Ex wants to take child home for Christmas!

[adviceneededplease18]

AIBU to say no?
Child is 10, we live on the other side of the world. Separated when child was weeks old. Generally have pretty amicable relationship, so no court order in place. This year he wants to take child who will be 11 at time of travel home to the uk for Christmas with his now wife for 3/4 weeks. He's asked to take him back 3 times previously and I've always said no. It's too far, it's a special time of year or they are too young. They will spend time mostly holidaying with her family as doesn't have strong bond with his. (But they will see them at some point) Child identifies with her parents as grandparents etc, when they visit. I'm not sure what's best, child wants to go to the UK (first time) but would prefer not to go at Christmas as they've never been away from me on the day itself. No option for holiday at other time this year due to both their work commitments. What should I do?

I'm sorry. You are an utter manipulator. You try to manipulate your ex, and your son. I'd be very careful. There will come a
Point when he sees you for what you are and what you've done. I'd prepare to be very lonely from that point on.

Wow.

How does Christmas normally work then OP? Do the two of you take year about but in Oz? I know you'll miss DC but see it as an opportunity to lie in your pit, drink, watch tv and chill. As long as you refuse to allow DC to go then you are forcing your ex to choose and that's not fair. If I was him I would have dragged your arse to court long before now.

You need to let the child spend this Christmas with the part of their family that is not you. Plan an alternative Christmas before the trip, so that they have had the traditions you normally share and know they aren't missing out on that. Then LET THEM GO.

Personally if it was me I’d say no OP, I know my DC would really not like it either 💐

I do get why the OP might have good reason not to want her DS to go. That's not why she's getting a pasting on here. That's happening because she was saying that she would tell her DS that it would break her heart if he went. That's just not on, or do you think that's okay too? Also saying that it's been the two of them against the world, especially as her DS has a relationship with his dad.

Your poor child and your poor ex - all being messed/disappointed about because you're so selfish. And you're cross at your ex because he won't be flexible and move his trip to damp, dreary January so that you can have yet another christmas your way! You're treating this child like a possession, manipulating him, telling him things to pull his heartstrings. It's wrong and sad.

And for those saying what the child chooses goes - if the mother has engineered every single previous Xmas at her house then the dice is unfairly loaded in her favour. A good mother would never have done that, she should have created more of a balance for the sake of the child.

Are people falling for this still?