To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

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And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

She wasn’t lacking anything nor was she immature. Stop attempting to force abortions on young women just because you don’t agree with their decisions
Yes, a child deciding to have a child doesn't lack maturity at all

I don't generally care what other children are doing but if I had a pregnant 15yr old I'd absolutely be putting abortion forward as a very valid option. Can't see what's appalling about that. Seems more like a no brainer.

Why is she unable to terminate?

That would be my first advice. I had a much wanted baby at 29 and that was hard enough.

A 15 year old is not able to support a baby and herself financially - someone else is picking up the bills - either her parents or the state. How is that right?

I don't generally care what other children are doing but if I had a pregnant 15yr old I'd absolutely be putting abortion forward as a very valid option. Can't see what's appalling about that. Seems more like a no brainer.

Because its not your decision. Your children aren’t objects that you own.

Blairwaldorf - disdain? Where did you get that from?

My reaction would totally depend on what sort of girl my DD was, how close I was to her, who the father of the child was (ie. boyfriend vs one night stand), how mature my DD was, whether it was an honest mistake or whether it was intentional etc etc.

By the time my DD is 15 I’d still be (just) young enough to have another child, so perhaps I’d be secretly pleased at having another opportunity to help raise a child?!

Who knows... impossible to say for sure until it happens to you....

My mum always said she'd throw me out but recently she said of course she wouldn't have done, it would have been her grandchild.

My father on the other hand...

Well if she was unable to terminate the damage is done so to speak. Being crap with her won't help. So I'd offer all the support I could to make sure she could continue her education and not damage her career prospects. I think in these situations family support is key to making it work.

I'd also talk about adoption by emphasising how hard parenting is at 30 as a couple let alone at 15 and (probably) single.

Abortions are not easy to go through.

I had a medical management of miscarriage, which is basically the same process. It gave me flashbacks and nightmares for months and was the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced.

Never in a million years would I suggest that to a teenager.

Sorry, but I'd be at the police station. She's 15. Thats illegal

What a waste of everyone's time.

A case like this did get to court recently (a year or so ago) and the judge was unimpressed that charges had been brought (by the girl's parents of course). Both parties were 15.

some of these replies have got me the police wont do anything if it was consenual, teenagers have sex, some of your teenagers more than likely do and they may not be 16 yet.
Also for people saying 15 is far too young to have a baby, this 15 year old could potentially be a better mother than some people in their 30s so you cant judge by age.
Either way if it was my daughter i would support her and not judge and make sure she makes the decisions she wants to make and not be forced into options by small minded people.

Totally honest answer, I'd probably flip out. After I'd calmed down, I'd tell her it'll be ok. Inside, I'd be gutted.

However, i know, years down the line, I couldn't be without that child in my life, I'd shudder at the thought of it. There still might be the confliction of a life my child could've had and the very notion of my love for my gc. I say might, my DD might well have had the drive and determination to get on and make something of her life, despite the obstacles a teenage pregnancy brings.

I would be devastated, extremely disappointed and sad

Honestly? I’d be devastated and would hope they would terminate. However I would have to support whatever decision they made, and make sure they were fully informed in that decision. I would worry that I would end up bringing up the child.

If termination was totally not possible then I would support her.

But inside I would be dying.

I would be supportive but might be inwardly devasted.

Why is not possible to terminate, are you in a country where it is banned? If so, and she wants to terminate, could you travel with her to another country?

I have a pregnant 16 year old. She’s due Dec, she won’t turn 17 til next Feb.

It was a shock. I knew she wouldn’t terminate before we even discussed options.

We hugged her, and planned forward. She got her (all passes) GCSE results today and we’ll help her through college.

I’d be absolutely fucking devastated but I’d hide that as best I could. I’m one of these people that thinks if there’s nothing you can do then there’s no point being upset but this would really test that.
On the outside I would support and find out what she wants to do and help her research and prepare.

Abortions can be easy/difficult to go through depending upon the individual. While I appreciate that an unwanted abortion would be a terrible thing, there are many many women who don’t find an abortion a traumatic experience or suffer long term emotional and physical consequences, and certainly not the same long term consequences that can result from keeping an unwanted baby.

Abortions are not easy to go through.

Depends.

But neither is labour, and at such an young age.

For what it’s worth I would want her to terminate but that would be her choice and her choice only. I wouldn’t even tell her I’d want it but I know I would

Jan it’s probably not traumatic if you want one, but in these cases people are saying they’d attempt to influence her. If it’s a free choice then yes an abortion probably isn’t emotionally awful, but if she felt coerced or didn’t really want one, then I think that’d be disasterous.

My medical management nearly broke me, and the pregnancy was unplanned but very much not unwanted.

Imagine the resentment, too. I don’t think I could forgive my mother if she had coerced me into an abortion I didn’t want!

Because its not your decision. Your children aren’t objects that you own
Ah, but they ARE children and therefore I will make sure they are educated on the options available.

Abortions are not easy to go through
I had a medical management of miscarriage, which is basically the same process. It gave me flashbacks and nightmares for months and was the most horrific thing I’ve ever experienced
Never in a million years would I suggest that to a teenager
I have had 8 m/c with a D&C for every single one. I would absolutely suggest that as an option to a teenager. ALL options need to be discussed.

But neither is labour, and at such an young age.

I wasn’t 15, but I can say my cesarean was easier than medical management.

The problem is that there are basically two outcomes here if the girl keeps the baby: either the girl ends up with her education going to shit which is bad, long-term, for her and the child, OR things go OK for the girl and her baby because they are getting a lot of input (childcare, financial support) from the extended family/families.

I mean, I would go through with supporting my kid because I would not abandon my daughter or grandchild, but yes, it would be complete and utter shit and I would be furious about the situation. Especially if I was just looking forward to being an empty nester in a few years' time. I would be especially angry if she had hidden the pregnancy for a long time, beyond the point of being able to get a termination.

Ah, but they ARE children and therefore I will make sure they are educated on the options available.

Ah, one of those authoritarian types. It’s fine to make sure she’s aware of the options, it’s not fine to coerce her into one.

I’m surprised that having experienced that, you’d suggest it to a teenager. I found it awful.