all that child rearing, not suddenly be thrown back to the baby years.

This happened to a close friend and her daughter. Said daughter is now 28 and has finally in the past couple of years got her life on to a track more in line with her real potential, but she spent an awful lot of time not having her late teen years and early twenties and her education went to hell in a handbasket.

My friend did the 'supportive but secretly screaming for months' bit - it took a lot out of her life and potential (as a divorced parent) supporting her daughter and grandson for so many years, too.

Honestly I'd be bloody devestated for them and they're future but I'd try to hold that in until they were in bed asleep or out of the house and then I'd break down and sob.

I'd honestly want to ring the boys neck as well and I don't want to even think about how they're Dad and 3 big brothers would react!

I was a pregnant 15 year old
If it was my daughter I would be supportive helping her in anyway I can in any decisions she decided to make as I didn't get any off that I had no help no home me and my then boyfriend now my husband of 18 years have been together 23 years my daughter is 21 now it was so hard when you have no help or surport of any loving parents or family but I did it I don't regret a single thing so I would say be there surport her the best you can even tho you
Are extremely disappointed and upset as i got non of that help her finish school a give her the confidence to become great in anything she chooses to do in the future a baby at a young age does not mean your life over

Like others I would hug her and tell her I love her. Inside I would be pretty devastated because it would just make everything about her life harder, and no way is it the optimum start in life for a child to have a 15 year old mother. Statistically speaking it’s unlikely the father is going to be great... if he’s a few years older then it would ring alarm bells that this could be a police matter. If the same age... well, 15 year old boys are generally pretty immature.

No 15 year old child should be becoming a parent in an ideal world... they should be learning, playing, having fun and being a teenager.

But it wouldn’t be the end of the world

Sorry, but I'd be at the police station. She's 15. Thats illegal. Then talk and support her

Im interested in exactly how you think going to the Police would help?

oh yes going to the Police Station about 15 year olds having sex really isn't a waste of police time, and will do loads for your relationship with your pregnant daughter....

Yes it will have a massive impact on the grandparents' lives. Tbf the families I know who have really done well after a baby at 15 / 16 have been supported by the family networks of one or both young parents.

how you think going to the Police would help

The police wouldn't be my first thought, but, surely, that really depends on who the father was and how she got pregnant.

It won't happen to me as mine are older but as someone who was pregnant at 18 I would like to think I would have been as supportive as my wonderful parents were. X

A pregnancy at 15 is going to impact hugely on so many people. Unless she can't have an abortion for medical reasons then I think she's being selfish.

Pretty appalled at the people who seem to think getting an abortion is like deciding what film to watch that night
I'm pretty appalled at those who wouldn't consider it tbh. Personally, I would be crossing all fingers and toes and hoping my child recognised it as the best option.
A 15yr old who decides having a baby is a great option for her age is hardly the poster child for maturity. Even more so, a 15 yr old who wants a baby is lacking something in their life and having a baby isn't going t make that go away

I was 18 and my parents hit the roof. Crying, asking what they would tell their friends ect and I was thrown out and did it all alone (this did me no harm at all, I was a mother after all).
I'd react with all the love and support I have to offer. I'd be a hands on grandma- grandma, not second mum- DD would have to be independent as a parent if that was the choice she made.

I'd be relieved she wasn't having an abortion and support her and her baby. I'm pro choice but I think abortion is very hard on the mother. Early motherhood is tough too, but with support it is possible.

I'm pretty appalled at those who wouldn't consider it tbh. Personally, I would be crossing all fingers and toes and hoping my child recognised it as the best option.
A 15yr old who decides having a baby is a great option for her age is hardly the poster child for maturity. Even more so, a 15 yr old who wants a baby is lacking something in their life and having a baby isn't going t make that go away

What a judgemental post.

One of my friends had a baby at 16. She’s now a very successful woman, did a degree at university, and works helping disabled children. She’s married and her child is a delightful teenager.

She wasn’t lacking anything nor was she immature. Stop attempting to force abortions on young women just because you don’t agree with their decisions.

tell her we will do it together and that i love her