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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18 year old taking 12 year old on 4 trains aibu?

403 replies

lilypoppet · 21/08/2018 20:36

Without asking me,.my DH, Mil and 18 year old daughter have organised for the 18 year old to take my 12 year old daughter to Lincolnshire on their own. We live on West Sussex. This involves a long journey of 4 trains, including underground across London. I must stress DH isn't.going with them and I have not.been asked. I don't even know which station they'll.be picked up from. I have been given no information. They have already bought the tickets. What can I do?

OP posts:
Phosphorus · 21/08/2018 20:38

Why do anything?

There are 12 year olds who could do that alone, never mind having an adult sibling with them.

NapQueen · 21/08/2018 20:38

Presumably wave them off and pack some snacks? Im not seeing the issue. Unless either of them has any additional needs.

araiwa · 21/08/2018 20:38

Why do you need to do anything? Its already organized..

ArmySal · 21/08/2018 20:38

I wouldn’t have a problem with it, if the 18 year old is sensible enough.

NinetySixer · 21/08/2018 20:39

Erm... are you usually this irrationally anxious?

I knew kids who would take 2 trains to school every morning at the age of 12.

Chasingsquirrels · 21/08/2018 20:40

Why would you do anything?
In normal circumstances this is surely something which shouldn't be a problem for the 18yo.
Which bit do you have a problem with;

  • the children being there,
  • the journey,
  • not being involved in the decision making.
NewHampshire · 21/08/2018 20:40

I could easily have done that as an 18 year old, and I wouldn't mind an 18 year old taking a 12 year old, as long as the 18 year old is reasonably responsible and aware of their surroundings.

So I think YABU.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/08/2018 20:40

18 yo going on trains with a 12 yo is fine. What on earths the problem?

CloudCaptain · 21/08/2018 20:40

What is your problem?
I was getting a train to the next city at 12yo...

sonjadog · 21/08/2018 20:41

You don’t need to do anything. This is not a big deal. An 18 year old and a 12 year old are plenty old enough to manage just fine.

Cachailleacha · 21/08/2018 20:41

I don't see an issue.

SuperSuperSuper · 21/08/2018 20:41

This level of anxiety isn't healthy OP. I say this kindly, as a fellow fretter.

NotTheWayISeeIt · 21/08/2018 20:42

Is there more to this? Don’t you trust your DHs opinion or your 18 year old or 12 year old. It sounds an odd thing to worry about.

Singlenotsingle · 21/08/2018 20:42

Agree with what everyone else says. 18 is an adult.

SoyDora · 21/08/2018 20:43

This is absolutely fine in my eyes. The 18 year old is an adult. What is your concern?

JenFromTheGlen · 21/08/2018 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Stalmida · 21/08/2018 20:43

Are they going there to see MIL?

I think most 18 year olds & 12 year olds would be capable of doing that journey.

giveitfive · 21/08/2018 20:44

Ask them to ring you when they arrive safe.

Congratulate and thank 18yo for stepping up to the plate on the travel supervision.

Coolaschmoola · 21/08/2018 20:44

You are concerned about an ADULT taking a 12 yo on some trains? Um, why?! What do you think might happen?

At that age my mum dropped me off with my 18 yo cousin for a week. My cousin who was at Uni on the other side of the country, in Cheshire.

We went to Liverpool, London and Manchester in that week. All by train. One of the best times of my life!

SillySallySingsSongs · 21/08/2018 20:44

Can't see the issue

NewHampshire · 21/08/2018 20:44

Also, the London Underground is one of the easiest transport systems in the world. I really don't get why you think it's a big deal to go on the tube.

I used the tube to get to school by myself from the age of 11.

missymayhemsmum · 21/08/2018 20:45

So your adult daughter is taking the 12 year old to stay with grandma? Can't see any problem with that. What are you worried could happen? Presumably the issue is that your DH arranged it with his mum and daughters without consulting you? Lots of posters here would ike a DH that proactive. Presumably they will have a phone with them and be met at the other end? This is a half-day train journey across the South East of England, not 3 weeks on the trans-siberian.

JackReacherReader · 21/08/2018 20:45

12? Not 2? At 18? Have a biscuit Biscuit

TidyDancer · 21/08/2018 20:45

OP can you clarify exactly what you want to do? Based on what you've said I don't see any problem. They've been sensible enough to pre-book the trains so I'm sure they'll be fine, but if you could specify what your concerns are maybe some posters could reassure you.

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 21/08/2018 20:46

Errr a lot of 12 year olds would be fine without the 18 year old to be honest. With an 18 year old I really can’t see an issue. What is it that’s worrying you?