To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

[IhaveNCdforthispost]

And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

So body autonomy comes down to the woman....just not necessarily the one having the baby. 🤔

Care system, Witches.

I would discuss the options and listen. And do everything to keep her in education and the appropriate training for the long-term.

As it's a hypothetical debate - is this eugenics. The young, poor, incompletely educated encouraged to terminate?

I've seen this situation very closely with family members, all lovely for the first few months when the baby was a novelty but then became a nightmare, social service involvement etc. The grandmother ended up having to more or less raise the grandchild, the teenage DD went on to have two more children, none of them properly cared for, numerous support agencies involved. Grandma in despair, can't continue her own career, also looking after elderly parents and other children. The whole situation an absolute disaster. Sadly babies aren't always a 'blessing'.

There must be a way a 15-year-old can claim benefits- what if her parents kick her out?

Social services would put them into foster care

I would be devastated for her. I would hope to god she would have an early termination. I wouldn't force her to abort but would be very clear with her how the decision to continue with the pregnancy will affect her life.

I would also be devastated for me and dh as we would have to turn around and start again providing care and support for a baby or else let a 15 year old drop out of school. Obviously we would love the baby but I would hate to have to face that when I haven't even finished with the 3 I have.

The one decision I would find it almost impossible to support is if she decided to have the baby adopted.

I have a boy, which I think is harder in a way. I would be disappointed and sad but would do absolutely everything in my power to make sure that they still had the maximum life opportunities

I couldn't imagine actually encouraging her to abort my own grandchild

But you can’t look at it like this, it’s massively unfair.

Mummyschnauzer how would it be harder for a boy?

Is the OP genuine or a journo looking for a story?

The challenge with a boy is that if he got a girl pregnant he has no choice about whether to keep the baby or not. Of course many boys walk away with no impact on their lives, but I assume that most parents would not think that is right and would encourage their son to step up and be an involved father, and also be offering practical support to the other family. That might or might not be an easy thing to do.

If you would abort your own potential child (as I would in the right circumstances) then why would encouraging your daughter to abort a potential grandchild be so inconceivable?

I'd be shocked.

If you would abort your own potential child (as I would in the right circumstances) then why would encouraging your daughter to abort a potential grandchild be so inconceivable?

Because it is not your child. Not your decision.

Ihuntmonsters I understand your point however the impact on the girl with her education interrupted, the physical Impact of pregnancy, childbirth and sleep deprivation is much harder on the girl and her family. While this is no easy ride for the boy he can be as involved as he wants and if he were to continue onto university he would not even have to pay maintenance.

Nothing would change. My love and support would still be there.

I would be so excited and a bit worried.

Oh I know, fathers can opt out in a way that is totally wrong. As a parent of male and female teenagers I'm not more worried about ds getting a girl pregnant than dd getting pregnant. The two scenarios are very different. However I am also aware and have made sure that my ds is very aware that if he did get a girl pregnant he would not have the choice about whether or no to continue with the pregnancy whereas that would be dd's choice. I also made him very aware that if he did become a father that he would not be able to opt out as a parent and continue to be supported by us.

and yes of course it is the potential mother's choice alone as to whether to have an abortion or not. Encouraging your child to see that having an abortion is the best choice of action is not the same as making the decision yourself. I would hope that the abortion clinic would have pre abortion counseling set up (as they are required to) to make sure that the teenager has thought about and truly wants an abortion and is not being coerced. I do not believe that anyone on this thread is saying that coerced abortions are a good idea for anyone.

user1497863568

You would be "so excited" if your 15 year old DD became pregnant?

WOW.

I can think of many emotions I would feel. Excitement would not be one of them.

Truthfully I would be horrified and feel like I'd not done enough as a parent to prevent it .

I was pregnant at 16 , as was my mother and my grandma . I was living on my own with my partner (now husband)before the baby was born and it was hard . We both dropped out of school and he had a low paid job . My grandparents were supportive but unable to offer childcare so I didn't go back into education . Instead we had another at 17 and then got married at 18 .

I'm now 25 with 4 children . I have very few friends , I have no hobbies , I have no life outside this house . I barely see my family and I have serious health problems caused by pregnancy . Our children are happy , healthy , have everything they need and are doing well in school . We can now afford for me to start college this year to improve my long term prospects but it's been a long hard seemingly unending slog to get to this point . Me and dh have holey clothes , no winter boots ect , we've gone weeks where we've only eaten once a day to make sure the kids have had enough .

Hopefully that is behind us now but it's not something I would ever want for any of my children . So if one of mine were to come home as a teenager pregnant , if after explaining all of the above to them they still wanted to go ahead with the pregnancy then I would make sure they had the support needed to continue their education . I would make sure they know there's more options than to keep having kids and that they could still have a successful life . If I am entirely honest though , I would be quietly hoping that they'd choose to terminate .

I'd be horrified and very sad. Is this entirely hypothetical? Lots of hugs and 'we will sort this out together' type comments. I'd want to know how it happened, who is the father, was it consensual, has she seen a doctor? Are dates accurate? Honestly I think at this age an abortion is the wisest choice by far but if she really didn't want that, I'd support the decision.

I can’t imagine why on earth you might feel excited about your 15 year old being pregnant.

Extremely good point @BlackberryandNettle

Burrito, that was a very honest and insightful post. I wish you every success in your college course.