To ask how you would react if your 15 year old was pregnant

[IhaveNCdforthispost]

And was unable to terminate. I am interested in how you would react to this.

Equally, she can't give it back if she regrets going ahead. You take a decision, you own it, you live with it. Either way. That's grown-up life.

No you’re right she can’t. That’s why it needs to be HER decision and not a decision based on whatever everyone else wants. Neither decision is wrong, but it has to be hers. Otherwise it’s wrong to expect her to own it.

I’d go bonkers. Since we have easy access to contraception and abortion I would be completely furious.
I’d get over it of course but I’d still go berserk.

A baby isn’t. She has a home, and no bills. She can look after the baby until it’s school age

Oh yeah? With her mum who may already be sharing a bedroom with two sisters who need their sleep as they're in education, too, trying to finish school? How does that work? The mother looks after the baby for 5 years, who pays the bills for that? Who does the childcare when she has to go for work-focused interviews and placements on UC when the baby is 1 or 3 or whatever the low limit is now?

Interesting that op hasn't been back, I hope they are not a journalist 🙈

But a teen mother will need childcare if she's going to continue her education. Or do you think that shouldn't happen?

Not to mention it's illegal if she's 15 to quit school.

Interesting that op hasn't been back, I hope they are not a journalist

I don't care too much if they are. It's an interesting debate.

Since we have easy access to contraception

To be fair nothing is infallible.

I wouldn’t try to force or encourage a termination at any age, because it’s not my body or my decision. I am outraged, because no one should be forced into an abortion.

It's this simple. Not anyone else's decision.

People have fought for women's rights for years, for abortion laws and a whole manner of other things. Does that same level of need not apply because the person is 15? How ridiculous.

I wouldn't force a termination! - not sure why people are concluding otherwise. What I would do is spell out clearly all the ways in which having a baby at 15 is a terrible idea. You may see this as forcing - I don't. I wouldn't be dragging her kicking and screaming, no. V uncivilised.

@SleeplessInSuffolk you've been very clear. Nobody suggested forcing anything. Totally OTT. Agree with all you've said.

Lots of women have abortions for financial reasons, mostly when they have an accidental pregnancy after already having children and recognise that there would be a significant negative impact on their existing children if they have another one. So they don't. Not sure how much it is recognised that abortions are not mainly performed on teenagers but on older women.

I talked through the consequences of getting pregnant or becoming a father with both my children before they were 15, They both knew their contraceptive (and anti STD) options, where to get the morning after pill (we had an information leaflet on the fridge about it for many years) and that getting a termination in our town at the time was difficult and required planning and travel to the nearest city. They knew that dh and me would support them in making termination arrangements including driving them to the clinic (this would mean taking two days off work) and that if any of their close friends became pregnant and needed support in accessing a termination we'd help out too. Luckily that's no longer an issue as we live in the city now and medical terminations have finally been legalised (I'm not in the UK).

Obviously they were also aware that we didn't believe that having a baby in your teens was in any way a blessing. If I became pregnant I'd have an abortion because we've finished our family and don't want a baby, one of our teens having a baby would have a pretty similar impact to us having a child of our own so an abortion would be what we'd recommend and support. That doesn't mean we'd throw out a pregnant daughter or not see a potential grandchild (in fact we made it very clear to ds that if he did father a child we'd be making very sure he stepped up, and that child would be a part of our family).

I’m surprised at some of the responses on here-

-Her education- well, not everyone is academic anyway, it could be that she would end up with a low-paid or unskilled job even if she does get a degree!

• No financial support- Loads of women and couples far older rely on benefits to raise their kids- why is this okay, but somehow wrong for a 15-year-old to do it?

I’m not saying I think having a baby at 15 should be encouraged, btw.

Can a 15 year old even claim benefits?

I might be in the minority here but apart from it not being great timing I wouldn't mind. For the simple fact that I will always give my children my full support on everything, and if they are pregnant that is THEIR child to make decisions about not mine. I would never ever ever encourage my child to get rid of their own child just because it's not convenient to me or because I think they'll struggle. And I would never coerce them to keep their child if they didn't want to. It's their child and it's up to them what they do. I would point out options and facts and leave it at that. If they kept the baby I would give them all the support they needed to help raise it, and if they chose to terminate I would give them all the support they needed to get over it. Irregardless of how late or early on in the pregnancy they are it's still their child and that is a massive massive thing, it's not my place to try and sway a decision one way or another on that, all I can do is give facts and support

No, U2, they can't.

No I couldn't claim any benefits until I was 16U2HasTheEdge
My parents had to help us financially.

I think a 15 year old mother can claim child benefit but that's £20pw. Essentially the new child would become part of the family's claim - if they are on them. But don't know re cut offs and new low benefit rates whether there would be anything in reality for new baby.

No I couldn't claim any benefits until I was 16U2HasTheEdge
My parents had to help us financially.

And they would have been able to claim for both you and the baby.

And they would have been able to claim for both you and the baby.

They also might not to get any extra at all under UC if they are already claiming for 2 children.

If I had a daughter of course I would support her

But I would be absolutely devastated there is so much she could have done as a young woman that she is unlikely to now

Why are you asking??? First op then silence..... I'd like to know more about the circumstances to be honest

What would the UC situation be if the new child takes the family over the 2 child limit. Is that limit in place or just being threatened?

There must be a way a 15-year-old can claim benefits- what if her parents kick her out?

meadowmeow
It was 26 years ago😀.
My parents both worked full time. Although my mum went part time when dd was born for the first 6moths.

Withes - I think it would be foster care.