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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

18 year old taking 12 year old on 4 trains aibu?

403 replies

lilypoppet · 21/08/2018 20:36

Without asking me,.my DH, Mil and 18 year old daughter have organised for the 18 year old to take my 12 year old daughter to Lincolnshire on their own. We live on West Sussex. This involves a long journey of 4 trains, including underground across London. I must stress DH isn't.going with them and I have not.been asked. I don't even know which station they'll.be picked up from. I have been given no information. They have already bought the tickets. What can I do?

OP posts:
RoboJesus · 21/08/2018 20:46

I went on a similar journey when I was 12. Alone. Unless there is any special needs there is nothing wrong with an adult and an almost teen going on a journey

Coolaschmoola · 21/08/2018 20:46

Oh and in six short years your 12 year old could be at Uni in Scotland, doing MUCH longer journies - alone!

MysteriousQuinn · 21/08/2018 20:46

YABU 18 is an adult fgs

NerrSnerr · 21/08/2018 20:48

I wouldn't have a problem with this. What I'd do is make them a really nice packed lunch!

missymayhemsmum · 21/08/2018 20:48

Check.. phone charged. contact numbers. packed lunch. list of train changes.

Alpacanorange · 21/08/2018 20:49

IMHO the 18 yo is not taking the 12 yo. They are going together. However This should not have been arranged without your knowledge.

CrispbuttyNo1 · 21/08/2018 20:49

I’m struggling to see how this is a problem?

Cachailleacha · 21/08/2018 20:50

What can I do? Pack some snacks and make sure she has enough reading material?

NynaeveSedai · 21/08/2018 20:51

Nothing! Why would you?

BadPolicy · 21/08/2018 20:52

Maybe pick up a cheap power bank so they don't run out of charge on their phones?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 21/08/2018 20:52

OP, do you want to expand a bit?

SeaToSki · 21/08/2018 20:54

It seems strange that they haven't told you anything at all about the trip. Why would they plan it that way?

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 20:57

18 year olds live alone with children of their own. The 12 year old could do it alone with some prep around the journey, I genuinely don't see an issue with them doing it together. Unless this is actually just about you not being in control?

GirlsBlouse17 · 21/08/2018 20:57

What do you think is going to happen?

MistressoftheYoniverse · 21/08/2018 20:57

Chill lady...it will be an adventureGrin

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 20:58

@SeaToSki because it's not a big deal and they know OP will massively overreact and try to put a spanner in the weeks of what seems like a perfectly sensible plan?

FASH84 · 21/08/2018 20:58

*works

icannotthinkofauser · 21/08/2018 21:00

She's 18 not 8 I'm sure she's capable of making a train journey

Clairetree1 · 21/08/2018 21:01

But most 12 yer olds could do this alone anyway.

what is the issue?

FuckPants · 21/08/2018 21:01

What exactly is the problem?

category12 · 21/08/2018 21:01

Cut the apron strings? 18yr old should be perfectly capable of managing such a journey with their sibling, unless you're going to dripfeed something.

Clairetree1 · 21/08/2018 21:02

unless you think the 12 year old can't behave well enough? Does the 12 year old have serious behaviour problems?

bangourvillagebesttimeever · 21/08/2018 21:02

Is this a joke? My DC have been travelling to school on bus, train and tram by themselves since aged 11. I have no doubt they could take my MIL on a train and help her get around. They are more street wise than she is. YAB totally U

Clairetree1 · 21/08/2018 21:03

why would their father need to ask their mother before arranging this? Its up to him as much s you, isn't it?

QueenOfMyDomain · 21/08/2018 21:03

Wow.
Aged 16 i took my disabled brother on 4 trains to visit our Grandma. With wheelchair and multiple bags. In the days before mobile phones.
It was fine. What exactly are you worried about?